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The Art of Growing Up, Jerry Colonna

Jun 19, 2019 1h 12m 23 insights
Jerry Colonna is the CEO and co-founder of Reboot.io, an executive coaching and leadership development firm committed to the notion that better humans make better leaders. For nearly 20 years, he has used the knowledge gained as an investor, executive, and board member for more than 100 organizations to help entrepreneurs and others lead with humanity, resilience, and equanimity. Colonna is a certified professional coach, who draws on a wide variety of experiences to help clients design a more conscious life and make needed changes to improve their performance and satisfaction. Plug Zone Company: https://www.reboot.io/ Book: Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up: https://www.rebootbyjerry.com/ Event at the Rubin Museum with Dan Harris & Jerry Colonna 7/10 https://rubinmuseum.org/events/event/jerry-colonna-dan-harris-07-10-2019 Twitter: @jerrycolonna Ten Percent Happier Meditation - Sharon Salzberg's Dressing Up The Inner Critic: https://10percenthappier.app.link/2sFkPUVNiX ***VOICEMAILS*** Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326
Actionable Insights

1. Use Work for Personal Growth

Actively use the challenges and difficulties encountered at work as opportunities to confront and understand personal “stuff” or unexamined baggage, which can lead to professional improvement and personal growth.

2. Practice Radical Self-Inquiry

Sit still and look inward to understand what is truly happening within yourself, especially when faced with challenges or strong emotions, to gain clarity and self-awareness.

3. Consciously Choose Adult Self

Actively choose the kind of leader and adult you want to be, and when you fail to live up to that aspiration, practice self-compassion by “blowing yourself a kiss, dusting yourself off, and trying again the next day.”

4. Practice “Doing Your Work”

Consciously stop, stand still, slow down, and check in with yourself, pausing to question the stories you tell yourself about your day and whether they are true, to avoid acting from an unhealthy place.

5. Journal for Self-Reflection

Regularly write down your thoughts and reactions, especially when upset or challenged, to explore “what’s really going on for me” and learn from your responses without needing to talk to anyone.

6. Meditate for Self-Inquiry

Utilize your meditation practice to facilitate radical self-inquiry by observing your internal states and reactions, helping you understand underlying emotions and motivations.

7. Daily Emotional Check-in

Regularly pause and ask yourself, “How am I really feeling right now?” to connect with your true emotional state, which can prevent impulsive or inhumane reactions driven by unexamined feelings.

8. Use Specific Journaling Prompts

Engage with specific journaling prompts, such as those about your relationship to money or family belief systems, to uncover childhood structures driving present decisions and gain deeper self-understanding.

9. Leaders: Address Personal Baggage

If you are in a leadership position, take responsibility for confronting and working through your personal “unsorted baggage” from childhood, as failing to do so can create a toxic environment that negatively impacts employees and their families.

10. Lead by Inspiration, Not Fear

Strive to lead in a way that inspires the best in people and demands excellence, without using fear as a driver, to create an environment where individuals can grow and actualize their best adult selves.

11. Foster Psychological Safety

Create an environment of psychological safety where team members feel safe to speak up, where all voices are heard, and where there is equity, as this is a common denominator for highly successful teams.

12. Leaders Model Psychological Safety

As a leader, model psychological safety within yourself by being vulnerable and open, constantly checking into your purpose and vision, to create a sense of connectedness and esprit de corps in your team.

13. Ask: “Would My Child Work Here?”

Leaders should ask themselves, “If my child were to come to work for my company, how would I feel?” If you don’t feel pride and happiness, it indicates a need to improve your leadership and the work environment.

14. Use Red, Yellow, Green

Implement the “red, yellow, green” technique in meetings or personal reflections to quickly identify and communicate emotional states (red=anxious/not present, yellow=in-between/okay, green=fully present), fostering self-awareness and mutual understanding without delving into detailed stories.

15. Practice Unconditional Love

Strive to accept yourself totally, down to your bones, and extend unconditional love to others, even when they disappoint you or when relationships end, recognizing that everyone disappoints and hurts each other.

16. Respond to Failure with Growth

When you or others fail or disappoint, use it as an opportunity for growth and renewal, rather than self-recrimination or judgment, by building a “stairway to renewal” for yourself and others.

17. Examine Your Money Relationship

Deeply inquire into how your relationship with money was first formed, how it shapes your work choices and definitions of success/failure, and how it impacts your sense of worthiness, to understand its unconscious drivers.

18. Re-evaluate Productivity Expectations

Address “productivity shame” by examining and potentially lowering your basic expectations for the amount of work you can or should be doing, as taking on too much often leads to feelings of inadequacy.

19. Sit with Inactivity’s Awkwardness

When feeling guilty about resting or not being productive, simply sit with the awkwardness of not knowing how to be when not engaged in agenda-oriented activities, using mindfulness to observe these feelings without judgment.

20. Practice Self-Compassion for Shame

When experiencing “productivity shame” or a nasty inner narrator, use mindfulness to recognize the spiral and “change the channel,” potentially by practicing loving-kindness meditation for yourself.

21. Engage in Psychotherapy

Use psychotherapy to explore work-related issues and how they trigger personal “stuff” from your past, leveraging the therapeutic relationship for deeper self-understanding.

22. Separate Insight & Emotional Work

Understand that insight practices (like mindfulness meditation) and emotional work (like psychotherapy) are distinct and should generally be done separately, as insight practices focus on mental processes while emotional work addresses the substance of your emotions and life stories.

23. Avoid Spiritual Bypassing

Be aware of spiritual bypassing, which is using spiritual practices (like loving-kindness meditation) to avoid feeling into difficult aspects of your experience, and instead, confront your anger or distress directly.