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The Art and Science of Compassion | Thupten Jinpa

Jul 21, 2021 1h 12m 32 insights
It can be incredibly frustrating when life-changing, world-changing concepts such as compassion and kindness are often presented as cliches, because scientific research strongly suggests that learning how to practice compassion -- through meditation and other modalities -- can genuinely change your life. And enough of us did it, it could maybe change the world.  One of the people who is the best at getting this message out, in new and creative ways, is Thupten Jinpa. He is a former Tibetan monk who went on to go to Cambridge University, where he got a B.A. in philosophy and a Ph.D. in religious studies. Since 1985, he has been the principal English translator for His Holiness the Dalai Lama.  In this conversation, we talk about developing a compassionate meditation practice, building kindness and empathy, the connection between intention setting and compassion, and identifying and regulating negative emotional reactions.  A few technical notes: This episode is a rerun. We do reruns when we have episodes that are amazing that we think our newer listeners might enjoy. We also do them to give our staff a break once in a while. We actually recorded this conversation live in front of an audience at the Asia Society in New York City a few years ago. It was the day after the school shooting in Parkland, so you will hear a few references to that.  Check out Joseph Goldstein's course on compassion in the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/CompassionWithJoseph Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/thupten-jinpa-repost
Actionable Insights

1. Practice Compassion Regularly

Learn and practice compassion through meditation or other modalities, as scientific research suggests it can genuinely change your life.

2. Set Daily Intentions

Consciously set your intentions every morning, remembering your values and how you want to live your day, and review them in the evening to set the tone and reinforce behavior.

3. Cultivate Self-Compassion to Avoid Burnout

Develop a basic level of self-compassion to sustain long-term compassion for others and act as a buffer against exhaustion and resentment.

4. Act Out Compassion Daily

Reinforce your compassion meditation by actively practicing kindness in everyday life and seizing opportunities to help others.

5. Meditate for Self-Awareness

Practice meditation to quiet your mind, step back, observe your thoughts and behaviors, and become more self-aware to handle ego issues and personal patterns.

6. Develop Meta-Awareness with Mindfulness

Cultivate mindfulness meditation to gain meta-awareness, allowing you to step back, observe thoughts as “just a thought,” and cut spiraling negative energy, preventing relapse of depression.

7. Move from Empathy to Compassion

When experiencing empathy, shift your focus from merely feeling the problem to an empowered state of compassion, actively seeking solutions to avoid burnout.

8. Combine Compassion with Wisdom

Always combine compassion with wisdom, ensuring that kindness leads to appropriate action rather than “idiot compassion” or giving in.

9. Regulate Negative Emotions

Learn to regulate your own negative emotional reactions, which is a key component for personal transformation and preventing you from acting out deeply rooted tendencies.

10. Leverage Reward System for Habits

Tap into your brain’s reward system by finding pleasure in desired behaviors, such as acting kindly, to create sustainable habits rather than relying solely on willpower.

11. Define Self-Worth Internally

Define your self-worth internally as a human being with inherent value, rather than solely based on external achievements, to foster a healthier self-image.

12. Practice Self-Kindness in Failure

During difficult times, failures, or disappointments, practice self-kindness instead of self-criticism to learn from experiences and maintain composure.

13. Teach Children Emotional Regulation

Implement social emotional learning for children, teaching them to be aware of their emotions and use simple techniques like deep breathing to exercise restraint.

14. Understand Opposing Views with Compassion

Use compassion to look beyond surface differences and understand the underlying reasons why others hold opposing points of view, fostering connection and preventing hatred.

15. Consciously Prioritize Compassion

Make compassion an explicit personal value and consciously connect with it daily to become more aware of opportunities to express it and reinforce your practice.

16. Integrate Compassion into Politics

Bring compassion into political discourse to find more common ground and use it as a powerful antidote to divisive rhetoric.

17. Nurture Impulse for Connection

Recognize and nurture your fundamental human impulse for connection, affection, and love, as it is crucial for sustaining relationships and cooperation.

18. Give Benefit of Doubt

Practice giving others the benefit of the doubt and avoid immediate judgment, as compassion requires understanding before rushing to conclusions.

19. Stand Up Wisely to Intentional Meanness

If someone acts intentionally mean, stand up to them without losing your composure, understanding that their actions may stem from a place of pain.

20. Engage in Positive Competition

Compete with a positive mindset, motivated by self-improvement and contributing your best, rather than striving to stumble upon others to get ahead.

21. Utilize Meditation Apps for Compassion

Download meditation apps that offer guided courses on compassion to help you practice and integrate it into your daily life.

22. Focus on Struggling Individuals

In important sectors like education, pay more attention to individuals’ differences and those who are struggling to foster a more compassionate environment.

23. Make Compassion an Explicit Value

Explicitly state and promote compassion as a societal value to set a clear behavioral standard and expectation within communities.

24. Observe Your Mind’s Workings

Pay attention to the way your mind works to catch negative tendencies early and prevent them from escalating into problematic actions.

25. Distinguish Self-Compassion from Self-Absorption

Learn to differentiate between genuine self-compassion (a healthy attitude towards self) and unhealthy self-absorption.

26. Tailor Meditation to Personality

Recognize that different meditation practices may be more effective for different personality types, and explore options to find what suits you best.

27. Seek Burnout Prevention Training (Caregivers)

For those in caregiving roles, seek specialized training modules designed to prevent burnout by teaching skills to transition from empathy to proactive compassion.

28. Practice Genuine Self-Kindness

Practice genuine self-kindness, understanding it as a healthy attitude towards yourself, not as self-indulgence.

29. Cultivate Knowledge for Transformation

Acquire knowledge to change your mindset and learn to see the world and yourself in a new way, as it is a crucial factor for personal transformation.

30. Internalize New Views Through Meditation

Use meditation as a process to internalize and process new ways of seeing things, facilitating a deeper transformation of your behavior.

31. Act Kindly for Connection

Engage in acts of kindness towards others to foster a sense of connection, which is at the core of compassion.

32. Notice Joy in Small Kindnesses

Pay attention to the immediate positive feelings and joy that arise from performing small acts of kindness, as this reinforces the behavior.