<p dir="ltr">Nobody makes it out of childhood unscathed. Here's a guide to letting go of the past.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.allisonsweetgrant.com/">Allison Sweet Grant,</a> graduate with dual master's degrees from the University of Michigan, is a psychiatric nurse practitioner, turned author. She has been published in The New York Times and The Atlantic. She is the author of two children's picture books, The Gift Inside the Box and Leif and the Fall, co-authored with her husband Adam Grant. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Am-Cage-Allison-Sweet-Grant/dp/059361691X">I Am the Cage</a> is her debut novel.</p> <p><strong><br /> <br /></strong></p> <p dir="ltr">In this episode we talk about:</p> <ul> <li dir="ltr">The impact of your childhood trauma on your adult relationships</li> <li dir="ltr">The concept of the "junk drawer" (a metaphor for all the pain, self-doubt, and anxiety you might try to compartmentalize)</li> <li dir="ltr">Writing as a tool for self-acceptance and self-compassion </li> <li dir="ltr">How to re-write your own story and where to start </li> <li dir="ltr">Practical meditation tools to quiet the mind </li> <li dir="ltr">The role of cathartic visualization </li> <li dir="ltr">Dealing with imposter syndrome </li> <li dir="ltr">And more</li> </ul> <p><strong><br /> <br /></strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Join Dan's online community <a href="http://www.danharris.com/">here</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Follow Dan on social: <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J">TikTok</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Subscribe to our <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD">YouTube Channel</a></p> <p><strong><br /> <br /></strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more <a href="http://eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-2025">here</a>!</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Tickets are now on sale for a special live taping of the 10% Happier Podcast with guest Pete Holmes! Join us on November 18th in NYC for this benefit show, with all proceeds supporting the New York Insight Meditation Center. Grab your tickets <a href="https://www.nyimc.org/event/great-cosmic-joke/">here</a>!</p> <p><strong><br /> <br /></strong></p> <p dir="ltr">To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit <a href="https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris">https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr"> </p> <p dir="ltr">Thanks to our
Actionable Insights
1. Examine Your “Junk Drawer”
Metaphorically open your internal “junk drawer” to examine all the negative thoughts, self-doubt, loneliness, and anxiety you’ve compartmentalized. Laying these memories and feelings out allows for easier processing and understanding of their impact.
2. Rewrite Your Personal Narrative
Consciously reassess and reframe your personal story, especially past traumas, through various means like therapy, talking to friends/family, or creative work. This process allows you to gain agency and choose not to be defined by old narratives.
3. Use Creative Work for Healing
Engage in creative self-expression, such as writing, to honestly examine your thoughts and feelings without judgment or performance pressure. This can be a powerful tool for processing trauma, cutting yourself slack, and accepting who you are.
4. Reverse the “Toilet Vortex”
To break free from negative self-reinforcing cycles, consciously examine past events, how you felt about them, and their impact on your life. Make a deliberate choice not to let these past experiences define you anymore, moving towards an “upward spiral.”
5. Embrace Gratitude and Grief
Realize it’s okay to hold both gratefulness for opportunities and grief for things that didn’t go right. Move forward by recognizing both feelings, allowing yourself to deal with them in a way that feels right to you.
6. Practice Cathartic Self-Disclosure
Share your personal struggles and experiences with others, whether through direct conversation or creative work. This act of admitting truths can lead to catharsis, liberation, and connection, as others may normalize their own experiences through yours.
7. Prioritize Honesty in Expression
When expressing yourself, especially about personal experiences, strive to be as honest and plain as possible. This approach helps others connect with your story and makes your message more impactful and relatable.
8. Integrate Short Meditations Daily
Find a few spare minutes during daily activities, like waiting in the car, to pause and attempt to center yourself or repeat a mantra. Even short, imperfect attempts contribute to mindfulness and self-awareness.
9. Reframe Meditation: “Start Again”
Understand that the goal of meditation is not to clear your mind or stop thinking, which is impossible. Instead, pick something to focus on (like breath or sounds), and every time you get distracted, gently notice and start again without a hostile attitude.
10. Use Positive Meditation Self-Talk
When you realize your mind has wandered during meditation, use a gentle phrase like “great job, welcome back” to acknowledge your return to awareness. This fosters a kinder, more accepting approach to your practice.
11. Avoid Perfectionism in Self-Improvement
Do not set perfection as a goal in self-improvement or self-understanding, as it is unattainable and unconstructive. Accept that you will retain the capacity for “schmuckiness” and focus on progress, not flawlessness.
12. Focus Meditation on Life Improvement
Shift your primary meditation goal from “getting better at meditation” to “getting better at life” by becoming less owned by your thoughts. This reframing helps manage expectations and highlights the practical benefits of the practice.