Shift from a self-focused, inward-looking sense of self to considering and integrating other people. This reduces personal pressure and helps you gain perspective on your own life by appreciating others’ circumstances.
See your self-identity as a story that is constantly unfolding and can be rewritten over time. This fosters hope and the belief that nothing is inevitable, especially when facing despair.
Use language to get out of your head by referring to yourself in the third person (e.g., ‘Bruce is worried’). This linguistic shift tricks the mind, reducing the emotional impact of negative thoughts and helping to gain perspective.
Make a practice of acting on spontaneous thoughts to do something generous, without letting second thoughts squelch them. Following through on these impulses leads to positive feelings and fosters connection.
Actively reach out and reconnect with people in meaningful ways, prioritizing in-person or voice communication over cursory texts. This combats isolation and fosters stronger, more satisfying social bonds.
Join groups, clubs, or engage in activities with shared interests (e.g., dog walking, volunteering) that are not work or home. These ’third places’ create opportunities for spontaneous social interactions and connections.
Pay close attention to what others are saying, process it, and respond with questions that demonstrate genuine understanding. This creates strong bonds and satisfying interactions because people feel truly heard.
Be willing to disclose your vulnerabilities and past failures, as this reveals your humanity and builds trust with others. People tend to like, appreciate, and identify more with those who are open about their setbacks.
Be willing to take social risks, trust people, and embrace failure as a natural and important part of growth and learning. This is crucial for personal advancement and overcoming risk-averse tendencies.
Recognize that others typically like you more than you assume, which is a common misjudgment. This awareness can reduce reluctance to enter into conversations and encourage more frequent social interactions.
Remember that others are less focused on your perceived weaknesses and flaws than you are. This helps to reduce self-consciousness in social situations, as people generally don’t notice your mistakes as much as you think.
Be mindful of the brain’s inherent bias towards negative information and reduce social media use, especially if sensitive to criticism. This helps to avoid the ‘compare and despair’ phenomenon and its detrimental effects on self-esteem.
Keep a journal to regularly write down three positive things that have gone well for you each day. This provides tangible evidence of good experiences and a record to review, helping to focus on the positive aspects of life.
Use a journal to process negative events and challenges, externalizing your thoughts from your mental space. This makes them a piece of evidence you can review, helping to gain perspective and prevent rumination.
Consciously and deliberately reappraise situations in a more positive light over time, actively looking for silver linings. This practice will gradually shift your default thinking from pessimism to a more balanced or optimistic view.
Apply the ABCDE technique (Adversity, Belief, Consequences, Dispute, Energize) to challenge pessimistic thoughts. Write down the adversity, your beliefs, and the consequences, then dispute those beliefs by acting as a defense lawyer to find positive outcomes, leading to energization.
Utilize the WOOP (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan) technique to achieve goals and develop better habits. Clearly define your wish and desired outcome, identify potential obstacles, and create concrete contingency plans to overcome them.
Maintain an optimism that is grounded in reality and personal responsibility, avoiding unrealistic expectations and reckless behavior. While optimism is beneficial, it should not lead to a failure to adapt or take necessary action.
Seek out and engage in engrossing tasks that match your skill set and provide a sufficient challenge. This allows you to achieve a ‘flow state’ where time disappears, and you feel very content and absorbed in the activity.
Practice meditation to shift attentional focus away from the inner monologue and accept disturbing thoughts rather than suppressing them. This helps to quell a disturbed mind, cultivate present moment awareness, and become ‘flow ready’.
Regularly spend time in nature to disengage from autopilot and encourage mindfulness. Engaging with the unpredictable and aesthetically pleasing natural environment can subdue the default mode network and foster engagement.
Direct your energy towards enriching the lives of others, as this fosters more authentic and lasting happiness than self-gratification. You will also benefit from being liked and supported by those around you.
Understand that doing good for others is a fundamental design feature of the human operating system that inherently makes you feel good. This insight provides a powerful and intrinsic motivation for altruistic actions.
View happiness as a skill that requires consistent practice and effort to maintain and improve. Without continued engagement with positive activities and mindsets, results can revert to baseline levels.
Utilize custom guided meditations, especially those tailored to specific issues like overthinking, to help internalize wisdom from conversations. These meditations serve as a ’lab’ to pound wisdom into your neurons and manage mental patterns.
Subscribe to resources that offer guided meditations, ad-free content, and live sessions to deepen your practice. This provides ongoing support and tools to integrate insights into your daily life and cultivate mental well-being.