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Stoic Advice for Handling Setbacks, Insults, and Death | William Irvine

Apr 21, 2025 1h 14m 22 insights
<p dir="ltr">How to boost your psychological immune system, the stoic way.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.williambirvine.com/">William "Bill" Irvine</a> is the emeritus professor of philosophy at Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio.  He is the author of eight books that have been translated into more than twenty languages, including Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy and Stoic Challenge: A Philosopher's Guide to Becoming Tougher, Calmer, and More Resilient.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Bill is one of many great teachers featured on Waking Up, a top-notch meditation app with amazing teachers and a ton of courses for all levels. If you subscribe via this link: <a href="http://wakingup.com/tenpercent">wakingup.com/tenpercent</a>, you'll get a 30-day free trial—and you'll be supporting the 10% Happier team, too. Full and partial scholarships are available.</p> <p> </p> <p dir="ltr">In this episode we talk about:</p> <ul> <li dir="ltr">How Bill was first introduced to Stoicism (the story involves a midlife crisis and a banjo.) </li> <li dir="ltr">The comparison between Stoicism and Buddhism</li> <li dir="ltr"> Psychological strategies for attaining equanimity </li> <li dir="ltr">The practice of negative visualization</li> <li dir="ltr">Stoic approaches to handling anger and insults</li> <li dir="ltr">How to reframe setbacks as tests</li> <li dir="ltr">Stoicism VS emotional suppression</li> <li dir="ltr">Tools for navigating the challenges of our digital age</li> <li dir="ltr">What Stoics say about pursuing fame and status</li> <li dir="ltr">And why death is the "ultimate exam"</li> </ul> <p dir="ltr"> </p> <p dir="ltr">Join Dan's online community <a href="http://www.danharris.com">here</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Follow Dan on social: <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J">TikTok</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Subscribe to our <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD">YouTube Channel</a></p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Additional Resources: </p> <ul> <li dir="ltr"><a href="https://app.wakingup.com/packs/PK7REQC">Links to Bill's Waking Up content</a></li> <li dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.williambirvine.com/books">Links to Bill's books</a> </li> </ul> <p> </p>
Actionable Insights

1. Strengthen Psychological Immune System

Purposely engage in uncomfortable activities and situations with a risk of failure to build resilience and expand your comfort zone, preventing your ability to deal with setbacks from atrophying.

2. Practice Negative Visualization

Regularly imagine losing something important you currently possess, such as your eyesight or a loved one, to cultivate appreciation for what you have and prepare your mind for inevitable loss. This practice should be momentary, not prolonged, and can be applied as needed throughout the day.

3. Reframe Setbacks as Tests

View life’s setbacks as tests from ‘Stoic gods’ (or a coach) designed to make you stronger, improve your ability to bounce back, and learn from failures, aiming to stay calm and find workarounds.

4. Nip Anger in the Bud

At the first sign of a potentially anger-inducing situation, while your rational mind is still in control, consciously decide not to be bothered by it to prevent the emotion from escalating and consuming you.

5. Prevent Negative Emotions from Arising

Instead of suppressing negative emotions after they arise, employ strategies to prevent them from emerging in the first place, such as nipping anger in the bud, so there is nothing to suppress.

6. Cultivate Positive Emotions

Actively encourage and increase your chances of experiencing positive emotions like love, joy, delight, and appreciation by developing your ability to appreciate the life you are living.

7. Silence the “Lazy Bill” Voice

When engaging in difficult tasks, recognize and actively tell the ’lazy’ voice in your head to ‘shut up and get out of here,’ developing the ability to push through discomfort and take ‘one more stroke.’

8. Prepare for Death as Ultimate Exam

View your own death as the ultimate exam you’ve been preparing for your entire life, focusing on controlling your response to the circumstances of dying, even if you cannot control the circumstances themselves.

9. Practice “Last Time” Meditation

When performing any action, imagine it is the last time you will ever do it, fostering appreciation for the present moment and acknowledging the inevitability of death.

10. Perform Stoic Bedtime Meditation

Engage in a bedtime meditation by actively thinking about the day’s events, reflecting on how well you adhered to Stoic ideals, noting instances of anger (points off) and successful Stoic responses (points on).

11. Choose Not to Be Upset

When faced with a situation that could cause anger or upset, consciously choose not to be bothered by it, recognizing that you have control over your response and that avoiding upset is a personal victory.

12. Consider Other’s Perspective

When someone’s actions make you angry, consider their perspective and potential reasons (difficult childhood, bad day) for their behavior, fostering magnanimity and reducing your own anger.

13. Evaluate Anger’s Impact

Before succumbing to anger, question its utility by asking if it will genuinely help the situation or if it will only hurt you, and consider if there are more constructive actions to take.

14. Ignore Insults Directly

When insulted, simply ignore the comment and continue the conversation as if nothing was said, frustrating the insulter whose goal was to upset you.

15. Turn Insults Into Jokes

Develop the skill to turn an insult into a joke, perhaps by self-deprecating humor or by pointing out the insulter’s lack of knowledge about your true shortcomings.

16. Learn to Increase Awe

Combat boredom and increase your experience of awe by continuously learning more about the world, as greater knowledge reveals the universe’s incredible nature.

17. Redefine Success as Equanimity

Define success not by external metrics like wealth or fame, but by your ability to deal with setbacks, make choices that increase equanimity, and thrive in the life you have, leading to a peaceful mind.

18. Control Personal Needs

Exercise control over your non-biological needs by being satisfied with what you have (e.g., a certain size house or car), rather than constantly desiring more, which contributes to inner peace.

19. Question Social Media Status

Be critical of social media’s definition of success as impressing strangers, and instead, decide your own values and metrics for a well-lived life, rather than being captured by audience demands.

20. Impress Select Wise Individuals

Instead of seeking to impress complete strangers or a large audience, focus on impressing a selective group of wise individuals, such as close family, true friends, or historical figures whose values you admire.

21. Avoid Flaunting Wealth

Do not flaunt your wealth to avoid encouraging envy in others, recognizing that this desire is ‘sick and twisted’ and contributes to negative emotions for both parties.

22. Cultivate Inner Peace on Earth

Cultivate inner peace and a positive approach to life now, on Earth, rather than postponing it for a potential afterlife, as your current personality will likely carry over, and Earth is a certainty.