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Status: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How To Get It Without Driving Yourself Crazy | Will Storr

Apr 23, 2025 1h 7m 15 insights
<p dir="ltr">Plus more surprising information on this fundamental human drive.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.thescienceofstorytelling.com/">Will Storr</a> is a multi award-winning writer and Sunday Times bestselling author. His latest book is <a href="https://www.thescienceofstorytelling.com/books">A Story is a Deal: How to use the science of storytelling to lead, motivate and persuade</a>.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Waking Up, a top-notch meditation app with amazing teachers and a ton of courses for all levels. If you subscribe via this link: <a href="http://wakingup.com/tenpercent">wakingup.com/tenpercent</a>, you'll get a 30-day free trial—and you'll be supporting the 10% Happier team, too. Full and partial scholarships are available.</p> <p><strong><br /> <br /></strong></p> <p dir="ltr">In this episode we talk about:</p> <ul> <li dir="ltr">The key elements of a properly deployed story</li> <li dir="ltr">The different ways to measure status</li> <li dir="ltr">The three main ways humans compete for status</li> <li dir="ltr">The benefits of altruism as a source of status</li> <li dir="ltr">The  balance between self interest and altruism </li> <li dir="ltr">How mindfulness factors into the status drive</li> <li dir="ltr">Managing our relationships with social media<strong><br /> <br /></strong></li> </ul> <p dir="ltr">Related Episodes:</p> <ul> <li dir="ltr"> <h2 dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://www.danharris.com/p/why-you-cant-pay-attention-and-how-77b?utm_source=publication-search"> Why You Can't Pay Attention - And How to Think Deeply Again | Johann Hari</a></span></h2> </li> </ul> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Sign up for Dan's newsletter <a href="http://www.danharris.com">here</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Follow Dan on social: <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J">TikTok</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Ten Percent Happier online <a href="https://bit.ly/46TZglY">bookstore</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Subscribe to our <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD">YouTube Channel</a></p> <p><strong id="docs-internal-guid-45550025-7fff-73cd-c5ea-5a65a4348605">Our favorite playlists on: <a href="https://spoti.fi/3Qa8kMT">Anxiety</a>, <a href="https://spoti.fi/3MjtMxF">Sleep</a>, <a href="https://spoti.fi/3QvyA5J">Relationships</a>, <a href="https://spoti.fi/3QxZASc">Most Popular Episodes</a></strong></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Embrace Status as Core Human Need

Recognize that status is a fundamental human need for feeling valued by others, and be compassionate towards yourself and others when this need feels threatened or in decline. Dismissing it as ‘just ego’ is damaging, as status drives significant human experiences and suffering.

2. Cultivate Multiple Status Sources

Diversify your sources of status beyond a single domain (e.g., job, hobbies, volunteering, teaching) to ensure psychological well-being. This prevents vulnerability if one area declines and provides a broader sense of worth.

3. Tell Positive, Optimistic Stories

When trying to motivate or persuade, craft stories that are positive, optimistic, and present a clear vision of an incredible future. Avoid overly negative narratives or solely relying on data and facts, as these fail to inspire and can alienate your audience.

4. Understand Your Audience’s Story

Before communicating, identify your audience’s existing self-story, values, and primary motivators. Tailor your narrative to resonate with their identity and create a feeling of identification.

5. Use Relatable Underdog Protagonists

To foster strong identification and connection, feature a relatable underdog protagonist or frame your collective journey as a struggle against odds. Vulnerability and shared struggle are powerful shortcuts to audience kinship.

6. Incorporate Emotion for Recall

Weave emotional peaks into your stories, whether for advertising, leadership, or personal communication. Emotional engagement leads to better recall and stronger influence, regardless of the specific emotion evoked.

7. Strive for Story Simplicity

Ensure your persuasive stories are absolutely simple and present a clear, visualizable end goal. This clarity helps rally people, motivates collective action, and makes the vision easy for everyone to grasp.

8. Re-evaluate Status Metrics

Periodically assess where and how you are measuring your status. If you’re fixated on a metric that’s causing pain or not performing well, consider other ways you offer value to yourself and others.

9. Embrace Altruism for Well-being

Engage in altruistic or virtue-based activities like volunteering, as doing good for others naturally provides status and a profound sense of internal well-being. Do not feel guilty for the positive feelings or external recognition that result.

10. Use Mindfulness for Ego Management

Practice mindfulness to observe ego-driven urges (e.g., bragging, virtue signaling, dominating) without immediate reaction or self-judgment. This self-awareness allows for more deliberate and sane responses to status threats or desires.

11. Avoid Catastrophic Altruism

While altruism is beneficial, be mindful of the ‘catastrophic altruism’ trap where you neglect your own needs by not asserting yourself enough. Ensure a balance between helping others and valuing your individual self.

12. Understand Social Media’s Status Game

Recognize that social media platforms are designed as ‘slot machines for status,’ exploiting your status detection system through unpredictable rewards (likes, retweets). Understanding this mechanism can help you detach from its addictive pull.

13. Reduce Moral Sphere on Social Media

On social media, focus more on your own moral behavior and less on constantly judging others’ perceived moral flaws. This reduces unproductive criticism and the toxic pursuit of virtue-based status through attacking ideological enemies.

14. Prioritize Understanding Over Criticism

In political or ideological disagreements, actively seek to understand the ‘other side’s’ story and motivations, rather than immediately criticizing or demonizing them. This approach, though difficult, is essential for constructive dialogue and progress.

15. Avoid Humiliating Others

Refrain from humiliating others, especially publicly, as it strips them of status and is at the root of the worst human behaviors. When trying to persuade or gain allies, craft stories that affirm, rather than diminish, the audience’s status.