Actively reimagine how to connect with people when usual habits and routines of relationships are broken, making it a top priority to maintain and broaden these connections. This is crucial because relationships are considered a key to a happy life, and current circumstances have disrupted traditional interaction patterns.
In close living situations, consistently ask, ‘What’s the best thing for the relationship?’ and allow others the flexibility to do things their way. This approach helps maintain harmony and reduces friction, even if it means letting go of minor frustrations like a spouse talking loudly on phone calls.
Recognize when to simply ‘drop the rope’ in arguments or minor disagreements, especially with family members, by letting go of control over small issues. This is because it’s not always the right time to teach a particular lesson or use ’nagging points,’ and sometimes leaving tasks undone is better for the relationship.
Prioritize your own happiness, calm, energy, and focus by ensuring adequate sleep, exercise, healthful eating, and downtime. This is not selfish, as putting on your own oxygen mask first allows you to have ‘more to give’ and extend compassion and patience to others.
Strike a balance between being compassionate with yourself during stressful times and considering your ‘future self’ by avoiding behaviors that will lead to regret or missing opportunities. This acknowledges that while self-compassion helps you cope, your current actions have consequences for your future well-being.
Learn about the Four Tendencies (Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, Rebels) to understand how you and others respond to expectations. This framework helps in communicating more effectively and addressing conflicts or procrastination with less friction.
Tidy up and declutter your physical environment, even seemingly superficial areas like a coat closet. This practice contributes to inner calm, especially during stressful times, as it provides a sense of control over your immediate surroundings.
Lean into new forms of connection during video calls by styling your background to reflect something about you or not worrying if kids or pets wander into view. This fosters a different kind of intimacy and helps create a sense of community when physical interaction is limited.
Make allowances for unusual behavior from people (and pets) in your life, understanding that it might be a temporary response to an unusual, stressful situation rather than a permanent change. This perspective helps reduce friction and unnecessary attempts to ‘fix’ something that is situation-dependent.
Be the master of your technology by turning off notifications, muting group texts, or checking social media only at specific times. This ensures technology serves you and doesn’t become a source of distraction or emotional drain.
When things become overwhelming, allow yourself healthy distractions, such as watching a favorite show. This can provide a necessary ‘mental break’ to take a deep breath and regain your sense of humor.
During times of uncertainty and amplified stress, concentrate on setting clear priorities for ’today and this week’ rather than attempting to accomplish everything. This helps manage the overwhelming feeling of constant recalibration when circumstances are rapidly changing.
While focusing on essential tasks, also make room for non-essential activities and remain open to serendipitous opportunities. Being too rigid with ’essentialism’ might close off unforeseen opportunities and experiences that could be valuable.
Immediately complete any task that can be done in less than a minute without delay. This prevents small items from accumulating into clutter and helps maintain an organized environment.
Dedicate 10 minutes to tidying up whenever you are transitioning between different parts of your day, such as ending your workday or before going to bed. This consistent effort helps maintain order and prevents clutter from building up over time.
Keep a running list of small, nagging tasks that often get neglected and dedicate a specific hour each week, like on a weekend, to tackle them. This practice provides relief by checking off ‘open things that just drain us’ and prevents minor issues from lingering.
If you identify as an ‘obliger’ and struggle to meet inner expectations (e.g., meditating, exercising), create a form of outer accountability. Obligers thrive when there’s an external expectation, such as a deadline, a coach, or a group, to help them follow through.
When dealing with a ‘rebel child,’ offer them choices, freedom, and appeal to their identity (e.g., ‘you’re a conscientious student’), allowing them to complete tasks in their own way and time. This approach respects their need for autonomy and can lead to better cooperation, as rebels resist being told what to do.
For a ‘questioner child,’ provide clear reasons and justifications for why they need to do something. Questioners resist anything arbitrary, so ‘because I say so’ will not be effective; they need to understand the rationale behind a request to comply.
Be aware of your own and others’ Four Tendencies to mindfully set up circumstances that allow for the best work with the least friction. Understanding these differences helps prevent conflict and allows individuals to thrive in conditions that suit their natural inclinations.
Identify a ‘spiritual master’ who embodies transcendent values for you, learn about their teachings, and then translate those teachings into practical actions in your everyday life. This is a creative way to connect with your deepest values and integrate them into daily living.
Pay attention to and find meaning in the ‘quotidian aspects of our lives’ and ‘small, doable ways’ to boost happiness. This perspective highlights how everyday life, even seemingly mundane aspects, can be meaningful and impactful for overall well-being.
If you are a healthcare worker, grocery store worker, food delivery person, or teacher, sign up for free access to the 10% Happier meditation app at 10percent.com/care. This initiative provides support during challenging times under ‘deeply, deeply suboptimal circumstances.’