<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>This stuff can be done by anyone, anywhere, anytime.</p> <p><a href="https://www.kairajewel.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Kaira Jewel Lingo</a>, a frequent flier on this show, was an ordained Buddhist nun for 15 years. Now she lives in New York, writes books, and teaches meditation all over the world. <a href="https://valeriebrown.us/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Valerie Brown</a> is a former lawyer and lobbyist who traded in her high-pressure job to teach the dharma. She also works as an executive coach. And <a href="https://www.mariselabgomez.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Marisela Gomez</a> is a physician, public health scholar and longtime meditator. </p> <p>All three guests come out of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh's Plum village tradition. They also are the co-authors of the new book <a href="https://www.parallax.org/product/healing-our-way-home/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Healing Our Way Home: Black Buddhist Teachings on Ancestors, Joy, and Liberation</em></a><em>. </em></p> <p><strong>Related Episodes:</strong></p> <ul> <li><a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/kaira-jewel-lingo-news" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.happierapp.com/podcast/tph/kaira-jewel-lingo-363" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo</a></li> <li><a href="https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/valerie-brown-228" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Medieval Executioner in Your Head | Valerie Brown</a></li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3QtGRqJ" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>here</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Follow Dan on social:</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Instagram</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>TikTok</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Ten Percent Happier online</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/46TZglY" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>bookstore</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Subscribe to our</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>YouTube Channel</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Our favorite playlists on:</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3Qa8kMT" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Anxiety</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3MjtMxF" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Sleep</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3QvyA5J" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Relationships</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3QxZASc" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Most Popular Episodes</strong></a></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/brown-gomez-lingo" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/brown-gomez-lingo</a></p> <p><strong>Additional Resources:</strong></p> <ul> <li>Download the Happier app today: <a href="https://my.happierapp.com/link/download" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://my.happierapp.com/link/download</a></li> </ul> <p><br /></p>
Actionable Insights
1. Pause and Stop Habitual Reactions
Make a deliberate effort to create space by pausing, taking a breath, and slowing down, especially when triggered. This helps to stop automatic, habitual reactions, prevent responding out of enmity or violence, and allows for a more grounded and stable response instead of being hijacked by emotions.
2. Practice Deep Looking (Vipassana)
After pausing, look deeply into what is happening, observing flashes of emotion like anger. This practice allows you to see clearly, understand the need to care for your own emotions, and eventually extend empathy and compassion to others, moving from reactive patterns to conscious, grounded responses.
3. Process Conflict with Four Chairs
To workshop painful exchanges, imagine responding from four perspectives: first, express all anger and blame towards the other person; second, take all the blame onto yourself; third, offer yourself compassion for the emotions and pain experienced; and fourth, extend compassion to the other person to understand their suffering. This helps to process buried emotions, heal old wounds, and gain a broader perspective.
4. Mindful Listening in Polarization
When facing polarized situations, first pause to calm yourself and create spaciousness. Then, bring to mind something triggering, but instead of dwelling on it, focus on something that brings you joy. After settling, extend this settled state to the other person or situation, visualizing positive aspects to reduce separation and foster understanding from a place of depth and love.
5. Mindful Engagement with Devices
Before interacting with your electronic devices, pause to feel the device’s weight and notice your body, rather than immediately getting pulled into its content. Reflect on your motivations (e.g., boredom, loneliness, escape) and decide if you want to feed those drives. When you do engage, try to do only one intended task slowly and intentionally to reclaim your attention from habit energy and external pushes.
6. Journal for Clarity and Discernment
Dedicate a few minutes (e.g., 3-5 minutes, several times a week) to mindful writing. You can start by reading something inspiring, then ask yourself: “What am I feeling? What’s coming up for me? How do I really want to be on this day?” This practice helps alleviate suffering, develop inner authority, connect with your feelings, and set an intentional direction for your day.
7. Meditate on Loving Your Skin
Reflect on the physical reality of your skin, appreciating its intelligence and healing capacity. Then, acknowledge messages received about your skin (e.g., color, texture) from society and ancestors, holding any associated emotions with compassion. Claim the truth that your skin is beautiful and nothing is inferior about it, honoring ancestral endurance and feeling fully at ease in your own body from within.
8. Cultivate Inner Solidity and Confidence
Develop an innate sense of inner okayness, solidity, love, and self-confidence by reclaiming and excavating your capacity for wisdom, pausing, and seeing things clearly. This practice helps you take up space, remember your purpose, and navigate systems that may cast doubt, rather than sabotaging yourself with unearned confidence.