← 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Sharon Salzberg

Apr 13, 2016 55m 44s 11 insights
A towering figure in the meditation world, Sharon Salzberg is part of a small group of people who helped bring meditation over from Asia to the United States. Growing up in New York City, Salzberg had a traumatic childhood and was a sophomore in college when an Asian philosophy class she chose sort of on a whim led her to find a personal and positive connection with Buddhist teachings and practices. Today, she is a meditation teacher, the cofounder of Insight Meditation Society and the author of nine books, including best-sellers "Lovingkindness," "Real Happiness" and "Real Happiness at Work." Salzberg sat down with Dan Harris to talk about her personal history, her meditation practice and her advice to beginners looking to start practicing.
Actionable Insights

1. Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation

Systematically repeat phrases like ‘may I be happy, may you be happy’ directed at specific beings, moving through them until all beings are included. This practice boosts compassion, reduces stress, improves social interaction, and dissolves rigid self-other constructs, leading to greater effectiveness and resilience.

2. Practice Mindfulness Meditation

Stabilize attention on the breath, and when the mind wanders, gently return. With stabilized attention, non-judgmentally observe body sensations, emotions, and thoughts to differentiate actual experience from mental proliferation.

3. Adopt ‘Good Enough Parent’ Stance

Approach your own pain and experiences by neither being invasive nor rejecting, but rather holding the pain with openness. This mindful stance helps develop tools for processing personal suffering and extending compassion to others.

4. Avoid Hatred and Resentment

Actively choose not to harbor hatred or resentment towards yourself or others (‘don’t be hatin’). This practice is described as liberating, making you more effective, and preventing the draining and damaging effects of negative emotions.

5. Process Surging Emotions

When strong emotions arise, feel them in your body rather than getting caught in the content or grievance. Pivot attention to the raw feeling, identify mental ‘add-ons,’ deconstruct the emotion to see underlying feelings, and observe its constantly changing nature.

6. Commit to Short Daily Meditation

Establish a reasonable meditation commitment, such as five to ten minutes a day for a defined short period (e.g., two weeks or a month). This approach is more sustainable than aiming for long sessions and allows you to assess the practice’s impact on your life.

7. Create Meditation Accountability System

Form a small support group or system where you check in daily after meditating. This provides community support and a reminder to maintain your practice consistently.

8. Reframe ‘Busy Mind’ for Meditation

Understand that the goal of meditation is not to eliminate thoughts, but to change your relationship with them. Even with a torrent of thoughts, you can settle on the breath and develop space towards your thoughts, making meditation accessible to everyone.

9. Cultivate Faith Through Experimentation

Approach meditation with a sense of possibility or intrigue and commit to a period of wholehearted experimentation. This allows you to build faith based on your own discernment and experience whether the practice makes a difference in your life.

10. Seek Compassionate Role Models

Identify and learn from teachers or role models who have navigated suffering with compassion and attentiveness. Their example can help reestablish a sense of relatedness and provide a model for personal growth.

11. Prioritize Continuous Learning (Teachers)

For those teaching meditation, commit to ongoing learning, personal practice, and community engagement. This ensures quality, prevents stagnation, and maintains a student mindset, recognizing that one is never ‘done learning’.