Drop personal anger over past harms, even if the act is not justified or the person is shunned, because holding onto anger is counterproductive and harms your own well-being, leading to psychological and physical benefits.
Prioritize fundamental healthy habits like sleep, exercise, and mindful eating, especially during stressful times, as they significantly impact mental health and can be as effective as some anti-depression medications.
Regularly list three to five things you are grateful for, as this simple practice can significantly improve life satisfaction, boost willpower, and foster pro-social emotions, making you more likely to connect with others and make healthier choices.
Make a wish list of short, productive activities (e.g., a 5-minute meditation, texting a friend) to use small, unexpected pockets of free time, rather than defaulting to low-value activities like checking email or social media, to enhance well-being and feel more accomplished.
Consciously acknowledge and appreciate the time saved by conveniences (e.g., takeout, cleaning services) by framing them as hours gained, which can create a subjective sense of time affluence and reduce feelings of being time-famished.
Actively pay attention to which social connections and interactions genuinely energize and uplift you, rather than just being easy or habitual, and then intentionally build more of those ’nutritious’ interactions into your life.
Take time to acknowledge and process feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration about difficult circumstances or missed traditions, rather than rushing to normalize or deny them, as this allows for healthy emotional processing.
For conversations across significant belief differences, start by asking the other person to share a personal narrative about a time they experienced fear or worry, then connect your own concerns to those shared feelings to foster empathy and soften their stance.
When discussing sensitive topics, especially with family, frame your concerns using ‘I’ statements (e.g., ‘I am worried,’ ‘I feel concerned’) to express your feelings and motivations, rather than lecturing or telling others what they should do, which fosters better reception.
Explain difficult decisions, such as canceling holiday plans, by emphasizing compassion, care, and concern for the health and safety of others, as this motive is often universally understood and respected.
When delivering bad news or canceling plans, always offer a specific alternative, such as a ‘rain check’ for a future in-person visit or a virtual gathering, to maintain connection and soften the impact.
Use the RAIN (Recognize, Accept/Allow, Investigate, Nurture/Non-identification) meditation technique to process difficult emotions like frustration and sadness, allowing you to be present with them without being overwhelmed.
Initiate conversations about COVID-related boundaries and expectations with family members well in advance of gatherings, as people generally react better to early communication than last-minute cancellations.
If you are not part of a marginalized group, take on the challenging work of bridging political or social divides through empathetic conversation, recognizing that this exhausting labor should not disproportionately fall on those most harmed by extreme views.
Embrace a ‘beginner’s mind’ or ‘don’t-know mind’ when encountering diverse viewpoints, allowing for openness and the possibility of shifting your perspective on current events, while remaining grounded in core values.
Actively seek to recognize shared core values and common humanity with others, even those with differing views, as fostering this connection contributes to personal well-being and societal hope.
Adopt the mantra ’love no matter what’ as an aspirational practice to see the good in others, even amidst disagreements, which can relieve the personal burden of anger and hatred.
Combat pandemic fatigue by regularly reminding yourself of the severe realities and human cost of COVID-19, potentially by reading accounts from frontline healthcare workers, to reinforce the importance of vigilance.
Maintain motivation and adherence to safety protocols by focusing on ‘glimmers of hope,’ such as vaccine developments, and the prospect of a return to more normal circumstances in the near future.
Initiate a meditation habit by doing it alongside a friend or family member, which can provide support and shared motivation.
Take the free online course ‘The Science of Wellbeing’ on Coursera.org to learn evidence-based practices for improving mental health and happiness.
Tune into ‘The Happiness Lab’ podcast for science-based strategies on navigating difficult times and improving well-being.
Engage with Laurie Santos on Twitter (@Laurie_Santos) for insights, balancing ‘doom posting’ with ‘hope posting’ for a beneficial experience.
Submit questions or reflections via voicemail (646-883-8326 by Dec 7) to be answered during the 10% Happier podcast’s New Year’s series on self-love and operationalizing happiness.
Participate in the New Year’s meditation challenge on the 10% Happier app for guided meditations and community engagement.
Download the new ‘10% with Dan Harris’ app for a library of guided meditations, live community sessions, and ad-free podcast episodes, with a 14-day trial available.