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Sebene Selassie, A Life of Service While Fighting Breast Cancer

Oct 19, 2016 1h 1m 21 insights
Sebene Selassie's career has taken her all over the world. An Ethiopian immigrant, Selassie grew up in the Washington, D.C., area. Her father left her family in the '70s to go back to Ethiopia and became a guerrilla fighter in the Eritrean independence movement. Her brother became a "Hare Krishna" devotee. Selassie, however, found meditation, and started practicing in high school. She studied Comparative Religious studies at McGill University and went on to work with not-for-profits in international development, including in refugee camps in Guinea. She was a self-professed "really bad dharma student," until she was diagnosed with stage-three breast cancer at age 34. Then she says she became "a really good dharma student." Selassie has now survived breast cancer three times and works as a meditation teacher and transformational coach in New York City.
Actionable Insights

1. Embrace Life’s Dualities

Reflect on the Eight Worldly Winds (pleasure/pain, gain/loss, fame/disrepute, praise/blame) to recognize the tendency to desire one side and resist the other, fostering acceptance of life’s inherent ups and downs.

2. Shift “Why Me?” Mindset

When facing adversity or suffering, consciously shift your mindset from “why me?” to “why not me?” to cultivate a sense of universal experience and reduce self-pity.

3. Cultivate Joy Beyond Happiness

Understand that “joy is whatever is happening minus our opinion of it,” distinguishing it from fleeting happiness. Practice observing experiences without judgment to find freedom regardless of circumstances.

4. Tolerate Unpleasant Experiences

Actively practice tolerating unpleasant experiences, as this builds resilience and fosters a realistic outlook on life, rather than constantly seeking only pleasant sensations.

5. Practice Non-Identification with Body

Cultivate a deeper connection with the body while simultaneously practicing non-identification, recognizing its impermanence and interconnectedness, to reduce personal suffering from physical experiences.

6. Reflect on Five Daily Recollections

Regularly reflect on the Five Daily Recollections (I will age, grow ill, die; I will lose all that is dear; I am subject to karma) to acknowledge impermanence and foster a realistic, grounded perspective on life.

7. Deepen Practice During Illness

During serious illness or challenging times, deepen your meditation practice, attend retreats if possible, and prioritize comprehensive self-care, including healthy eating and reducing overall life stress.

8. Use Meditation for Emotional Tools

Employ meditation to develop tools for recognizing and addressing challenging mental states like fear, panic, and “what if” thought spirals, helping you stay present with sensations.

9. Practice Metta (Loving-Kindness)

Practice Metta (loving-kindness) meditation, starting by sending wishes of well-being to yourself for an extended period to cultivate self-compassion and concentration.

10. Anchor to Body in Meditation

Begin meditation by focusing on the breath, then expand awareness to body sensations. When the mind is scattered or “future tripping,” anchor your awareness to the body to stay in the present moment.

11. Practice Open Awareness

Practice open awareness meditation by being mindfully aware of whatever arises in perception (thoughts, sensations, sounds), and strive to carry this awareness into your daily life.

12. Cultivate Gratitude and Perspective

Actively cultivate appreciation and gratitude for available support and resources during difficult times, and study the broader teachings of the Dharma to integrate gratitude and perspective into your life.

13. Examine Unconscious Biases

Actively examine your own unconscious biases related to race, gender, size, and other identities, recognizing these as prime subjects for mindful inquiry and self-awareness.

14. Avoid Spiritual Bypassing

Consciously engage with and process negative emotions like anger, depression, and rage, rather than prematurely transcending or repressing them through spiritual bypassing.

15. Address Cultural Spiritual Bypassing

Recognize and address cultural spiritual bypassing by confronting uncomfortable cultural biases and stereotypes (e.g., racial tension) rather than avoiding them with generalized concepts of oneness or loving-kindness.

16. Talk About Difficult Social Issues

Engage in open conversations about challenging social issues like race, sexism, gender, sexuality, and body image (e.g., fatphobia) to educate yourself and foster awareness.

17. Catch and Replace Stereotypes

Use meditation to develop the ability to catch biases and stereotypes as they arise in your mind in real-time. When noticed, consciously replace them with alternative, positive possibilities.

18. Observe Biases Without Self-Condemnation

When observing your own biases, avoid self-condemnation; simply acknowledge their presence without judgment to make the process of addressing them more sustainable.

19. Explore Different Meditation Approaches

If a meditation center or practice feels too strict, anonymous, or doesn’t resonate, explore other entry points, communities, or experiment with different practices to find what works for you.

20. Teach Dharma in Vernacular

To make spiritual teachings more accessible, communicate them in a vernacular that resonates with specific communities, and support the creation of affinity groups where teachings can be tailored to relevant experiences.

21. Challenge Cultural Practice Assumptions

Question and challenge culturally constructed aspects of spiritual practice (like the emphasis on silence in Western meditation) to ensure inclusivity and broader appeal to diverse groups.