A trustworthy spiritual teacher prioritizes being of service to you; if they primarily seek your money, attention, or other personal gain, consider it a yellow or red flag.
Run away from spiritual teachers who cannot admit fault, say ‘I’m sorry,’ or acknowledge mistakes, as this indicates a critical lack of humility and potential for abuse.
Be highly cautious of spiritual teachers or groups that demand excessive money, isolate their community, use exclusive jargon, require sacrifices detrimental to your health, or demand strict obedience.
When choosing a spiritual teacher, observe their lifestyle and the character of their long-term students, as these are strong indicators of their true influence and the value of their teachings.
Do not rush into a deep commitment with a spiritual teacher; observe them over several months to discern if the value they offer is genuine and sustainable, similar to a serious relationship.
Use the internet to Google potential spiritual teachers or leaders. Trust recurring comments or patterns of feedback from multiple sources, as this collective wisdom can be a reliable indicator.
Look for a spiritual teacher who possesses a sense of humor about themselves, as this trait often indicates humility and a healthy, grounded perspective.
Do not follow any teaching solely because a person said it or it’s in a book; question it, test it against your own experience, and only adopt what is demonstrated to be wholesome for you.
Understand that a spiritual teacher’s primary role is to help you become more human, wise up, grow up, and open up, not to solve your personal life decisions like job choices or relationship issues.
Accept that even highly wise individuals can exhibit foolish or contradictory behavior simultaneously, and avoid assuming wisdom in one area guarantees impeccable conduct in all others.
Identify the ‘cue, routine, reward’ cycle of unfulfilling habits (e.g., boredom leading to phone use) and substitute the routine with a beneficial activity like meditation for a more fulfilling reward.
Regularly assess your indulgences to determine if they genuinely bring happiness or contribute to ‘voluntary misery’; if an indulgence makes you miserable, consider stopping it.
Use frameworks like Gretchen Rubin’s ‘The Four Tendencies’ to classify your habit formation style, then apply tailored tips for yourself and your children to instill healthy habits.
Practice meditation not just for utilitarian benefits like stress reduction, but also for the intrinsic joy of existence and the deeper, non-verbal experiences that emerge over time.
Make meditation a consistent, almost daily part of your life, allowing it to become a natural way of being rather than a separate, intense endeavor.
Practice a daily acknowledgement that you are not in control, that every moment is fresh and new, and that you need the help of the entire universe; this fosters presence and acceptance.
Recognize that personal growth and positive behavioral changes are often the result of multiple factors, such as maturation, meditation, and supportive relationships.
Select a life partner who encourages and inspires you to be your best self, as this relationship can significantly contribute to your personal growth and well-being.
Consider trying meditation if you experience high energy, nervousness, stress, or anxiety, as it might feel intuitively right and help alleviate these feelings.
Understand that enlightenment is not a fixed, permanent state but a dynamic experience where profound insights can be followed by ‘slipping back’; this perspective helps manage expectations.