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Sara Bareilles: Anxiety, Anger, and Art

Jun 14, 2021 1h 22 insights
<p>Taming Anxiety Series - Episode 1: Today is a big day here on the podcast, both because we have a fantastic new episode, and because this episode is actually kicking off a series we have been wanting to produce for a long time, called "Taming Anxiety."   Anxiety is a massive issue in our society. Even before the pandemic, it was on the rise. Now, the situation is even worse. Chances are it has afflicted you or someone you love at some point, on some level: maybe you've received an actual diagnosis, like generalized anxiety disorder, or maybe you're prone to symptoms closer to panic, or perhaps you're just susceptible to a bit too much garden-variety worrying. Maybe your kids are increasingly anxious. Or maybe, like me, you've got a few different items on the menu–some low-level professional freakouts here, some panic attacks in elevators (or on live TV) over there…   Anyway, the bad news is that anxiety is unlikely to disappear overnight. But the good news is that you can change your relationship to it. Hence this two week series we're launching today. We've got two episodes with scientists and one episode with a meditation expert on deck to help you learn to tame your anxiety. And we've even got a free meditation challenge over in the Ten Percent Happier app to help you bring these lessons into your practice.   But before we get to that, let me introduce today's guest. We're kicking things off with a personal story. Sara Bareilles is a fearsome polymath: a singer, songwriter, composer, actor… the list goes on. She earned Tony and Grammy Award nominations for the Broadway musical Waitress, she's got a new album out called Amidst the Chaos: Live from the Hollywood Bowl, and she stars in the new Tina Fey-produced series Girls5eva, which is streaming right now on Peacock.    Behind all this artistic and professional success is a meditator who is deliberately open and public about her struggles with anxiety and depression. In this conversation, she talks about: her history of anxiety and depression; the relationship between suffering and art, and whether meditation might defang someone's creativity; how she works with anger; her relationship to social media; and we get an intimate glimpse into the back-stories behind some of her hit songs.   This is the first episode in our new "Taming Anxiety" series, and there will be an accompanying meditation challenge over in the Ten Percent Happier app. It's also called "Taming Anxiety," and it launches next week, on Monday, June 21st. The idea here is that you will be able to use the challenge to integrate everything you've learned in the podcast series into your neurons.    Join the Taming Anxiety Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account. If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/TamingAnxietyChallenge.    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sara-bareilles-355</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Start a Meditation Practice

Begin a meditation practice, using resources like the 10% Happier app, to sit with and get to know difficult emotions rather than distracting from them, which can be particularly helpful during challenging times.

2. Join Taming Anxiety Challenge

Join the free 10-day ‘Taming Anxiety’ meditation challenge on the 10% Happier app (or 10percent.com) to learn tools for dealing with anxious thoughts and emotions through daily videos and guided meditations.

3. Engage in Talk Therapy

Start or continue talk therapy as a self-care routine, as the act of articulating one’s internal state can be a light bulb moment and helpful for healing, even with a less-than-ideal therapist.

4. Articulate Your Inner State

Express your internal state without apology, whether through journaling, conversation, or therapy, as articulating what’s happening can be a crucial step towards healing and self-understanding.

5. Cultivate Self-Compassion

View your own ‘stuff,’ including unskillful moments or perceived ‘ugliness,’ with a sense of humor and warmth, practicing self-compassion instead of self-punishment, and committing to doing better next time.

6. Embrace a ‘Good-ish’ Identity

Relabel yourself as ‘good-ish’ rather than strictly ‘good’ to create elasticity and flexibility in your self-identity, allowing you to acknowledge unskillful or negative behaviors without threatening your core sense of self.

7. Be Your Own Friend

Practice extending the same forgiveness and generosity you offer to loved ones to yourself, treating yourself as your own friend to foster self-acceptance and progress.

8. Create a Dedicated Meditation Space

Carve out a specific, intentional space for your meditation practice, even if it’s a small corner, and make it the first thing you do every morning to help set the day and maintain consistency.

9. Integrate Meditation Throughout Day

Don’t limit meditation to a single session; use it as a tool to return to throughout the day, whether guided or unguided, when you feel ‘jagged’ or overwhelmed, to touch a space of calm more often.

10. Practice Letting Go of Control

Engage with the simplicity of the breath through meditation to become more in touch with what is out of your control, which can be helpful for those who tend to be control freaks, allowing you to let go.

11. Communicate Unexpressed Desires

Recognize that anxiety can often be attached to unexpressed desires, wishes, or resentments, and work on communicating these feelings to address the root cause of your anxiety.

12. Explore Underlying Causes of Anger

Recognize that anger is often a secondary emotion, frequently covering up deeper feelings like fear, and explore what lies beneath your anger to move beyond being stuck in its ‘whirlpool’ towards a more powerful place to work from.

13. Allow Others Their Discomfort

When someone you care about is in pain, allow them the dignity of their own discomfort rather than immediately trying to fix their problem, as sometimes the most helpful action is simply to be present and allow them to experience their pain.

14. Make Space for Creativity

Make space for creativity, as turning down habitual rumination through practices like meditation can allow for a flood of new ideas and clearer inner workings, even if the outcome is unpredictable.

15. Keep the Creative Channel Open

As an artist, keep your creative channel open and avoid judging what comes through, continuing to pursue the ‘blessed unrest’ towards the next idea.

16. Remain Open in Creative Work

Approach creative work with an open mindset, recognizing that artists often channel something larger than themselves, and avoid becoming overly proprietary about your creations, as they are part of a greater network.

17. Engage in Meaningful Activism

Participate in activism on issues you care about, but ensure your engagement is meaningful and authentic rather than feeling pressured to post or speak out constantly, as this can be a mitigating factor for anxiety.

18. Embrace Learning and Mistakes

Be open and available to learning, even if it means making mistakes, rather than being crippled by the fear of offending someone or saying the wrong thing, as learning often involves missteps.

19. Share Your Struggles to Help Others

Be open and honest about your interior life, including struggles with anxiety, depression, or other vulnerabilities, to help others realize they are not alone and to foster a sense of shared humanity.

20. Avoid Reactive Anger on Social Media

Resist the urge to express anger reactively on social media, even if it garners positive reinforcement, as such ‘outpourings of ugliness’ can be regretted later and do not ‘feed the right wolf’.

21. Seek Positive Social Media Content

When feeling low, gravitate towards social media accounts that share lighthearted animal videos (like Tony Baker’s) or focus on good news (like ’the good news movement’) to boost your mood and see the best of humanity.

22. Empower Young Women’s Voices

Encourage young women to ’turn up the volume of their voice,’ take up space, and express their needs, wishes, and desires without apology, challenging the socialization that teaches them to be people-pleasers.