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Run Towards the Danger | Sarah Polley

Jul 11, 2022 1h 4m 27 insights
<p>Often, when you're afraid of something, the best advice is deeply counterintuitive, not to mention inconvenient: to turn toward the source of your fear.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today we're going to talk about the fear of confronting your own past with our guest Sarah Polley. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Polley is an Oscar nominated filmmaker and actress who recently wrote a new book, called <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/688129/run-towards-the-danger/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Run Towards the Danger: Confrontations with a Body of Memory</em></a>. In her book, she explores the relationship between her past and present and how the two are in constant dialogue. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about: </p> <ul> <li>The story of her concussion and the unusual advice she got from a specialist that became not just a path to recovery, but a sort of personal credo, "run toward the danger"</li> <li>What we often do with our stories of childhood shame, and the immense power of talking about it</li> <li>How she has come to stop seeing her anxiety as a stop sign</li> <li>Her argument that the advice to "listen to your body" is not always the best advice</li> <li>The liberating potential of intentionally making uncharacteristic decisions</li> <li>Her path to meditation and her current practice</li> <li>And the limits of her own "run towards the danger" mantra</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sarah-polley-475" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sarah-polley-475</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Adopt “Run Toward Danger”

Adopt ‘run toward the danger’ as a personal credo, meaning to confront the most challenging stories or situations in your life directly, as it can be transformative.

2. Confront Your Past Squarely

Instead of engaging in compartmentalization and denial or stuffing anger and shame, do the hard work of looking at your past squarely to process difficult experiences.

3. Interrogate Body Signals

Don’t just accept all thoughts and signals from your body; interrogate them to discern if something is truly wrong or if anxiety is present that should be walked alongside rather than letting it shut you down.

4. Make Uncharacteristic Decisions

Intentionally make decisions that are uncharacteristic of your fixed idea of self or identity to create amazing opportunities for change and personal transformation.

5. Process Hard Emotions Fully

Before attempting positive reframing, allow yourself to be sad and angry for a long time, unpacking and untangling the details of difficult experiences to avoid piling up resentment.

6. Talk About Childhood Shame

Recognize the immense power of talking about stories of childhood shame, as sharing them can be a massive relief and lighten the burden of secrecy.

7. Continuously Expose to Fears

Continuously expose yourself to the things that freak you out, as this method has a lot of evidence to back it up and definitely helps in dealing with fears like claustrophobia.

8. Adapt to Current Reality

Be flexible with personal mantras like ‘run toward the danger,’ adapting them to your current reality; sometimes, running toward the danger means allowing rest and recovery when your body genuinely needs it.

9. Relate to Past with Friendliness

Relate to your past, even the stickiest, ugliest parts, with friendliness, rather than being at war with what has happened, allowing for a new relationship with your stories.

10. Prioritize Human Connection

Make time for connection with close friends, even when busy, as it makes a significant difference in mental health and well-being.

11. Meditate Daily

Practice meditation daily, as it can become necessary for mental health and preventing oneself from becoming a ‘completely reactive ball of God knows what.’

12. Observe Past Influences

When past experiences dictate present behavior, get curious and interested in those influences rather than letting them uncritically guide the situation.

13. Form New Story Relationships

Work towards having new, more complex, and ultimately more interesting relationships with your past stories and memories, rather than them remaining static and hard.

14. Practice Being a Good Friend

Recognize that being a good friend, someone others can rely on, trust, and connect with, is a skill that has to be practiced and worked at.

15. Practice Walking Meditation

Incorporate walking meditation, either formally (slowly, focusing on each footfall) or informally (walking at a normal pace with open awareness), especially when too tired for seated meditation.

16. Concussion Recovery Exposure

For concussion recovery, under a doctor’s specific plan, gradually reintroduce stimulating activities like grocery stores, screen time, multitasking, and vigorous exercise to strengthen the brain.

17. Focus on Recovery, Not Symptoms

For certain conditions like concussion, stop meticulously tracking symptoms and instead pay attention to your recovery times, as over-focusing on symptoms can be unhelpful.

18. Grapple with Discomfort’s Source

When something doesn’t feel right, grapple with whether it’s genuinely not right or if it’s anxiety that should be walked alongside rather than letting it shut you down.

19. Do What Makes You Nervous

Actively engage in activities that make you nervous, such as highway driving, preparing a film, or writing a book, to prevent weakening through avoidance.

20. Anxiety as Starting Gun

Instead of viewing anxiety as a stop sign, try to see it sometimes as a starting gun, especially when it’s dictating behavior that prevents you from moving forward.

21. Avoid Negative Body Feedback

Be aware of and avoid negative feedback loops where your body’s initial discomfort is confirmed by your brain, reinforcing a belief that you cannot do something, which can prevent progress.

22. Process Past Losses for New Roles

To fully assume new roles or responsibilities, such as motherhood, deal with past losses and what they have left you with, as this processing is essential for growth.

23. Allow Periods of Cocooning

Give yourself permission for periods of ‘cocooning’ or removing anxiety triggers if needed, and judge yourself less for those times.

24. Avoid Fixed Self-Identity

Embrace the fun and liberation of not having a fixed idea of self or identity, especially regarding what you believe you can’t do or what you’re not like.

25. Embrace Continuous Self-Correction

Commit to personal development with the understanding that it involves continuously realizing past mistakes and evolving, rather than reaching a fixed state of perfection.

26. Have Hard Talks, Do Scary Things

Generally, it’s beneficial to have hard conversations and do the things you want but are afraid of, as this can lead to growth.

27. Use Guided Meditations

Access guided meditations to help with specific issues such as stress, anxiety, sleep, focus, self-compassion, and dealing with annoying people.