<p dir="ltr">Buddhist strategies for taming that nagging voice in your head.</p> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://bornimusic.com/">Ofosu Jones-Quartey</a>, a meditation teacher, author, and musician hailing from the Washington DC area, brings over 17 years of experience in sharing mindfulness, meditation and self-compassion practices with the world. Holding a bachelor's degree from American University and certified by the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, Ofosu is a graduate of the Teleos Coaching Institute and is the male voice on the Balance meditation app, reaching over 10 million subscribers. </p> <p dir="ltr">Ofosu leads meditation classes and retreats nationwide, having taught and led retreats at the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, The Insight Meditation Society, Spirit Rock, Brooklyn Zen Center, Cleveland Insight, Inward Bound Mindfulness and more.<br /> <br /> As an accomplished hip hop artist under the name "Born I," Ofosu released the mindfulness-themed album "In This Moment" in 2021. Born I's most recent album, "Komorebi" (2025), has been hailed by listeners as "a missing piece in hip-hop," praised for its meditative flow and spiritual depth. The companion book, "Lyrical Dharma: Hip-Hop as Mindfulness" (Parallax Press), arrives with a foreword by Pulitzer Prize winner Alice Walker, further cementing Born I as a unique voice at the intersection of art and contemplative practice.<br /> <br /> Beyond music, Ofosu is an author, releasing his self-published children's book "You Are Enough" in 2020 and "Love Your Amazing Self" via Storey Publishing in 2022. He lives in Rockville, Maryland, with his wife and four children.<br /> <br /></p> <p dir="ltr">In this episode we talk about:</p> <ul> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">The relationship between self-compassion and a successful meditation practice</p> </li> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">All the reasons people resist self-compassion, and his rebuttals</p> </li> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">Whether self-compassion is selfish</p> </li> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">How to do self-compassion off the cushion, including practices like journaling, written reminders, establishing accountability partners, and simple questions you can drop into your mind when all else fails</p> </li> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">How to do self-compassion on the cushion, including practices like body scans, metta, and a check-in practice you can use at the very start of your sits</p> </li> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">And how to teach self-compassion to children</p> </li> </ul> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">This episode was first aired in April 2024.</p> <p dir="ltr">Related Episodes:</p> <ul> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/danharris/p/think-you-suck-at-meditation-this?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web"> Think You Suck at Meditation? This Conversation Could Help. | Ofosu Jones-Quartey</a></p> </li> </ul> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Get the 10% with Dan Harris app <a href="https://app.danharris.com/membership">here</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Sign up for Dan's free newsletter <a href="http://www.danharris.com/">here</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Follow Dan on social: <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J">TikTok</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Subscribe to our <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD">YouTube Channel</a></p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit <a href="https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris">https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris</a></p> <p> </p>
Actionable Insights
1. Treat Yourself as a Friend
Develop a relationship with yourself akin to one with a best friend or loved one by checking in on your mental, emotional, and physical state, then responding with the same care and words you would offer them.
2. Monitor Your Inner Dialogue
Become aware of your constant inner talk and critically examine if the way you speak to yourself is kind, recognizing that many people use harsher words on themselves than they would on their worst enemy.
3. Question Harsh Self-Talk
When you notice your inner critic’s volume is high, pause and ask yourself, ‘What if I wasn’t so hard on myself right now?’ or ‘Is this really true?’ to offer a kinder, more supportive approach.
4. Self-Compassion Fuels Goals
Understand that self-compassion is not self-delusion but the fuel to maintain your ’edge’ and achieve goals more effectively, providing positive reinforcement and preventing burnout, even during uncomfortable but beneficial activities.
5. Heal Suffering for All
Recognize that addressing your own suffering with loving kindness is not selfish, but an act that heals your personal legacy and contributes to a safer, more habitable world for others, linking your inner well-being to your outer behavior.
6. Start with Basic Self-Kindness
Begin by talking to yourself with a little more kindness, even giving yourself a pat on the back for basic actions like getting out of bed, to overcome initial awkwardness and build positive self-reinforcement.
7. Journal for Self-Support
Engage in journaling, especially when facing challenges, by writing short letters to yourself that acknowledge your efforts and struggles, offering support and serving as your own witness.
8. Post Affirmation Reminders
Place written affirmations or reminders in visible spots, like a bathroom mirror or refrigerator, to interrupt negative thought patterns and create moments of grace and gratitude, counteracting the mind’s negativity bias.
9. Get a Self-Compassion Partner
Find a trusted friend or loved one to be an accountability partner, checking in with each other periodically about your self-talk and self-compassion practice to leverage community support and sustain the habit.
10. Perform Gratitude Body Scan
During meditation, systematically move your awareness through your body, noticing sensations, appreciating the work each region does, giving it permission to relax, and offering a mental ’thank you’ to foster a better relationship with your physical self.
11. Personalize Loving Kindness
Incorporate loving kindness meditation by visualizing yourself as a small child or your current self, and offering specific words of kindness and reassurance tailored to your immediate needs, rather than generic phrases.
12. Daily Mind-Body-Emotion Check-in
Before meditation, conduct a brief check-in on your mental, physical, and emotional state, then imagine a loved one feeling the same way and extend the same words and heartfelt care to yourself.
13. Teach Kids Friend-Talk Inquiry
When children express self-criticism or face challenges, ask them, ‘How would you treat a friend who was going through the same thing?’ to plant seeds of self-compassion and suggest a kinder inner dialogue.
14. Universalize Your Suffering
When experiencing suffering, consider it a universal human condition by imagining all beings who have experienced or will experience similar suffering, which can open the heart and reduce feelings of isolation.
15. Heal Suffering’s Root Causes
Use self-compassion to address the underlying causes of your suffering, acknowledging past unskillful actions without self-indictment, and offering love and understanding to your ‘inner child’ to heal and reconcile internal issues.
16. Self-Compassion for Liberation
View self-compassion as a skillful means for liberation, not ego reinforcement, by clarifying your relationship with yourself, healing internal injuries, and bringing ‘shadow’ aspects into light, enabling you to let go of the sticky self and connect with ultimate reality.