Re-evaluate your definition of success beyond just money and power to include relationships and community, as these are critical skills for health, happiness, and overall success.
Actively prioritize building and maintaining strong relationships, as data suggests they are the number one lever for a happy and long life, and they bring ease to other well-being practices like exercise and mental health.
Recognize and embrace your inherent interdependence as a human being, challenging the societal ideal of independence, which is fundamentally antithetical to our biological nature and can lead to isolation.
Push yourself to ask for help, even when it feels uncomfortable or like a sign of weakness, because it benefits both you and those who offer support, and it is a vital part of being in a connected community.
Focus on developing ‘you skills’ such as communication, collaboration, and compassion, as these character skills are increasingly important for success in the workplace and in life, often more so than cognitive skills.
Shift your mindset from strict reciprocity (equal exchange) to mutuality in community, where everyone contributes according to their capability, understanding that the well-being of each individual benefits the entire group.
Give yourself and others a lot of grace when building and maintaining relationships, acknowledging that it’s inherently difficult in modern society and requires vigilant tending, rather than feeling like a failure.
View resentment as valuable information indicating that a boundary has been crossed, prompting you to reassess your contributions or set new boundaries in a relationship.
When someone says ’no’ to a request, receive it with gratitude, understanding it as information about their capacity or boundaries, not a personal rejection, and that it encourages them to set healthy limits.
Recognize that allowing others to help you is a gift to them, providing a sense of purpose and connection that is beautiful and nurturing for the givers.
Challenge the societal ideal of ‘bootstrapping’ or ‘going it alone,’ viewing extreme independence as potentially a form of self-hatred that isolates you from necessary support and community.
Reclaim the organic and human practice of building relationships by shedding assumptions that help is transactional and recognizing that deep connection is an inherent part of being a person.
Practice freedom as a collective act by actively engaging in connected community, working on both internal resistances and external actions to foster shared well-being.
Actively create your own ‘micro infrastructures of support’ within your community, recognizing that this is part of a larger, generational effort to foster well-being despite systemic challenges.
Organize a ‘KidFun’ system with other families, where children rotate houses for childcare, allowing parents free time while also fostering stronger relationships among the children and between children and other adults.
Make an effort to get to know your neighbors, perhaps by welcoming new ones with a small gesture like a note and contact information, as this can be the start of a supportive community network.
Be open and ’tell on yourself’ to people in your life by explicitly communicating your needs and desires for deeper connection or personal growth, inviting them to discuss how to achieve it together.
Engage in internal questioning to understand your personal capacity for relationships, what you truly need from them, and what types of relationships can best fulfill those needs.
Give yourself spaciousness and patience when building new relationships, understanding that finding your ‘people’ and developing deep connections takes time and consistent effort.