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Patrick Dempsey, Meditation: The Secret to His Success

Aug 7, 2019 1h 9m 45 insights
Patrick Dempsey is not just a pretty face. Sure he's widely known for playing McDreamy, aka Dr. Derek Shepherd, on ABC's Grey's Anatomy, but that hardly scratches the surface. A meditator since the 1980's, he's used the practice to find the right state of mind for both his acting and professional race car driving. He's even traveled to India to further his practice. His mental training proved valuable during his mother's battle with ovarian cancer, and he has since been inspired to start the Dempsey Center, which "makes life better for people managing the impact of cancer." In this enlightening conversation, he explains how mindfulness is a driving force in every aspect of his life. Plug Zone The Dempsey Center: https://www.dempseycenter.org/ The Dempsey Challenge: https://www.dempseycenter.org/dempsey-challenge/ ***VOICEMAILS*** Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Core Buddhist Skills

Cultivate the three Buddhist skills of mindfulness, compassion, and wisdom to reduce suffering and improve well-being. Mindfulness helps you observe inner processes, compassion feels good and enhances practice, and wisdom helps you accept impermanence.

2. Practice Daily Mindfulness

Practice daily mindfulness by being present in the moment and returning to your breath when distracted, even without formal sitting meditation, as this centers you and keeps you focused.

3. Prioritize Foundational Self-Care

Prioritize fundamental self-care practices like adequate sleep, exercise, a healthy diet, and meditation to maintain a baseline level of health and prevent panic or anxiety.

4. Manage Nerves with Breath

Manage nerves and anxiety by focusing on your breath and observing thoughts without getting carried away, as breathing is the key to centering yourself.

5. Channel Nervous Energy

Channel nervous energy into focused performance by using visualization and calming your breath before high-pressure events.

6. Reduce External Stimulation

Reduce external stimulation, especially from phones and social media, to avoid being pulled out of the present moment and improve focus.

7. Avoid Negative Actions

Avoid acting inappropriately or being a ‘jerk’ because negative actions immediately affect your own well-being, take you out of the moment, and hinder performance.

8. Engage with Others Mindfully

Engage with others, even when busy, as a ritual to stay present and prepare mentally for demanding tasks, avoiding negative feelings that can arise from disengagement.

9. Shift Attention from Anxiety

To manage anxiety, intentionally shift attention towards an area of the body that feels at ease, or towards a calming external view, to interrupt the mind’s self-reinforcing negative tendencies.

10. Focus on ‘Awareness Itself’

In daily life, focus on cultivating ‘awareness’ itself, rather than just the objects of awareness (like breath), by asking ‘Am I aware?’ or ‘What am I aware of?’ to strengthen this skill.

11. Integrate Body Mindfulness Daily

To integrate retreat lessons, practice light awareness of body sensations throughout daily activities (e.g., during conversations, eating) to slow compulsive thoughts and develop embodied mindfulness.

12. Mindfulness as Continuous Practice

Approach mindfulness as a continuous practice, not aiming for perfection, but consistently relaxing and noticing what’s happening in the moment to cultivate presence.

13. Cultivate Meditative Recovery State

Cultivate a meditative state of relaxed awareness for recovery during periods of high physical and mental demand, allowing you to be awake yet relaxed.

14. Strive for Present Moment Commitment

Strive for complete commitment to the present moment, where every cell is awake and focused, to feel most alive and achieve keen situational awareness.

15. Approach Life with Calmness

Approach life from a place of calmness and love, as this mindset makes navigating challenges much easier.

16. Maintain Consistent Practices

Maintain consistent mindfulness or meditation practices to build resilience and bounce back more easily from life’s challenges.

17. Seek Grounding Inspiration

When feeling ‘out of tune,’ seek grounding inspiration from sources like books or quotes to confront and overcome challenges.

18. Have Important Conversations

Have important, ‘clearing the air’ conversations with loved ones, especially when facing loss, to achieve a sense of closure and reduce future regret.

19. Be Present with Children

Be impactful and present with your children to make the most of the time you have with them.

20. Re-evaluate Life Priorities

Re-evaluate and reprioritize your life after significant life events, as these can profoundly shift your perspective on what truly matters.

21. Challenge Yourself, Pursue New

Recognize life’s brevity and use it as motivation to challenge yourself and pursue new endeavors.

22. Focus One Thing 100%

Focus 100% on one thing at a time to achieve goals effectively.

23. Reassess Identity After Change

Reassess your identity and purpose when major life roles or labels are removed, understanding that this transition takes time.

24. Find Joy in the Process

Find joy and satisfaction in the process of doing, rather than solely in the end result.

25. Separate Self from Archetypes

Separate your true self from public archetypes or external perceptions, understanding that these are not your full identity.

26. Seek True Satisfaction in Altruism

Seek true satisfaction through altruism and giving back to your community, as this is what life is truly about, with everything else being a distraction.

27. Allow Children to Fail

Allow children to experience failure, as it is a crucial learning opportunity for them.

28. Learn to Lose Gracefully

Learn to lose gracefully and win gracefully, recognizing that both are essential parts of growth and competition.

29. Empower Kids with Space

Give children space to learn, and be present to discuss both positive and negative outcomes with them.

30. Control Your Creative Destiny

In creative professions, learn to write and produce to control your own destiny and avoid the dissatisfaction of passively waiting for opportunities.

31. Become a Creator, Not Seeker

Become a creator rather than waiting for external validation, as relying on others for validation can undermine confidence and mental well-being.

32. Seek Cancer Support Centers

If affected by cancer, reach out to the Dempsey Center or other similar support centers for free complementary services and community support.

33. Encourage Seeking Support

Encourage individuals facing difficult diagnoses to take the initial step of seeking support, as overcoming the barrier of admission is often the hardest part.

34. Seek Information for Caregiving

Seek information and resources when supporting a loved one through illness to avoid feeling helpless.

35. Survivors: Give Back, Mentor

For cancer survivors, engage in mentorship or giving back to find profound purpose and support others newly diagnosed.

36. Hand Down Wisdom as You Age

As you age, prioritize handing down your wisdom through mentorship, as this provides motivation and purpose.

37. Frame Messages for Benefit

When communicating positive messages or advice, frame it by clearly explaining the personal benefits to the listener to increase engagement and reception.

38. Advocate for Accessible Mindfulness

Advocate for making mindfulness and meditation skills accessible to everyone, not just a privileged few, as it is a social justice issue.

39. Integrate Meditation in Work

Integrate short meditation or breathing practices into daily routines, like starting meetings or during commutes, to foster focus and presence in various environments.

40. Explore Complementary Therapies

Explore complementary therapies like Reiki, acupuncture, and yoga, especially when facing health challenges, as they can provide significant benefits.

41. Caregivers: Prioritize Self-Care

Caregivers must prioritize self-care, including time for recovery, self-listening, and nurturing, to sustain their well-being while supporting others.

42. Recognize Need to Re-Center

Recognize when you are losing focus or feeling overwhelmed and intentionally ‘click back in’ or re-center yourself.

43. Avoid Overworking, Fatigue

Avoid overworking, sleep deprivation, and excessive partying to prevent panic attacks, as panic feeds on fatigue and being run down.

44. Avoid Caffeine for Jitters

Avoid caffeine, including from chocolate, especially before high-pressure situations like meetings, to prevent jitters and anxiety.

45. Consult Doctor for Beta Blockers

Consult a doctor about beta blockers as a non-narcotic option to manage physical symptoms of anxiety (like a racing heart) in performance situations, as they can prevent the body from ‘freaking out’ even if the mind is nervous.