Use your energy in ways that align with your core values, are regenerative, utilize your strengths, and both give to others and give back to yourself. This helps prevent draining effort and fosters well-being.
Recognize that your well-being is heavily influenced by your relationship with experiences, not just the experiences themselves. Practice psychological flexibility to approach situations with freedom or gratitude, even difficult ones.
Regularly check if your efforts are misdirected by being “stuck in a story” (e.g., about success or self-worth), “avoiding discomfort” (e.g., picking up your phone to avoid silence), or “holding on too tight” (e.g., resisting change or uncertainty). Addressing these can free up wise energy.
When caught in unhelpful thoughts, notice them without judgment and ask if they are serving your values or preventing you from engaging with what matters. Step back from the thought and re-orient to your values and how you want to show up.
Recognize that avoiding discomfort (e.g., through overworking, distraction, or staying in bed) often leads to secondary problems and psychological suffering. Instead, allow yourself to face difficult realities and feelings.
Understand your values as active verbs and adverbs describing how you want to show up in daily life, rather than abstract concepts or external “shoulds.” This makes values actionable and personally chosen.
Reflect on your regrets (foundational, connection, boldness, moral) to uncover what you truly value. These insights can provide a clear “to-do list” for future actions aligned with your values.
Base your efforts and goals on intrinsic, deeper values rather than extrinsic factors (e.g., weight loss, external approval). Intrinsic motivators provide a sustainable and always-available source of drive.
Cultivate radical acceptance by opening to, allowing for, and welcoming your inner sensations and experiences without judgment or trying to make them disappear. This is not resignation, but a clear-eyed embrace of reality that enables effective action.
Ensure your unique “genius energy” (your natural strengths and abilities) is not overused, underused, or misdirected. Use your values and wisdom to guide this energy, like banks guiding a river, towards directions that truly matter to you.
Regularly call to mind the five remembrances (impermanence of body, health, age, relationships, and the ownership of our actions). This wise acknowledgement of truth can guide you to make present-moment decisions aligned with your values, but avoid if severely depressed.
Reflect on what bothers you most or keeps you awake at night, as these pain points often reveal what you deeply care about. Use these insights as a guide to direct your energy towards your true values.
Approach your problems, stuck points, strengths, and values with an open, non-judgmental curiosity. This act of questioning itself can be an intervention, fostering openness and leading to solutions.
Engage in practices that open your mind (e.g., questioning assumptions), open to feelings (even uncomfortable ones), open your sense of self (e.g., connecting with a “wiser self”), and open to change (e.g., trying new behaviors).
To make important decisions, go beyond simple pros and cons lists by consulting trusted, wise individuals, spending time in nature, reflecting on ancestral wisdom, listening to your body’s signals, or engaging in meditation.
When feeling stuck, intentionally try different behaviors or approaches, even if they seem unusual or uncomfortable, rather than doing the same thing harder. This “get unstuck button” fosters evolution and helps identify what works.
Identify what truly matters in the present moment and adjust your effort accordingly, sometimes dialing back, sometimes adding more. Use wisdom to determine whether to broaden or narrow your focus, like adjusting a camera’s aperture.
When dealing with depleting situations or individuals, consciously shift your attention, behavior, and priorities to align with your deeper values (e.g., love, kindness). This helps reclaim your energy and fosters wiser interactions.
Periodically review your calendar and commitments to identify tasks or responsibilities that do not align with your values or desires. Actively divest yourself of non-aligned responsibilities if possible.
Avoid overfilling your schedule with small tasks (“sand”) between major commitments (“rocks”). Ensure you leave “room to breathe” and margins in your day to prevent feeling overwhelmed and allow for presence.
For necessary but undesirable tasks, approach them with radical acceptance and align your behavior with your core values and character strengths. This transforms the experience and makes it feel more aligned and alive.
Instead of trying to eliminate symptoms, thoughts, or inner experiences, practice accepting their presence. This approach, central to ACT, focuses on flexibility rather than control over internal states.
Reflect on your unique combination of personality, interests, emotional intelligence, character strengths, and natural abilities that come easily to you. Understanding your “genius energy” helps you apply it wisely.
View anxiety not as a character deficit, but as an indicator of what you care about. This reframing allows for a curious and compassionate approach to anxiety, helping you address the underlying care.
When caught in unhelpful narratives or judgments, mentally or verbally ask yourself, “Are you sure?” This simple question can create an opening in your mind, allowing for new perspectives and wiser efforts.
If you can’t sleep, avoid unproductive worrying or working. Instead, try a brief, grounding activity like going outside to feel the elements (e.g., moon bath, feeling concrete under feet) to shift your energy and attention.
When interacting with “energy depleters,” notice and diffuse from unhelpful thoughts or stories you attach to them. This helps you stay present and prevents their energy from pulling you off track.
Engage in a walking meditation by mentally or verbally saying “yes” with two steps and “thank you” with the next two steps. This practice helps you return to your body, cultivate gratitude, and savor the present moment.
If feeling particularly down, shift your attentional focus to savoring what is good in your life. Actively appreciate accomplishments, kind people, positive energizers, and pleasant sensory experiences (e.g., warm sun, nature).