<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>Up until now, in our culture, we've generally talked about physical health and mental health–but there's an emerging consensus that the missing piece is <em>social health</em>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>But what can you actually do to improve your social health? Today we're going deep with the scientist who has thought a lot about this, and has a ton of good advice.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Kasley Killam, MPH, is a leading expert in social health and the award-winning author of <a href="https://www.kasleykillam.com/social-health-book" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier, and Happier</em></a>. As a graduate of the Harvard School of Public Health, sought-after advisor and keynote speaker, and founder of Social Health Labs, Killam has been improving global well-being through connection for over a decade. Her collaborations with organizations like Google, the US Department of Health and Human Services, and the World Economic Forum contribute to building more socially healthy products, workplaces, and communities. Killam's insights can be found in outlets such as <em>The New York Times</em>, <em>Forbes</em>, <em>NPR</em>, <em>Scientific American</em>, <em>Psychology Today</em>, and <em>The Washington Post</em>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>Why social health is so important, and how it impacts our physical and mental health</li> <li>How to figure out what your social style is</li> <li>Tips for strengthening your social muscles</li> <li>What you can do to boost your social health muscles</li> <li>How much vulnerability is appropriate </li> <li>How to have a healthy relationship with yourself</li> <li>How legislation could help with social health</li> <li>Emerging industries for social fitness</li> <li>And lastly, how we can work towards creating a society that cultivates connection</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Related Episodes:</strong></p> <p><a href="https://www.happierapp.com/podcast/tph/kristin-neff-360" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Self-Compassion Ain't Always Soft | Kristin Neff</a></p> <p><a href="https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/kristin-neff" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff</a></p> <p><a href="https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/mia-birdsong" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Rethinking Success | Mia Birdsong</a></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3QtGRqJ" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>here</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Follow Dan on social:</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Instagram</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>TikTok</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Ten Percent Happier online</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/46TZglY" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>bookstore</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Subscribe to our</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>YouTube Channel</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Our favorite playlists on:</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3Qa8kMT" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Anxiety</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3MjtMxF" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Sleep</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3QvyA5J" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Relationships</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3QxZASc" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Most Popular Episodes</strong></a></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/kasley-killam-839" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/kasley-killam-839</a></p> <p><br /></p>
Actionable Insights
1. Prioritize Social Health
Recognize that social health, derived from the quality of your relationships, is as vital as physical and mental health for overall well-being and longevity. Make conscious efforts to prioritize actions that foster healthy connections, just as you would for physical and mental health.
2. Practice Self-Compassion
Learn to talk to yourself like a friend, rather than a drill sergeant, by practicing self-compassion. This approach makes you more effective, resilient, and better at establishing habits and reaching goals, which in turn makes it easier to open up and connect with others.
3. Set Connection Goals
Apply the same intentionality and rigor to your relationships as you do to your career goals. Define what you want your social health to look like in the future (e.g., more friends, deeper existing friendships, more family time) and actively work towards those objectives.
4. Create a ‘To-Love’ List
Write down the names of perhaps three to ten people who are really important to you and who you want to make sure you’re staying in touch with. Place this list somewhere visible, like your computer monitor or next to your toothbrush, to serve as a daily reminder for intentional connection.
5. Automate Key Relationships
Put important relationships on ‘autopilot’ by scheduling recurring calls, video chats, or in-person meetings (e.g., monthly, quarterly). This consistency removes scheduling friction and ensures regular touchpoints, which is crucial for long-term relationship building and maintenance.
6. Set Healthy Boundaries
Being socially healthy means having boundaries, expecting to be treated with respect and kindness, and treating others similarly. If interactions are consistently negative or abusive, the socially healthy action may be to let that person go and focus on relationships that bring joy and meaning.
7. Engage in Shared Hobbies
To expand your social network and make new friends, do what you love with other people. Join clubs or groups related to your hobbies (e.g., a book club, hiking group) to naturally foster conversation and friendship around shared interests, reducing pressure on one-on-one interactions.
Combat loneliness and foster a sense of purpose by volunteering with a local organization. This allows you to meet new people, feel connected to your community, and turn your attention outward, which is shown to improve personal well-being.
9. Ask Deeper Questions
Tone your social muscles and deepen existing relationships by moving beyond small talk. Practice asking follow-up questions to show curiosity and engagement (e.g., ‘Tell me more about that’) or use structured prompts like ‘What’s your rose, thorn, and bud this week?’
10. Practice Selective Vulnerability
Deepen relationships through self-disclosure by sharing personal challenges, struggles, or ambitions with people you trust and in appropriate contexts. This engenders trust and brings you closer to others, but be thoughtful about when and with whom you share.
11. Integrate Connection Microdoses
Weave small, meaningful acts of connection into your daily routine by multitasking. For example, call a friend or family member for a quick chat while folding laundry or commuting, rather than listening to a podcast, to microdose connection throughout your day.
12. Balance Socializing with Solitude
If you are an introvert, ensure you balance social interactions with sufficient alone time to recharge your energy. Being socially healthy means having the right amount and type of connection that feels fulfilling to you, not necessarily socializing constantly.
13. Adopt an Experimental Mindset
Approach your social life like a scientist: be curious, persistent, and objective. Experiment with different connection strategies, pay attention to how interactions make you feel, and continually test new approaches to navigate the inevitable ups and downs of social health.
14. Send Proactive Gratitude/Check-ins
Set a calendar reminder (daily or weekly) to send a quick text or email to someone you haven’t connected with recently, expressing gratitude or simply saying ‘I’m thinking of you.’ Even simple outreach significantly impacts how connected both parties feel.
15. Practice Loving Kindness Meditation
Engage in loving kindness (Metta) meditation to cultivate feelings of connection to oneself and all living beings. This practice can be a beautiful and indirect way to enhance your sense of connection and act as an antidote to fear.