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Oliver Burkeman, The Power of Negative Thinking

Jan 9, 2019 1h 13m 14 insights
Oliver Burkeman writes about social psychology, self-help culture, productivity, and the science of happiness in This Column Will Change Your Life for The Guardian. In his writings, he challenges "The Power of Positive Thinking," and in fact argues for the benefits of contemplating worst-case scenarios. His new book, "The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking," explores the benefits of negativity, uncertainty, failure and imperfection. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Twitter: @oliverburkeman Columns: https://www.theguardian.com/profile/oliverburkeman The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking https://www.amazon.com/Antidote-Happiness-People-Positive-Thinking/dp/0865478015
Actionable Insights

1. Embrace Finitude, Make Choices

Accept that you have finite time and capacity, and you will inevitably disappoint some people or fail in some roles. Consciously decide what matters most and what you are willing to let go, rather than striving for infinite productivity.

2. Practice Self-Compassion Daily

Engage in formal self-compassion practices, such as sending well wishes to yourself, to cultivate a friendlier inner climate. This helps you balance self-critical analysis with resilience, allowing you to learn from mistakes without self-flagellation.

3. Visualize Worst-Case Scenarios

When anxious about something, deliberately think through the worst possible outcome in a sober way. This stoic technique often reveals that reality is less dire than imagined and provides mental preparation, disarming the power of fearful thoughts.

4. Lean Into Negative Experiences

Instead of suppressing negative thoughts and emotions, give them space to play out. This approach, central to meditation, allows you to see them clearly, cut them down to size, and gain autonomy over them, rather than being owned by avoidance.

5. Beware Infinite Productivity Trap

Recognize that in a world of infinite inputs (emails, tasks, ideas), becoming more efficient often leads to working faster through an endless pile, never reaching the end. Increased efficiency can also raise expectations from yourself and others, leading to more work.

6. Consciously Say No

Understand that you will inevitably say no to genuinely good opportunities because there isn’t enough time for everything. Proactively decide which important things will not fit into your schedule, rather than letting it happen by default.

7. Apply “Hell Yeah or No” Rule

Adopt a high bar for commitments, accepting only opportunities that elicit an enthusiastic “hell yeah.” This helps you prioritize and avoid taking on tasks that are merely “good” but not essential, thus preventing overwhelm.

8. Confront Public Embarrassment

To overcome fear of public embarrassment, intentionally engage in a mildly embarrassing act, like speaking station names aloud on a train. You’ll likely discover the experience is far less excruciating than anticipated, and people are mostly self-absorbed.

9. Observe Agitation in Meditation

When useful ideas or tasks arise during meditation, instead of acting on them, notice the agitation or restlessness to hold onto them. This practice helps you see how turbulent your mind is, preventing you from being owned by its tumult.

10. Trust Meditation Insights Will Return

If great ideas surface during meditation, trust that truly good ones will likely return after your session. This allows you to maintain focus on your practice without the fear of losing valuable thoughts.

11. Prioritize Personal Meditation Experience

If you find meditation personally beneficial, continue the practice regardless of conflicting scientific studies or external opinions. Your subjective experience of improved well-being and ease in life is a valid indicator of its effectiveness.

12. Maintain Consistent Meditation

Aim for a consistent meditation practice, even if it’s just a small chunk daily. A regular habit correlates with feeling calmer, less angry, and generally more at ease in daily life, improving your interactions with others.

13. Use a Single To-Do List

Write down all your tasks on one to-do list to externalize them and gain a sense of control. Starting with easier items and crossing them off can create a feeling of progress and clarity regarding priorities.

14. Insight 14

Explore the “meditation on joy” by Diana Winston, available on the 10% Happier app, to experience its benefits.