Actively explore the question ‘Who am I really?’ in your direct experience, especially during meditation, to challenge egoic patterns and conditioned behaviors that reinforce a limited sense of self. This helps avoid reinforcing the idea of a ’limited me’ striving in practice.
While practicing mindfulness and paying attention to what you are aware of, also ask the question, ‘What is aware of these things?’ This simple inquiry helps shift focus from the objects of awareness to the awareness itself, recognizing your being as naturally vast and aware.
Beyond befriending yourself, recognize that you are not merely your limited experiences but the vastness of awareness in which these experiences arise. This shift in perspective can lead to a different, more liberating experience.
Cultivate the understanding that your true nature is love, which is experienced when the illusion of a separate, limited self falls away. This recognition allows you to approach interactions from a place of unity and deep connection.
Recognize yourself as the source of unconditional love, rather than just someone who offers it. This realization, stemming from the understanding of your vast, inherently aware, and loving nature, profoundly shifts your practice and reduces strenuous effort.
Understand and navigate life by moving seamlessly between ‘relative truth’ (our everyday consensual reality) and ‘ultimate truth’ (the underlying reality where the self is illusory and interconnected). Let the ultimate inform how you engage with the relative.
Approach meditation and self-improvement practices from a place of knowing you are already whole and complete, rather than being fueled by the desire to ‘get better.’ This paradoxical mindset can enhance progress by reducing effort and frustration.
Learn to offer unconditionally loving reassurances to yourself, befriending yourself completely, especially in situations where you feel pressured or experience negative self-talk. This practice can change your relationship with your perceived self and provide an advocate.
Practice self-compassion not merely as a technique to feel better, but as an invitation to return to your inherent wholeness, recognizing your true nature. This approach transcends a ‘band-aid’ solution and fosters a deeper sense of well-being.
Be aware that the ego can manifest not only as puffed-up self-importance but also as self-diminishing thoughts like ‘I’m nobody.’ The concept of ’no self’ is not about self-abnegation but seeing through the illusion of a separate, limited self in all its forms.
When identified with the conditioned mind, use SNAP: See it (recognize identification), Name it (e.g., ‘inner critic’), Allow it (for letting go), and Presence (return to being aware that you are aware). This shifts from striving to resting in awareness.
Instead of constantly directing your attention outwards, allow it to soften and relax, drawing back into itself like a flashlight beam. This allows attention to return to its ‘home base’ of simply being, directly experiencing your own being.
When you notice your mind ruminating or attention bouncing, recognize that you are aware of this activity. Instead of forcing attention, surrender to this natural, effortless awareness, allowing it to come to the forefront of your experience.
Gently move a limb or feel your breath and notice that the raw knowing of sensations or thoughts is effortless. Incorporate the word ’effortless’ into your mind during practices like walking or breathing to reinforce that knowing does not require effort.
During meditation or daily activities, use the passive voice (e.g., ‘breathing is being known’), then add ‘by what?’ to investigate who or what is taking delivery of mental packages. This offers glimpses of the unfindable self.
Gently look for the ‘self’ by asking ‘what’s hearing?’ or ‘what’s seeing?’ or ‘who’s taking delivery of these sensory packages?’ This practice can reveal the absence of a fixed self and lead to a feeling of vastness, cutting through suffering.
While recognizing that returning to your own being is effortless, actively engage in ‘practicing the non-practice’ by being aware of the knowing itself, even during simple activities. This stabilizes your knowing of yourself as presence.
Hold the paradox that you are perfect just as you are, yet there’s always room for improvement. This perspective allows you to engage in practices with joy and from a place of wholeness, rather than striving from deficiency.
Enhance the effectiveness of any practice, such as communication skills, by approaching it with the understanding that you are not separate from others and share the same being. This recognition of unity can significantly amplify positive effects.
In any situation, especially when clinging to being ‘right’ or engaging in habitual patterns, ask yourself: ‘Does this lead towards suffering or away from it?’ This helps identify and disengage from behaviors that ultimately cause distress.
Before acting on an impulse or habitual behavior, ask yourself, ‘What would the outcome of that be?’ or ‘Where do you see it going?’ This helps you realize if your actions will lead to desired results or perpetuate unhelpful patterns.
When feeling stressed or caught in a difficult situation, ask yourself ‘Would it help?’ to assess the utility of your current emotional or mental state. This question can help you disengage from unhelpful reactions.
Understand that reducing identification with the ego or ‘self’ naturally makes you more loving and generous. By turning down the volume on the ego, you become more available and connected to others.
Use prompts like ‘In order to be loved, I need to…’ to bring unconscious, habitual storylines and conditioned beliefs into awareness. This practice helps you see what drives your behavior and disidentify from these limitations.
Apply the ‘fleshing out conditioning’ practice to collective groups you identify with by answering prompts like ‘As [collective identity], I’m only lovable if…’ This helps reveal and disidentify from collective conditioning.
Engage in ‘contemplative cross-training’ by practicing various skills like focus, mindfulness, and tapping into non-duality. These skills are mutually reinforcing and beneficial for different situations.