Focus on cultivating and maintaining high-quality relationships, as the Harvard study found this to be the single most important variable for a happy, healthy, and successful life by regulating stress and preventing chronic health issues.
When facing worries or burdens, share them with others instead of shouldering them alone, as quality relationships help regulate stress and allow your body to calm down from fight-or-flight mode.
Actively maintain your relationships through small, consistent choices, similar to how you maintain physical fitness, to prevent friendships from waning and ensure ongoing connection.
Choose to spend time with loved ones, like your children, even during productive work hours, to avoid future regrets of prioritizing work over personal relationships, a common regret among study participants.
Actively build friendships at work, as having a ‘best friend’ there can significantly increase engagement, productivity, and job retention, making work less interchangeable and combating loneliness.
Engage in service or volunteer work, or find a purpose beyond yourself, as this investment has huge benefits for wellbeing, leading to longer, healthier lives for those who have a purpose beyond the self.
Give of yourself to others, even if from a ‘selfish’ motivation, because helping others and being generous will ultimately bring benefits back to you, enhancing your own well-being.
Be proactive in reaching out to friends, such as suggesting a walk, rather than assuming relationships will maintain themselves, to actively nurture connections and counteract the natural drift of friendships.
Pay attention to and engage in fleeting micro-interactions with strangers or acquaintances, as these small connections can unexpectedly increase happiness and energy, even if you initially imagine you won’t like it.
If the thought arises to reach out to someone, don’t second-guess it; just do it, as this act of generosity to others and yourself can create positive ripples and boosts of energy.
Exercise discernment in relationships, trying to work through difficulties when possible, as resolving conflict can strengthen bonds, but be prepared to step away from truly toxic or abusive ones when you can.
If you are struggling with a problematic relationship, talk to trusted friends, relatives, or professionals to gain perspective and avoid getting lost in your own thoughts.
Improve your ability to understand others’ feelings by being curious, gently checking out your interpretations, and filing away visual and verbal cues about their emotional states to better connect with them.
Listen carefully to others and briefly repeat the essence of their message in your own words to ensure understanding and make them feel seen and heard, which also helps you be less self-absorbed.
When facing challenging situations, use the WISER model (Watch, Interpret, Select, Engage, Reflect) to slow down your reactions, gather data, consider options, and learn from your responses, getting out of self-made stories.
When possible, postpone your response to emotionally charged situations, allowing yourself time to think, sleep on it, or consult others, to set yourself up for a more successful outcome.
Approach romantic relationships with reasonable expectations, understanding that conflict is normal, no single partner can fulfill all needs, and both individuals will constantly change, aiming to grow together.
If you and your partner are stuck in repetitive, unhelpful argument patterns or feel a bedrock of goodwill eroding, consider couples counseling to gain a third-party perspective and get unstuck.
When experiencing difficulties with a partner, remember that feelings and situations are constantly changing and will pass, allowing time for things to ebb, flow, and shift, rather than believing feelings are forever.
With family members you think you know well, actively ask yourself, ‘What’s here right now that I haven’t noticed before?’ to foster curiosity and openness to their current selves, rather than fixed perceptions.
Leaders should set an example and create structures, like dedicated sharing time in meetings, to encourage employees to get to know each other personally, combating loneliness and boosting productivity.
Believe that it is never too late to improve your relationships and happiness, as data shows people can become more socially engaged and happier even in their sixties and seventies, with moods often improving from midlife onward.
Understand and accept that it is impossible to be happy all the time, as everyone experiences periods of suffering and difficulty, preventing the mistaken fantasy of constant happiness.
Introverts should prioritize one or two close, energizing relationships rather than feeling pressured to have many friends, as quality connections are key to their wellbeing, not quantity, and being with many people can be exhausting.