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Meditation Party: The "Sh*t Is Fertilizer" Edition | Sebene Selassie & Jeff Warren

Jan 25, 2023 1h 9m 18 insights
<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>Today's episode is the first in an experimental new series called Meditation Party. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Dan takes listener calls with fellow meditators Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren and get candid about their practices and dealing with life</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Sebene Selassie is based in Brooklyn and describes herself as a "writer, teacher, and immigrant-weirdo." She teaches meditation on the Ten Percent Happier app and is the author of a great book called, <em>You Belong</em>. Jeff Warren is based in Toronto and is also a writer and meditation teacher who co-wrote the book, <em>Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics</em> with Dan Harris. Jeff also hosts the Consciousness Explorers podcast.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Call (508) 656-0540 to have your question answered during the Meditation Party!</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sebene-selassie-jeff-warren-553" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sebene-selassie-jeff-warren-553</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate a Meditative Community

Actively seek and engage with a community of meditators (Sangha) to counteract disconnection, gain support in your practice, and normalize what can sometimes feel like a strange pursuit. This community fosters deeper human connection and allows for authentic sharing.

2. Practice Authentic Sharing

Engage in authentic and honest sharing within your community to foster deeper human connection and avoid shutting down. Aim to share from “scars” (healed experiences with perspective) rather than “wounds” (raw, current pain) to avoid overwhelming others, but seek help from trusted individuals for open wounds.

3. Embrace Gratitude as Game Changer

Cultivate a gratitude practice to powerfully shift perspective, recognize positive aspects of life, and change negative thought patterns, especially during challenging times. Start by being grateful for easy things, then gradually extend it to include difficulties and “gray days.”

4. Implement Diverse Gratitude Practices

Integrate various gratitude practices into your daily life, such as daily gratitude texting with friends, journaling gratitude lists periodically, or mentally shifting negative thought patterns to a list of things you’re grateful for.

5. Seek Support, Don’t Go Alone

Actively seek and lean on support from many people, including friends, family, doctors, pets, or even nature, rather than trying to navigate difficult times in isolation. Our nervous systems are designed to interact with other nervous systems, making community vital.

6. Re-evaluate Pain Meditation Approach

When experiencing chronic or severe pain, allow yourself space for ease, including movement, rocking, or other soothing actions, rather than forcing stillness. This approach prioritizes self-love and self-care over rigid adherence to traditional sitting meditation.

7. Prioritize Freedom Over Being Right

In conflicts or grievances, prioritize your freedom from emotional entanglement over the need to be “right.” Engage in a process of forgiveness, which aims to release the emotional hold of past wrongs without condoning the actions.

8. Explore Underlying Anger & Seek Support

When experiencing anger, explore its underlying causes and core emotions through self-inquiry, meditation, therapy, or somatic work, allowing yourself to feel and process these energies for transformative change. For deeper, core emotional issues, recognize when your own agency is not enough and seek professional support.

9. Reframe Relationship Endings as Evolution

Challenge the notion of a long-term relationship ending as a “failure.” Instead, reframe it as an evolution, recognizing that relationships can conclude without negating their past value and that multiple partnerships are common in adult life.

10. Cultivate Mudita (Sympathetic Joy)

Practice Mudita, or sympathetic joy, by consciously wishing happiness for others, even those who have caused you pain or moved on. This “pro move” can be a powerful tool for personal healing and releasing negative emotions.

11. Practice Healthy Manifestation

Engage in a “humbler, reality-based” form of manifestation by setting healthy intentions and desires (controlling causes), then releasing attachment to specific outcomes (recognizing you cannot control effects). Focus on doing your best while acknowledging impermanence.

12. Visualize Desired Future

When setting intentions, visualize your desired future as if it has already happened, allowing this feeling to deeply sink in through equanimity. This practice can influence your actions, priorities, and the opportunities you notice, making your goals more likely to materialize.

13. Cherish Your Ability to Move

Consciously cherish and appreciate your physical ability to move, recognizing it as a profound privilege that can be easily taken for granted.

14. Adapt Practices for Neurodiversity

Recognize that meditation and mindfulness practices should be adapted for individuals with different brain types and challenges, moving beyond a “one size fits all” approach to better support neurodiverse people.

15. Bond Through Children’s Interests

Engage with your children’s current obsessions and interests, even if they are outside your usual sphere, as a powerful and enjoyable way to bond and foster conversation.

16. Expand Meditation & Party Definition

Broaden your understanding of “meditation” and “party” to include all aspects of life, both joyful and difficult, fostering a sense of celebration and fun. This means embracing life in its fullness, including the ups and downs.

17. Provide Podcast Feedback

Provide feedback on the podcast (e.g., new theme music, episode format) via Twitter or the 10% Happier website to help the creators improve the show.

18. Consider Meditation App & Retreat

Explore using the “10% with Dan Harris” app for guided meditations, live community sessions, and ad-free podcast access, or attend their meditation retreat for a community experience.