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Meditation is Not Just a Solo Endeavor | Pamela Ayo Yetunde

May 24, 2021 1h 13m 23 insights
There's a meditation pitfall that's pretty easy to fall into. In fact, I've fallen into it many times. It's this idea, which we can hold consciously or subconsciously, that meditation is a solo endeavor. "I'm doing it to reduce my stress, or boost my focus, or... make myself ten percent happier." All of that is fine. It's actually great. But in my experience, the deeper you go into this thing, the more you see that the self is less stable and more porous than you previously imagined. And you also see that it's really impossible to be happy in a vacuum; your happiness depends on the well-being of the people around you. We're going to explore this notion of meditation as a team sport today with Pamela Ayo Yetunde. She's the co-editor of Black & Buddhist: What Buddhism Can Teach Us About Race, Resilience, Transformation & Freedom, which just won the Nautilus book award. She's got a law degree from Indiana University and a theology degree from Columbia Theological Seminary. She also founded something called Buddhist Justice Reporter: The George Floyd Trials, which you will hear her discuss in this conversation. This is the first of two conversations we're posting this week to mark the one-year anniversary of the murder of George Floyd. In this chat with Ayo, which is the name she prefers to be addressed by, we cover: a concept she calls "shock protection"; living nobly in a time of ignobility; how we can move toward civility; various interpretations of the Buddhist concept of no-self, including viewing no self as inter-dependence; and how white people in particular can maintain their focus on issues of race, even when we have the option of looking away. Also, one order of business: We're offering 40% off the price of a year-long subscription to the Ten Percent Happier app until June 1st. Visit https://www.tenpercent.com/may to sign up today. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pamela-ayo-yetunde-349
Actionable Insights

1. Train During Good Times

Consistently practice meditation when not overwhelmed or in crisis, as this builds a strong foundation that will automatically support you when inevitable difficulties arise.

2. View Meditation as Team Sport

Recognize that while meditation can start with selfish motivations, true happiness and deeper understanding reveal that the self is interconnected, making happiness dependent on the well-being of others.

3. Reject Tuning Out Suffering

Understand that the ability to ignore suffering, while seemingly comfortable, hardens the heart and makes one blind, ultimately causing personal detriment.

4. Acknowledge Inner Capacity for Harm

In meditation, honestly observe your own capacity for harmful thoughts or actions, including past instances of indifference, to cultivate humility and inspire renunciation of evil.

5. Promote Civility as Purpose

Adopt promoting civility as a fundamental human purpose, recognizing that mutual survival and societal functioning depend on respectful interaction.

6. Practice Wise Selfishness

Understand that true personal happiness, or ‘wise selfishness,’ involves acknowledging interdependence and working for the well-being of others, as we are a social species.

7. Engage with Diverse People

Make an effort to spend time with people from different backgrounds than your own, as this engagement helps you feel their pain and fosters a sense of shared community when they are targeted.

8. Understand Violence as Unhandled Suffering

Recognize that violent actions, from snide comments to physical aggression, often stem from an inability to process and hold one’s own suffering.

9. Cultivate Selflessness via Brahma Viharas

Practice the Brahma Viharas (loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, equanimity) to shift focus from constant self-gratification to promoting the well-being and happiness of others.

10. Build Relational Resilience

Enhance your ability to form healthy relationships across differences by regularly practicing mindfulness, meditation, loving-kindness, understanding interdependence, and participating in your community.

11. Interpret No-Self as Interdependence

Understand ’no self’ not as non-existence, but as a deep interconnectedness with all beings, which fosters a sense of shared existence and responsibility.

12. Dedicate Merit to All Beings

After meditation, intentionally direct any positive experiences or insights towards the well-being of all sentient beings, preventing narcissism and extending the benefit beyond yourself.

13. Relationships Motivate Meditation

Recognize that most of your time is spent in relationships, and let the desire to improve these interactions be a key motivation for your meditation practice.

14. Align Practice with Bodhisattva Vows

If you have taken vows to alleviate the suffering of all beings, critically examine whether your meditation practice is solely for personal benefit or if it also supports this broader commitment.

15. Accept Reality, Listen to Cries

Continuously meditate and commit to listening to the suffering and challenges in the world, even amidst personal anger or despair, to maintain a compassionate response.

16. Focus on Present Living

Amidst uncertainties about the future or death, consciously choose how you will live and embody your values in the present moment.

17. Prevent Harmful Impulses with Wisdom

Use your accumulated wisdom and ethical vows to catch and breathe through impulses to do harm, preventing you from acting on base instincts.

18. Normalize Waking Up to Issues

Accept that it’s normal to cycle between awareness and inattention to difficult social issues, and practice gentleness rather than self-criticism when you become aware again.

19. See All as One Community

Shift your perspective to see all people as part of a single human community, rather than categorizing them into ‘minority’ or ‘majority’ groups, to foster greater empathy and connection.

20. Avoid Siloing Human Experiences

Refrain from categorizing people into separate communities when discussing shared pain and injustice, as this excludes others who also feel concern and hinders collective empathy.

21. Recognize Others as Kind Humans

Begin interactions by acknowledging others as human beings who need kindness to flourish, fostering a commitment to mutual well-being.

22. Infuse Greetings with Sentiment

When greeting someone, pause to genuinely feel and express kind words like ‘I’m pleased to meet you,’ recognizing the unique and potentially fleeting nature of the encounter.

23. Prepare for Societal Challenges

Acknowledge the current societal dangers and prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for upcoming challenges and potential value conflicts, practicing ‘shock protection.’