Prioritize and actively optimize the quality of your relationships, as data indicates this is the most crucial factor for human flourishing, happiness, and longevity, even more so than sleep or diet.
Expand your understanding and practice of ’love’ beyond romantic contexts to encompass an omnidirectional force, applying it as an energy and approach to all interactions and relationships (e.g., with baristas, colleagues, friends, family).
Trust that meditation takes time to yield benefits and that its effects can be mysterious. Relax into the practice, continue doing it, and observe the long-term outcomes, supported by millennia of practice and neuroscience.
Understand that habit formation is difficult and most people struggle. This knowledge can foster resilience, allowing you to approach the process with exploration and play, and to restart after inevitable failures.
Address panic and anxiety through a dual approach: use exposure therapy to desensitize the brain to triggers, and explore subconscious causes through methods like brain spotting or EMDR to understand underlying roots.
Explore somatic work (e.g., somatic experiencing) if other therapeutic approaches are insufficient, as emotional pain and unprocessed stress can be stored in the body and may need to be released through physical means.
Consider therapeutic techniques like Brain Spotting or EMDR, which use eye movements or bilateral stimulation, to access and process deeply stored memories and emotional experiences that may be fueling current anxiety or trauma.
Reframe ’trauma’ as cumulative stress that hasn’t been processed or ‘shaken out’ of the system, acknowledging that ongoing, prolonged exposure to stress can be stored in the body and mind.
In meditation, practice surrender by dropping self-assessment and ceasing to obsess about progress; simply engage in the practice (sitting, walking, eating) to the best of your ability.
Instead of trying to shut down the analytical mind during meditation, simply observe thoughts like judgment or doubt. Make a mental note (e.g., ’that’s judgment’) to playfully acknowledge them without aggression, which helps in not taking habitual neurotic thoughts too seriously.
Practice slowing down, refraining from judgment, and cultivating kindness (loving kindness) in your daily life and practices.
Train your body and mind throughout the entire day to cultivate centeredness, calmness, kindness, and a lack of judgment, not just during dedicated practice times.
Use visualization to mentally rehearse desired outcomes or situations, such as successfully navigating a challenging event, to build a mental model and prepare your body for the experience.
Engage in exposure therapy by imagining or directly experiencing fear-inducing situations to habituate your physiological response and teach your brain that the situation is safe.
Acknowledge and give yourself credit for consistent existing practices, even if they don’t feel ideal. When adding new sessions, start very small (e.g., one, two, or five minutes) to make habit formation easier.
Meditate when it works for you, not necessarily first thing in the morning. If evening meditation is effective for anxiety, continue with it.
When a habit fails, reassess the reasons, such as the time of day, duration, or specific approach, to adjust and try again.
Consider the act of engaging in a practice, even imperfectly or by returning to it, as a success, as its benefits are cumulative over time.
Avoid moving the goalposts of success in self-improvement practices; recognize incremental changes and accept that being human involves a range of emotions, rather than expecting a complete absence of challenges.
To make incorporating new activities or habits into your life easier, try to do them with other people, leveraging the power of relationships.
Utilize Substack for creating and consuming in-depth, longer-form content and for fostering deeper connections and interactions with your audience through features like live events and chats.