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Mayim Bialik On: Anxiety, Anger, Believing in Both Neuroscience and God, and the Pressures of Being a Teen TV Star

May 15, 2023 59m 12s 27 insights
<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>Historically on this show, we want guests who either have skills that they can teach us (i.e. meditation teachers or happiness researchers) or we want people who are willing to get super personal about their interior lives—and today you're gonna meet a bold-faced name who happens to have both qualifications in spades.</p> <p>Mayim Bialik burst onto the scene in the 1990s as the star of the TV show <em>Blossom</em>. Then she stepped away, got a bachelor's and a PhD in neuroscience, and became a mom. She returned to TV with another sitcom, <em>The Big Bang Theory</em>. And now she has a very full plate as the co-host of <em>Jeopardy!</em> and the host of a podcast of her own called <em>Mayim's Breakdown</em>. Oh, and she's also written four books, including <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/548520/girling-up-by-mayim-bialik/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Girling Up: How to Be Strong, Smart, and Spectacular</em></a> and <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/567379/boying-up-by-mayim-bialik/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Boying Up: How to Be Brave, Bold, and Brilliant</em></a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The pressures of being a teen star</li> <li>Mayim's fascination with the brain</li> <li>How she squares her scientific expertise with her religious beliefs</li> <li>Why she half-jokingly says she was born "a mental health challenge" </li> <li>The difference between anxiety attacks and panic disorder</li> <li>Why she's chosen to be so public about her complicated psychiatric history</li> <li>Whether it's possible to be overdiagnosed</li> <li>The tools she personally uses to stay afloat</li> <li>What's behind her busyness, and what happened when she decided to stop working all the time</li> <li>And why at age 47, she's now taking the time to learn how to express her anger in a healthy way</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p>A note that there are some mentions of suicide and addiction in this episode. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mayim-bialik-600" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mayim-bialik-600</a> </p>
Actionable Insights

1. Embrace Continuous Growth

Abandon the idea of a fixed “destination” in life and embrace continuous personal growth and evolution, recognizing that challenges and learning opportunities persist throughout all stages of life.

2. Process Emotions, Reduce Busyness

Reduce excessive work or constant busyness, especially if it’s a compensatory mechanism, to create space for processing emotions and truly feeling your feelings.

3. Cultivate Nuance & Patience

Cultivate patience and tolerance for differing opinions and feelings, especially in conversations, as the ability to engage with nuance is crucial for healthy communication and understanding.

4. Integrate Science & Faith

Integrate scientific understanding with spiritual beliefs by viewing natural processes as divine and interpreting religious texts for their ethical and mystical implications rather than literal truth. This allows for a harmonious coexistence of science and faith.

5. Seek Introspection & Support

Engage in introspection and seek spaces where you can express your feelings and experiences, as “getting it out” and having someone hold space for you is a valuable part of healing.

6. Focus on Function, Not Diagnosis

Focus on how you function and cope rather than solely on diagnoses, as over-diagnosis can pathologize aspects of life and may not fully address individual needs for coping and functioning better.

7. Learn Healthy Anger Expression

Learn to identify and express anger in a healthy way by exploring how it feels in your body and understanding the underlying reasons for difficulty in expressing it.

8. Practice Meditation Consistently

Engage in proper meditation practice, even if you’re a slow learner, as consistent effort over time can lead to significant personal growth and new learning.

9. Yoga as Meditative Practice

Practice yoga not just as physical exercise, but as a meditative practice to actively quiet internal noise and voices, deepening your understanding and benefits over time.

10. Improve Sleep Hygiene

Implement proper sleep hygiene practices, such as avoiding TV, eating, or intense workouts close to bedtime, to improve sleep quality and overall well-being.

11. Heal Childhood Trauma

Seek help to heal from childhood traumas and difficult upbringings, as this can enable you to parent differently and raise self-aware, respectful children who know how to articulate their needs.

12. Understand Anxiety vs. Panic

Understand the difference between anxiety attacks and panic attacks to better identify and seek appropriate treatment. Anxiety attacks involve heightened physiological symptoms, while panic attacks often include a dissociative component and fear of future attacks can trigger them.

13. Use Diagnoses Carefully

Use mental health diagnoses carefully and avoid hyperbole, as casual self-diagnosis or mislabeling can trivialize serious conditions and lead to inappropriate treatment. Understand that formal diagnoses require specific criteria.

14. Level Mental Health Vocabulary

Seek to understand a common vocabulary around mental health and how people react to difficult situations, which can help in navigating personal challenges and supporting others.

15. Avoid Diagnoses as Excuses

Avoid using diagnoses as an excuse for thinking, feeling, or behaving, and instead deconstruct the underlying reasons for your actions and work towards better coping mechanisms.

16. Recognize Internal Resources

Recognize that internal resources, combined with proper education and support, are crucial for managing mental health and improving well-being.

17. Consider 12-Step Programs

Consider participating in 12-step programs, such as Al-Anon, if you grew up in a home affected by addiction or dysfunction, to learn principles for personal growth, self-management, and emotional sobriety.

18. Live “One Day at a Time”

Practice living “one day at a time” to manage challenges and maintain emotional well-being, focusing on the present moment rather than overwhelming future concerns.

19. Maintain Emotional Sobriety

Actively participate in support group meetings and maintain contact with a sponsor (if applicable) to sustain emotional sobriety and prevent a decline in mental well-being.

20. Balance “Being” and “Doing”

Strive for a balance between self-care and simply “being” rather than constantly “doing,” to avoid busying yourself even with self-care and to foster a more authentic human experience.

21. Be Aware of Addiction Shifts

Be aware that addictive behaviors or compensatory mechanisms can shift and manifest in different forms throughout life, often stemming from an underlying “God-shaped hole” or unmet emotional needs.

22. Seek Feedback on Work Compulsion

If you have a compulsion to work, consider seeking an “intervention” or honest feedback from trusted individuals to address this pattern and create space for other aspects of life.

23. Engage in Psychotherapy

Engage in ongoing psychotherapy and mind-body work to address persistent challenges and promote healing, especially for physical pains that may have emotional roots.

24. Foster Honest Communication

Foster open and honest communication in professional relationships by explicitly stating your desire for direct feedback, even if it’s critical, to improve and build trust.

25. Mind Social Media’s Pace

Be mindful of how the fast pace of the internet and social media may hinder your ability to engage with nuance and tolerate differing viewpoints, and actively seek ways to counteract this conditioning.

26. Advocate for Mental Health Access

Advocate for mental health awareness and access to support, especially for those who lack resources, and strive for nuance in discussions to avoid over-diagnosis or mislabeling.

27. Use 10% Happier App

Utilize the 10% with Dan Harris app for guided meditations, community features, and ad-free access to the podcast, which can help with stress, anxiety, sleep, focus, and self-compassion.