Before committing to a new habit, engage in profound reflection to uncover your deepest motivations, linking the habit to your most important life roles, relationships, and personal goals, as this intrinsic drive provides lasting strength.
Critically evaluate whether your chosen habit or resolution genuinely enhances your daily life, aligns with your goals, and is worthy of your energy and attention, as selecting the right habit is crucial for long-term success.
Replace self-criticism and shame with self-compassion, recognizing that self-judgment is disempowering and ineffective for long-term change, while self-compassion provides the resources needed to grow.
Define self-compassion as the courage to believe in your capacity for change, to remind yourself of what truly matters even when you’ve fallen short, and to re-engage with your goals rather than giving up.
Do not link new habits to motivations rooted in shame, stigma, or self-judgment about your appearance, as this not only undermines long-term success but also reinforces a habit of self-suffering.
View habit formation as an opportunity to cultivate a new, more positive way of relating to yourself by choosing motivations that are meaningful and positive, thereby building habits that support your well-being.
Recognize that your environment constantly influences your behavior; proactively place physical reminders (e.g., a picture of your motivation, sneakers out) in your surroundings to support your goals and new habits.
Seek out social support for habit change by either finding someone to pursue the goal with you or identifying individuals who believe in your goal and are willing to offer encouragement and accountability.
Focus on integrating meditation and mindfulness practices into your daily rituals rather than solely relying on formal sit-down sessions, as this can have a greater impact on the quality of your life.
Before getting out of bed, set an intention for the day by choosing what you want to bring to it (e.g., enthusiasm, full attention), focusing on how you want to be rather than just what you’ll do, to determine the quality of your day.
Before sleep, review your day and mentally thank everyone you interacted with, reflecting on why you’re grateful for their presence; this practice strengthens a mindset of interdependence, fostering hope and gratitude.
Engage in physical exercise (like running or walking) to stimulate your muscles to secrete ‘hope molecules’ (myokines) into your bloodstream, which travel to your brain to enhance resilience to stress, aid trauma recovery, and boost positive motivation and neuroplasticity.
Engage in movement, especially to music (like dance or kickboxing), to access states of bliss, hope, joy, and connection, as it can be a powerful source of positive emotions.
Shift your mindset about exercise away from solely burning calories or losing weight, as these extrinsic motivations can diminish the potential joy and intrinsic benefits of movement.
Begin incorporating movement into your life regardless of age, weight, physical status, chronic pain, or disability, as the psychological and social benefits of movement are accessible to everyone, even at end of life.
When suffering, first acknowledge the pain without fighting it, then apply the perspective of common humanity by recognizing others share similar struggles, and finally, take a positive action consistent with your goals to re-engage.
Reflect on whether the habit you’re trying to change is truly significant or if it’s something your inner critic has latched onto; sometimes, the real habit to cultivate is letting go of the need to control something that doesn’t deeply impact your well-being.
When experiencing a depressive state during meditation, check for curiosity about the state itself; if present, explore its physical sensations, mental qualities, and supporting thoughts or beliefs with awareness and openness, without taking it personally.
When experiencing depressive states without curiosity, engage in walking meditation by directing your attention to the external environment and the sensations of your body moving, which can bring ease to the mind and uplift the heart.
When navigating depressive states, seek additional support from a therapist or counselor, as professional guidance can be highly beneficial.
Practice Tonglen by visualizing breathing in suffering from the world, allowing it to touch your heart, and transforming it into positive qualities like hope or kindness to offer back, fostering courage and acknowledging others’ realities.
Engage in Benefactor Meditation by listing people you’re grateful for, then actively working to move neutral or ’enemy’ individuals onto that list through compassion, which can radically change your perception of life.
When you encounter someone struggling or feel personal worry, practice Tonglen on the spot by bringing to mind those dealing with amplified suffering and mentally breathing in their pain to transform it, even if a direct interaction isn’t appropriate.
When experiencing difficult emotions, practice affect labeling by clearly identifying and naming your feelings (e.g., ‘I am feeling loaded and guilty’) rather than judging the entire situation, which creates distance and changes your experience.
In moments of self-judgment, the most genuinely self-kind action is to do something consistent with your goals or to make amends in the direction of what caused the self-judgment, rather than just bribing or soothing yourself.
When facing a problem, consider simpler, more direct solutions that address the discomfort without necessarily requiring a complex habit change, such as buying new clothes if your current ones are uncomfortable.
Instead of traditional resolutions, choose a word or theme for the entire year to guide your decisions and actions, helping you align choices with your overarching intentions.
Explore various forms of movement to find one that truly lights you up and enhances your life, rather than just doing what’s cardiovascularly difficult, as movement can help you reimagine what’s possible.
Integrate movement into activities you already enjoy, such as being outdoors, listening to music, or spending time with loved ones, to make exercise more appealing and to experience both joys simultaneously.
If you’re new to exercise, commit to a minimum of six weeks to allow your brain to adapt and develop a desire for movement, making the process more enjoyable during this initial period.
Actively seek ways to make new habits more pleasurable, such as choosing delicious healthy foods or enjoying the process of grocery shopping and cooking, to leverage pleasure as a brain reward for reinforcement.
Actively celebrate and appreciate your accomplishments after engaging in a new habit, even by simply acknowledging ‘I did that, and I’m glad I did it,’ as this pause for joy reinforces the behavior and aligns with your values.
Take selfies after completing a new habit, like a workout or a healthy meal, to capture and celebrate the version of yourself that achieved something difficult or aligned with your goals, reinforcing the behavior.
To establish a morning intention practice, set a reminder the night before or use your phone (e.g., a text message) to prompt you to think about your desired word or experience for the day upon waking.
Clearly communicate to your social support network how they can best help you, whether by avoiding sabotage, offering friendly reminders, holding you accountable positively, or celebrating your successes.
If you lack curiosity or interest in exploring a depressive state during meditation, respect that feeling and do not try to force or push through it, acknowledging it as it is.
Engage in meditation and yoga practices to build inner strength, allowing you to keep your heart open to the suffering of the world and engage with it without feeling overwhelmed.
Incorporate yoga with a focus on breath into your meditation practice, as it can provide a similar benefit to seated breath-counting meditation.
Use a physically challenging or uncomfortable exercise (like spin class) as a practice ground to confront and overcome fears by intentionally staying with the discomfort and not leaving the situation.
Create and listen to empowering music playlists during challenging exercise or fearful situations (like turbulence on an airplane) to help you persist and stay present.
If breath focus is difficult, shift your meditation to ambient sounds in your environment, simply allowing them to be known without trying to identify or hear anything specific, using ‘hearing, hearing’ as a noting practice if desired.
As an alternative to breath focus, direct your awareness to overall body sensations during meditation, allowing your attention to rest on physical experiences, or use a body scan practice to systematically move attention through the body.
In meditation, whenever you notice your mind has wandered into thought, gently guide your attention back to your chosen anchor (sounds or body sensations) without judgment.
Engage in movement, especially with others, to harness the neurochemical benefits (like endocannabinoids and oxytocin) that prime you for social connection, sharing, and cooperation, strengthening bonds and providing social support.
Prioritize exercise as you age, as it can prevent and even reverse the natural decline in the brain’s capacity for everyday joy, helping you maintain receptiveness to positive experiences.
To find an enjoyable exercise habit, reflect on what forms of movement inspire you, what sports or activities you enjoy watching, or what types of movement you loved as a child, rather than focusing on weight loss.