Acknowledge and make space for different coping styles within a relationship, viewing them as a strength and complementarity rather than a threat, especially during prolonged uncertainty, to build resilience.
In challenging times, prioritize creating a functional team with your partner, responding as collaborators rather than focusing on past grievances, to develop adaptive responses to unusual situations.
Engage in physical intimacy (touch, kiss, hug) even if not initially “in the mood,” as desire often arises during the experience, and it serves as a soothing, connection-building activity that releases oxytocin and contributes to well-being.
Monitor your own stress levels and explicitly communicate them to your partner (e.g., “I’m stress level six”) to prevent reactivity and help them understand your state, fostering more understanding interactions.
Make a conscious effort to acknowledge positive actions by highlighting the underlying personality trait or characteristic (e.g., “thanks for being thoughtful”), rather than just the act itself, to strengthen relational well-being.
When addressing issues, articulate what you need (e.g., “I need you to cook lunch today”) rather than criticizing what the other person did wrong or didn’t do, as expressing needs is more vulnerable and effective than accusatory language.
Recognize and articulate the unspoken grief and sense of loss for the world as it was, including anticipatory grief, as this emotional processing is crucial for navigating prolonged uncertainty and feeling less alone.
Dedicate specific device-free time, like a “date in another room,” to give each other full attention, fostering deeper connection and serving as a ritual to calm the nervous system and create order.
Create physical and temporal boundaries and demarcations in your daily life, such as eating in a different place than you work, to prevent dysregulation and maintain a sense of order and structure.
When arguments arise over practical matters, recognize that they often stem from deeper, unarticulated fears or anxieties; articulating these underlying emotions can reduce relationship escalations.
When someone expresses fear or anxiety, especially if you have different threat responses, simply listen and acknowledge their experience without trying to talk them out of it or offer reassurance, as this makes them feel less frightened.
Understand that people have different coping styles for danger; allow others to explain their need to engage with the world, even if it seems risky, and make room for both cautious and purpose-driven responses in your relationship.
Share stories of resilience, triumph, and vulnerability from your family or community history with your partner or friends, as these narratives can provide strength, hope, and a sense of future during challenging times.
During social gatherings, occasionally ask friends what thoughts or life experiences the current situation has brought up for them, fostering deeper sharing and communal support, which is vital for mental health.
When someone is complaining, use simple validation phrases like “that sucks” to acknowledge their feelings, as merely listening and validating their experience can be extraordinarily soothing and curative.
Develop a basic disaster preparedness plan by mapping your resources, identifying who is where, who you can reach out to for help, and what you need in the house, to ensure readiness for unusual situations.
Create a schedule and preserve routines, both together and apart, to establish structure and rituals that prevent everything from bleeding into each other and maintain a sense of normalcy.
If trapped in a difficult relationship, seek out friends or colleagues to vent and commiserate with, rather than relying on your partner for emotional exchange, to find external support.
Identify and set personal goals for what you would like to accomplish during periods of confinement, leveraging the unique circumstances to pursue things you might not have done otherwise.
Adapt to a “survival mode” mindset regarding household cleanliness and organization, accepting that standards may be lower than usual, and avoid feeling that giving up perfection diminishes your identity.
When discussing household chores, avoid general complaints and instead make very concrete, practical requests (e.g., “I need you to cook lunch today”) that the other person can easily understand and act upon.
Adopt the mindset that intimacy is a fundamental part of human well-being and relational health, and even if not immediately desired, engaging in it can awaken the body and contribute to overall health.
Engage in online dating by having more conversations and taking longer to meet in person, as this context encourages deeper, more revealing discussions about important life events rather than superficial “job interview” dates.
In dating, allow imagination to explore creative forms of intimacy and connection, such as phone conversations or other practices, to maintain an erotic charge and feel alive even without physical contact.
When considering meeting a new dating partner, openly discuss and assess individual risk tolerances, living situations, and contact history, similar to public health discussions around STIs, to make informed decisions about physical interaction.
Reacquaint yourself with the basic laws of impermanence and entropy, recognizing that despite societal progress, human fragility and the randomness of existence remain, which can have salutary effects.