Recognize that your aging path is not predetermined by your parents’ experiences; you have agency in shaping your own ‘joy span’ through intentional actions.
Intentionally work on personal development and the ‘stuff’ of aging well now, regardless of your current age, to ‘pull forward’ the natural benefits of aging like wisdom and less self-importance into earlier life stages.
Reformat your mind to resist the fear-based anti-aging industry’s narrative, which profits from self-loathing, and instead focus on ‘how to age’ with vitality, purpose, friendship, and beauty.
Set healthy, personal standards for looking and feeling good, avoiding the unrealistic and ultimately suffering-inducing goal of looking unrealistically young.
When self-judging your body in the mirror, reframe it as a vehicle that has served you well for many years, extending the same compassion and acceptance to your own aging body that you would to others.
Fortify yourself internally by accepting death as a fact and choosing to live and use your ‘bonus time’ fully, rather than languishing in suffering, regret, or misery.
Apply intention and effort to nurturing your ‘inside self’ through four core habits: Grow, Connect, Adapt, and Give, which are essential for increasing your well-being and satisfaction in life.
Make a conscious decision to keep growing in many different ways, as research shows this leads to greater emotional stability and a higher sense of well-being throughout life.
Continue doing hard things and cultivate curiosity by exploring new interests or considering how you can help others, fostering ongoing personal growth.
Consciously counter negative self-talk about aging (e.g., wrinkles, needing glasses) by reminding yourself of your other qualities and accepting that aging is a new phase.
Actively seek and embrace humor in everyday situations and when trying new things, accepting that ‘stinking’ or being bad at something is the first step in growth and beneficial for your mind and longevity.
Cultivate growth by learning to be a better listener, actively ‘shutting the heck up’ to truly hear others, which can significantly improve relationships.
Cultivate and prioritize meaningful relationships, as they are a critical factor for a long, well-lived life and overall satisfaction.
Make friends of different ages, including younger individuals, to diversify your social network and avoid having all your emotional ’eggs in one basket,’ recognizing the value you have to offer.
Take the initiative to maintain friendships by picking up the phone, sending texts, making plans, offering practical help, and remembering important dates.
Actively combat loneliness by reaching out to others, even with limited mobility, and cultivating ‘micro-connections’ with people you encounter daily (e.g., learning names of service people).
Take the initiative to organize social events or groups, even if it feels like a ‘pain in the ass,’ as it fosters connection and provides personal enjoyment.
If you can’t find an existing group that fits, proactively create your own social circles, rather than waiting to be included.
Acknowledge and accept that changes, such as health setbacks or loss, are an inevitable part of a long life, rather than denying or ignoring them.
Concentrate on how you respond and adapt to unwanted life changes, as your approach significantly impacts the quality of your life.
Recognize that staying ‘forever mad’ or resentful about difficult life circumstances is a choice, and actively choose not to compound misery through persistent anger.
Employ a range of internal and external coping strategies, including journaling, meditation, gratitude practices, seeking support from friends and family, consulting a therapist, and shifting focus to others’ needs.
When struggling with your own problems, consciously shift your focus away from yourself by engaging with and helping others, which can provide a significant positive shift in perspective.
Prioritize giving of yourself (not just money) by actively looking for needs in the world and stepping in to fill them, as this profoundly impacts your experience of longevity and life.
Challenge the belief that older individuals have nothing to give; recognize that your older self brings valuable contributions and humility that the world needs.
Picture your ‘best possible future self’ (e.g., at 90 years old, actively engaged and giving) to motivate yourself to work towards that positive vision, rather than inadvertently working towards a negative one.
Use the question ‘How can I help?’ as a lens through which to view the world, setting boundaries when necessary, to improve your life at any age through cooperation and usefulness.
Embrace the liberating feeling that often comes with age, where you care less about what other people think about you.
Work to cultivate emotional stability, recognizing that it naturally increases with age, leading to a more balanced and less reactive emotional state.
Actively deepen your appreciation for friendships, nature, art, music, and stillness, and cultivate a sense of self-acceptance and collective unity that often grows with age.
Regularly assess your strengths and weaknesses across the ‘joy span matrix’ (Grow, Connect, Adapt, Give) to identify areas for intentional personal development and growth.
When your joy dips, seek out and learn from role models who have successfully navigated similar challenges and difficult experiences.
During difficult times, consciously shift your focus from limitations and what you cannot do to possibilities and what you can achieve.
Exert agency over your life circumstances by taking small, meaningful steps, rather than feeling like a victim of change.
Cultivate self-compassion by talking to yourself kindly, as you would a good friend, acknowledging efforts and learning from mistakes, rather than succumbing to a harsh inner critic.
Actively work to reshape and revolutionize societal perceptions of aging, starting with your own, to create a more positive path for future generations.
When someone compliments you by saying you don’t ’look your age,’ proudly respond with ‘This is what [my age] looks like’ to normalize and celebrate aging.