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Jameela Jamil on Mental Self-Defense

Nov 29, 2021 1h 4m 21 insights
<p>Our guest for our 400th episode is actor and activist Jameela Jamil, who you may have seen on such shows as <em>The Good Place</em>, <em>The Misery Index</em>, and <em>Legendary</em>. Outside of her acting career, Jameela is known for launching a movement and platform called <a href="http://iweighcommunity.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">I Weigh</a>. She's also the host of the <a href="https://www.earwolf.com/show/i-weigh-with-jameela-jamil/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">I Weigh podcast</a>, where she talks to everybody from Reese Witherspoon to Vivek Murthy, the US Surgeon General, to Gloria Steinem.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>This episode explores: how to develop what Jameela calls mental self-defense; how to be ruthless when it comes to personal boundaries; the difference between body positivity and body neutrality; how she handles the scrutiny and toxicity of social media; and how men can play a positive role in a world with profound double standards when it comes to looks.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: This episode touches on the topics of suicide, eating disorders, and sexuality. Any profanity has been bleeped out.</em>  </p> <p><br /></p> <p>This episode is the first in our two-part Anti-Diet Series. In this series, you'll not only have the chance to reconsider your relationship to food, eating, diet, exercise, and body image–you'll also learn practical, research-backed tools for approaching all of these things in a healthier, more mindful way. It's also the subject of our newest Challenge over in the Ten Percent Happier app. In the 7-day Anti-Diet Challenge, we are going to help you build a better relationship with food and your body. The Anti-Diet Challenge kicks off on Monday, December 6, in the Ten Percent Happier app. If you're not already a Ten Percent Happier subscriber, you can join us by starting a free trial that'll give you access to the challenge–along with our entire app. Click <a href="https://10percenthappier.app.link/install" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a> to get started.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Invest in Your Mental Health

Prioritize spending money on your mental health (e.g., therapy) over external appearance products, as it is the single greatest investment that guarantees to fill voids and make you happier.

2. Practice Mental Self-Defense

Actively protect your mind by being wary of social media and news, reducing exposure to negativity, and cutting out toxic people to safeguard your delicate mental well-being.

3. Consider EMDR Therapy

Explore Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy if struggling with trauma or eating disorders, as it can recondition your brain by making distressing thoughts mundane and breaking negative patterns.

4. Enforce Personal Boundaries Ruthlessly

Be ruthless in setting and enforcing personal boundaries, giving one chance for behavioral change, then cutting off individuals (even family) who repeatedly disrespect your needs.

5. Embrace Body Neutrality

Shift your mindset to body neutrality, viewing your body as a functional vehicle and a respected ‘best friend’ rather than obsessing over its appearance, fostering respect over love or hate.

6. Curate Social Media for Well-being

Actively curate your social media feed by unfollowing anyone who makes you feel bad and instead follow accounts that are nourishing, funny, educational, or inspiring, using ‘block, mute, delete, repeat.’

7. Defund Diet & Beauty Culture

Withhold algorithmic attention (likes, follows) from companies, magazines, and individuals that perpetuate unattainable beauty standards and diet culture, as this reaffirms their demand and power.

8. Stop Editing Your Photos

Refrain from editing your photographs before posting online, as creating a digitally altered image sets up a dangerous gap between your real self and online persona, leading to increased self-hate.

9. Challenge Beauty Standards

Refuse to conform to unequal or excessive beauty standards, particularly in professional settings, by setting boundaries on time spent on appearance to protect your mental well-being and challenge societal expectations.

10. Limit Mirror Use

Reduce your exposure to full-length mirrors or mirrors in general within your home to lessen preoccupation with body image and foster self-acceptance.

11. Prioritize Self-Preservation in Work

Prioritize your mental health by refusing career opportunities (e.g., jobs requiring weight loss) that you know would trigger unhealthy behaviors or send you into a mental health spiral.

12. Accept Change, Not Forgiveness

Adopt a stance of not forgetting or forgiving past harms to protect yourself from future incidents, while remaining open to accepting new, changed behavior from individuals and moving forward.

13. Require Radical Behavioral Change

Only extend grace and move forward with individuals who demonstrate significant, radical effort and time invested in changing their problematic behavior.

14. Broaden Romantic Choices

For men, stop consuming pornography and curate social media feeds to broaden your attraction to a wider range of people, which can lead to more fulfilling and exciting relationships.

15. Join Anti-Diet Challenge

Download the 10% Happier app and join the anti-diet challenge to learn intuitive eating and build a better relationship with food and your body, supercharged by meditation.

16. Learn from Experts Openly

Embrace a mindset of continuous learning by openly seeking knowledge from experts and admitting when you don’t know something, rather than pretending to be an expert.

17. Create Safe Learning Spaces

Seek out or create safe online and offline spaces where individuals can ask difficult questions about social justice and mental health without fear of judgment for their current level of knowledge.

18. Share Mental Health Learnings

Share your personal mental health learnings and experiences with others, especially those who may not have access to traditional support systems, to help them feel less alone.

19. Refine Cancel Culture

Advocate for a more organized and nuanced approach to ‘cancel culture’ that incorporates rehabilitation, redemption, and a tiered system for offenses, rather than blanket ostracization.

20. Follow I Weigh for Support

Follow @I_WEIGH on Instagram and listen to the I Weigh podcast for a diverse range of mental health support, education, and community engagement.

21. Use Guided Meditations

Utilize guided meditations, available on apps like ‘10% with Dan Harris,’ to help manage stress, anxiety, improve sleep, focus, and cultivate self-compassion.