Reframe your understanding of ethics as an act of enlightened self-interest, recognizing that ethical behavior is primarily about making yourself happier and fostering well-being.
Avoid actions that lead to mental rumination about past wrongdoings or the need to maintain lies, as this creates mental space for calm, quiet, and creativity.
Approach ethical guidelines (precepts) with an experimental mindset, observing for yourself what actions cause suffering or feel ‘icky’ versus what genuinely leads to well-being.
Practice Sila (Buddhist ethics) by tuning into your inner guidance system, rather than rigidly adhering to external rules, to align with your true self and foster genuine ethical behavior.
Reframe mistakes not as failures, but as integral and natural parts of the learning, growth, and strengthening process on your personal and spiritual path.
Cultivate Hiri, an inner sense of conscience or ‘ick factor,’ which is a natural desire to act with grace and care, serving as an internal feedback mechanism for ethical behavior and a point for growth.
Cultivate Otapa, a healthy awareness of the impact of your actions on others and the community, which serves as a feedback mechanism for adjusting behavior and maintaining positive relationships.
Practice forgiveness by reflecting on three areas: how you have caused harm to yourself, how you have caused harm to others, and how others have caused harm to you, fostering both forgiveness and compassion.
When apologizing, focus on genuinely acknowledging your unskillful action and its impact on the other person, rather than apologizing out of guilt or a desire to feel better about yourself.
Utilize the Eightfold Path, encompassing ethics (sila), meditation (samadhi), and wisdom (panya), as a comprehensive guide for Buddhist practice and personal growth.
Recognize that ethical conduct (Sila) is strengthened by and intertwined with mindfulness (samadhi) and wisdom (panya), indicating a holistic approach to personal development.
View the five precepts as aspirational guidelines and possibilities for behavior, rather than rigid commandments, allowing for personal interpretation and practice.
Refrain from judging others’ ethical conduct (Sila), allowing them the space to discover the consequences of their actions for themselves.
Dedicate a week to each of the five precepts, living with it and observing how it impacts your body, heart, and mind to deepen your understanding and personal experience.
Investigate the underlying reasons for lying, such as wanting to be liked or to save others’ feelings, to understand and address the root cause of untruthful speech.
Reflect on how often you lie to yourself or create dissonance to make uncomfortable situations ‘okay,’ as this can hinder genuine self-understanding and growth.
Embrace the spiritual journey as a long-term ‘path’ requiring patience and sustained effort, rather than expecting quick fixes or immediate enlightenment.
Before speaking, evaluate your words using a checklist: Is it true? Is it free of gossip or slander? Is it timely/appropriate for the situation? Is it kind? Is it useful/helpful?
Implement a six-second delay before responding in conversations, allowing the other person to fully process and express their thoughts, potentially revealing deeper insights.
Integrate active listening as a crucial component of ‘right speech,’ recognizing that effective communication is a feedback loop involving both speaking and hearing.
Become aware of and question the impulse to fill every silence with idle chatter (sampapalapa), reflecting on underlying motivations like nervousness or seeking attention.
Practice generosity in your speech and listening, speaking from a place of unhurried presence and assuming others are interested, rather than rushing or self-abbreviating due to past conditioning.
Recognize the profound impact and responsibility of your speech, understanding that words can both destroy and create beauty, especially in the age of social media.
When evaluating actions against the precepts, prioritize understanding your underlying intention, as it significantly shapes the ethical weight of an act, alongside its impact.
Beyond merely refraining from killing, actively protect and foster life, ensuring that living beings can thrive and are cared for.
Cultivate sensitivity to the impact of your actions on others and the environment, especially when societal norms might encourage disconnection from consequences.
Adhere to the precept of not stealing by only taking what has been freely and explicitly given to you, extending beyond material possessions to things like time or attention.
Practice ethical conduct (Sila) to create an environment where others feel safe and secure in your presence, fostering trust and well-being.
If you find a lost item, make every effort to return it to its rightful owner, as this action contributes to your own sense of well-being and ethical conduct.
Consciously refrain from gossip and slander, observing how much of your daily conversation is dedicated to talking about others and the impact of this practice on your speech.
Explore the underlying motivations for engaging in gossip or stretching the truth, such as the desire to be liked, to feel more interesting, or to make more friends.
Ensure all sexual interactions are fully consensual between adults, avoiding any actions that cause harm or go against another’s will.
Even within established partnerships, be mindful of how you engage sexually, avoiding withholding sex as punishment or overwhelming a partner who may not be interested, always prioritizing consent and respect.
Reflect on your use of intoxicants and whether they lead to heedlessness, causing suffering, unskillful actions, or regret, and question if continued use serves your path to liberation.
Engage in meditation not as an end in itself, but as a means to improve your overall life, fostering well-being and skillful living.
Observe and learn from recurring patterns of unskillful behavior, gradually moving from unawareness to conscious avoidance and eventually choosing entirely different paths.
If you struggle with self-compassion or Metta (loving-kindness) practice, consider engaging in self-forgiveness for past harms and transgressions as a foundational step.
Integrate short meditation practices (e.g., 5-20 minutes) into your daily routine, even in unconventional settings like your car, to foster calm and mindfulness.
Subscribe to danharris.com to access weekly live meditation and Q&A sessions (or their recordings) to deepen your practice and get questions answered.
Consider attending a meditation retreat, such as the ‘Meditation Party’ retreat, to combine serious meditation practice with discussion and socializing in a supportive environment.