Understand that pain and disappointment are inevitable parts of life, but suffering is an “add-on” that occurs when you don’t handle the pain by acknowledging “okay, this is happening” and then clearly determining what action to take.
When your mind habitually creates worry, recognize it as “your story” or “neurology,” and consciously follow it with the thought, “it’s not true, it’s not going to happen,” to subvert the adrenaline rush and prevent believing the fretful thoughts.
Strive to cultivate a mind that is spacious, expects goodness, is inclusive of others, and is not easily frightened, welcoming everyone in your “mental neighborhood” without judgment based on stories or opinions.
When encountering people or views you find terrible, recognize that “they couldn’t be other” due to their conditioning and life experiences, which allows you to release anger and avoid feeling victimized.
Practice mindfulness not just to “be here now,” but to clearly observe what is happening and your internal response, then use that clarity to choose actions that alleviate suffering and lead to greater happiness.
View mindfulness as an “all day long practice,” extending beyond formal meditation to being attentive in every moment to what is happening, how you are responding, and what action will soothe your mind and be good for others.
When practicing loving-kindness meditation, use the breath as a metronome for phrases, but focus on truly feeling the meaning of each phrase in your body and mind, allowing yourself to “tinker” with the practice to find what genuinely opens your heart.
When overwhelmed by suffering, consciously “make a bigger frame” by connecting with beauty (e.g., nature, music) or love (e.g., calling a friend), to contextualize the moment’s angst and pick up your mind.
Recognize that life is inherently precarious (“hanging on a vine”), and therefore, make a conscious effort to find and appreciate moments of joy and pleasure (“strawberries”) even amidst difficult or dire circumstances.
To sustain your social and environmental activism without becoming embittered or losing energy, rely on mindfulness and contemplative practice to advocate for peace and justice with kindness, making yourself a representative of peace.
Engage passionately in social and environmental causes, understanding that “non-attachment” does not mean detachment or indifference, but rather the ability to fervently advocate and work for change without needing assurance of the outcome.
To become kinder, reduce self-preoccupation and actively notice who around you is suffering, as this shift in attention makes you more available to respond with compassion.
When visiting sick or dying friends, aim to be present and offer love without fear or the need to “fix” them, recognizing that your presence and love are valuable in themselves.
When you perform imperfectly, avoid self-flagellation by attributing it to external factors (e.g., “the committee didn’t show up”) rather than internalizing blame, allowing for self-compassion.
When your mind gets caught on a minor annoyance or negative interaction, remind yourself, “it’s 15 seconds out of a life,” and consciously choose to let it go.
Understand that every moment of mindfulness actively erases a moment of past conditioning, so engage in continuous mindfulness throughout your day to counteract new conditioning and foster deeper understanding.
When asked “How are you?”, consider responding with “I’m managing” or “I’m coping gracefully,” as this reflects a realistic yet empowered approach to life’s challenges.
Actively work to prevent bitterness and anger from taking root in your mind, as these emotions ultimately harm only yourself.
When faced with terrible news, practice staying present and observing your reaction, aiming to feel sadness without becoming hysterical or overwhelmed, as this allows you to respond more effectively.