Practice noticing feeling tones (Vedana) earlier in their arising in the body-mind complex. This helps prevent overwhelming emotions and harmful reactions to yourself or others, as often we become aware too late.
When an unpleasant feeling tone arises, pause, observe it, and inquire how long it will last without immediately reacting or claiming it as ‘mine.’ Allowing it to pass without engagement can cause it to dissipate quickly, as demonstrated by the traffic jam example.
Learn to creatively engage with feeling tones, rather than being overwhelmed by them. This allows you to respond insightfully and constructively, as exemplified by L’Abbé Pierre’s work on homelessness, instead of pushing away or attacking.
Practice becoming intimately familiar with feeling tones (Vedana) as they arise during meditation, using it as a ‘gym’ to develop this skill. Intentionally try to become aware of the tonality of each contact (breath, sensation, sound) to deepen your mindfulness.
During meditation, explore body sensations (e.g., in knees or shoulders) to discern more defined pleasant or unpleasant feeling tones. These areas often present clearer tonalities than the breath, aiding in Vedana practice.
Practice mindfulness of Vedana by listening to sounds, especially ’the music of life,’ as sounds often evoke distinct feeling tones. When a sound stops, observe if the associated feeling tone continues or dissipates immediately to understand its impermanence.
Experiment with changing your perception of an unpleasant situation (e.g., a loud noise) by reframing its meaning. A shift in perception can transform an unpleasant feeling tone into a neutral or even pleasant one.
Examine your relationship to neutral feeling tones, especially when ’nothing is going on,’ and consider reframing it from ‘boring’ to ‘at least nothing bad is going on.’ Cultivate ‘insightful equanimity’ by perceiving neutrality as contented calm, clarity, groundedness, and stability.
Recognize that pleasantness, unpleasantness, or neutrality is not inherent in an object or person, but rather a conditioned response. This understanding helps avoid falsely attributing qualities to others and clarifies your own reactions.
When you notice a biased perception of someone, question its origin (‘Why am I perceiving this person that way?’) and actively try to perceive the person differently. Recognize that your responses and perceptions, as well as others’ behaviors, are conditioned, and ask how you can creatively engage with these conditions.
Strive to treat all people equally, regardless of their perceived status or the feeling tone they evoke. Reflect on whether your unequal treatment of others is based on personal feeling tones or societal conditioning to identify and challenge biases.
Be mindful of how social media platforms (e.g., Facebook, Twitter) are designed to reinforce pleasant and unpleasant feeling tones through likes and dislikes. Understand how these platforms can manipulate perceptions and contribute to group polarization.
Observe if you tend to fixate unpleasant feelings onto one person or group, selectively seeking out their negative traits. Recognize and break the habit of projecting and amplifying negative tonality onto others.
In daily life, practice noticing shifts in feeling tones, particularly the subtle ‘ah’ of unpleasantness, but also consciously seek out pleasant ones. When you notice a shift, pause and inquire: ‘How does it feel?’ and ‘What was the contact that triggered it?’
During frustrating situations like a traffic jam, observe your feeling tone and whether you transmit unpleasantness to those around you. Practice conscious choice in how you respond to unpleasantness and avoid spreading it.
When encountering advertising or consumer temptations (e.g., shop windows), observe your feeling tone in connection to them. Understand how external stimuli are designed to evoke pleasant feelings and drive desire.
Approach the observation of feeling tones with curiosity, seeing them as impersonal results of conditioning rather than inherent truths. This perspective allows for creative engagement with tonality, rather than reactive identification or self-judgment.
During difficult times, adopt the motto ‘Why stress? Take your time.’ This helps avoid self-harm and harm to others that can arise from stress.
Cultivate appreciation and rejoicing for all the people who help us to survive and for what is still working. This fosters a positive mindset, especially during challenging periods like a pandemic.
Actively seek to change and renew relationships by trying to see others differently, breaking automatic perceptions. This allows for a fresh perspective on interactions, especially during times of change.
Reflect on the root causes of causing harm, which are often linked to the desire to eliminate unpleasant feeling tones. Develop creative ways to engage with unpleasant tonality, internal or external, without causing harm to uphold ethical principles.
When desiring something (especially if it involves taking what’s not given), question how long the pleasant feeling tone it provides will last. This challenges craving and helps understand the impermanence of satisfaction, fostering contentment.
Cultivate contentment, potentially through a simpler life, to reduce the constant need to acquire things and ‘ratchet up’ pleasant feeling tones. This helps find lasting satisfaction beyond endless craving and consumption.
In intimate relationships, be mindful of your own pleasure without getting lost in it, consider the other person’s pleasure, and accept that pleasure is impermanent. This fosters ethical and compassionate engagement, avoiding harm and promoting mutual well-being.
Examine the underlying feeling tones (pleasant or unpleasant) that motivate lying. Understanding these root causes helps in choosing to act with integrity.
Reflect on the feeling tones (pleasant or unpleasant) that drive the use of alcohol and drugs. This helps understand the motivations behind substance use and address underlying issues.
Broaden your definition of love beyond intense pleasant feeling tones to include appreciation, sharing, and growing together. This cultivates a more realistic and sustainable form of love not solely dependent on constant pleasant feelings.
Cultivate self-love, as it makes it easier to experience pleasant feeling tones and provides a foundation for loving others. If you love yourself, it’s very easy to have a pleasant feeling tone because you are with yourself.
Extend your love to others, basing it on calm, clarity, friendliness, and appreciation. This expands your capacity for connection and cultivates a more expansive, positive feeling tone.
Use meditation and deep reflection to question and dissolve harmful automatic habits (mental, physical, relational, emotional). This process removes limitations and allows your creative potential for wisdom and compassion to emerge.
Practice ‘meditative listening’ by fully and attentively listening to others, without waiting to speak or overreacting. This deep listening fosters clarity, compassion, and allows for creative, relevant responses to emerge that you might never have thought before.
Engage in both ‘depth’ practice (e.g., meditation, retreats for focused insight) and ‘width’ practice (applying mindfulness in daily life, relationships, work). This ensures comprehensive growth by integrating insights into all aspects of life.