Choose what you want to pay attention to and commit your focus, as this practice strengthens concentration capacity in all areas of life. This leads to greater fulfillment and is a “recipe for happiness.”
When worrying about loved ones, notice projections and “doomsday spirals” as passing mind states, and return to “what’s actually here” to respond more cleanly. This often creates better patterns of relationship and helps others feel better.
Recognize “this is what’s happening” with equanimity regarding loved ones’ suffering, without avoiding or obsessing. This allows for a more present and effective response, improving relationship patterns.
Begin with self-compassion in difficult situations and actively engage in self-care activities to settle the intensity. This builds capacity, allowing you to return to the situation with more presence and clarity.
Shift your nighttime objective from “eight hours of solid unconscious sleep” to “eight hours of rest,” allowing for restorative benefits even if you meditate in the night. This reduces pressure and stress around sleep.
Calm your nervous system by reassuring yourself that whatever sleep you get is fine and not a referendum on your fitness or performance the next day. This self-talk, like you’d offer a child, is massively helpful for managing insomnia-related anxiety.
Get curious about the nature of your thoughts, asking where they are spatially, their tone, and whose voice they are. This deconstruction often cools out the thinking and can be liberating.
Ask “What is a thought?” and investigate who is doing or receiving the thinking to look for the “self” behind it. This inquiry can lead to insights about non-self and reduce the authoritative feeling of thoughts.
Choose to pay attention to something else, like the breath or ambient sounds, to reduce the robustness of intrusive thoughts. By redirecting focus, the inner narrative cools out in the background.
Substitute agonizing inner talk with more friendly messaging, such as loving-kindness phrases like “May I be well, may you be well.” This is a legitimate way to quiet the intrusive narrative.
Notice the stories and stress hormones that amplify pain, then back down into the actual physical experience of the pain itself. This helps prevent cascading stress and increases space from the suffering.
When experiencing pain, focus specifically on the “unpleasant feeling tone” of the sensation rather than proliferating stories about it. This creates space and disembeds from the inevitability of suffering.
Try either focusing directly on the center of the pain to notice radiation, or using a good distraction like doodling if direct focus is too intense. Different approaches work for different people to manage discomfort.
Engage in self-compassion practices to alleviate suffering related to chronic pain. This can provide relief and support during difficult experiences.
Identify and engage more in activities where you become so absorbed that you lose track of time. This concentrated attention is a “medicine for the nervous system” and a source of inherent fulfillment.
At the beginning of your meditation, explicitly drop in a question about a block or what you need to know, then let it go and sit quietly. Insights can spontaneously emerge from your subconscious.
Recognize that plateaus in meditation are normal and part of the process, and continue to show up for practice despite feeling stuck. Persistence will lead to change and eventual unblocking.
If experiencing a plateau, seek advice from a meditation teacher or experiment with shifting the object or method of your meditation. Trying different techniques can unblock progress and help find a new “stream.”
When dealing with difficult family members, drop any specific agenda for conversations and instead cultivate a compassionate presence. This approach often creates opportunities to mediate more skillfully.
In challenging family situations, practice loving-kindness (Metta) or compassion (Karuna) for everyone involved, including yourself. This practice can help stop trying to control the situation, reduce self-pity, and cultivate patience.