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How to Thrive Under Stress | Elizabeth Stanley, PhD

Dec 4, 2019 1h 16m 19 insights
Elizabeth Stanley has a long history of stress and trauma. In this episode she talks about the adversities she has suffered, which include a near death experience and losing her eyesight for extended periods of time from contracting Lyme disease while serving in the military. After decades of "powering through" and not dealing with her difficult emotions, she reached a breaking point. That's when her healing journey began and she found meditation, sitting multiple long retreats. Stanley has since created a resilience training program, called Mindfulness-based Mind Fitness Training, that she has taught to military troops and to people working in high-stress situations. Her book, "Widen the Window," offers tools on thriving during stress and recovering from trauma. Plugzone: Website: https://elizabeth-stanley.com/ "Widen the Window": https://www.amazon.com/Widen-Window-Training-Thrive-Recover/dp/0735216592 Insiders Feedback Group: https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4 Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Sleep for Recovery

If you can only pick one habit, prioritize improving your sleep, as it allows your system to recover deeply while the thinking brain is offline, which is crucial for overall health, cognitive function, and emotional regulation.

2. Practice Self-Compassion

Avoid self-criticism and shame by recognizing that many unhelpful habits are deeply conditioned and were once adaptive, and that willpower is degraded under stress, which is not a personal failing but a neurobiological reality.

3. Approach Habit Change as Experimentation

Treat habit change like a scientific experiment: pick one habit, commit to it for 3-4 weeks (or a month for difficult ones), journal your observations, and then adjust based on what you learn, maintaining nonjudgmental curiosity.

4. Understand Your Habits’ “Why”

In a rested and regulated state, investigate the triggers and underlying needs that unhelpful habits temporarily fulfill, then brainstorm healthier alternatives to meet those needs effectively, rather than relying on pseudo-regulators.

5. Cultivate Awareness & Reflection

Engage in meditation or mindfulness practices to train your attention, which helps the survival brain feel safe and enables the necessary recovery from stress, as recovery only happens in a state of perceived safety.

6. Optimize Diet for Gut Health

Maintain a healthy microbiome by consuming probiotics and low inflammatory foods, reducing sugar intake, and cutting back on caffeine, as these support gut health and serotonin production, which impacts anxiety and depression.

7. Engage in Regular Exercise

Incorporate cardiovascular exercise, strength training, and stretching into your routine to discharge excess stress hormones, boost immunity, and improve sleep quality, as these activities help regulate your system.

8. Cultivate Strong Social Connections

Actively build and maintain meaningful social relationships during stable times, as these strong connections are a crucial window-widening habit that provides support and resilience during stressful periods.

9. Seek Exposure to Nature

Regularly expose yourself to natural environments, such as walking through a park, because being in regulated situations helps your nervous system move towards regulation and reduces background stress.

10. Avoid Devaluing Your Own Stress

Do not dismiss or devalue your personal stress by comparing it to others’ ‘worse’ experiences, as this thinking-brain reframing ignores physiological processes and prevents your body from recovering.

11. Use Mindfulness for Impulse Control

Apply mindfulness to control impulses and read situations without negativity bias, especially in high-stress scenarios (e.g., military, police), which helps diffuse conflict and reduces the likelihood of unethical or regrettable actions.

12. Recognize Stress Contagion

Be aware that much of your stress may originate from others (attachment figures, power differences) or the environment; take conscious steps to stay regulated so you don’t constantly absorb external stress and emotions vicariously.

13. Leverage Social Support for Habits

Harness the power of social connections by partnering with others (e.g., a workout buddy or spouse) to pursue healthy habits, as shared commitment and support make it easier to sustain efforts and navigate resistance.

14. Pre-plan Healthy Responses

Develop a list of alternative healthy actions when in a rested and regulated state, so you have readily available options to turn to during moments of high stress when willpower and decision-making capacity are degraded.

15. Create Intentional Pre-Sleep Routine

Establish a calming pre-sleep routine by disengaging from electronics an hour before bed, avoiding late cardiovascular exercise, alcohol, and sugar, and opting for gentle activities to ensure deeper, more restorative sleep.

16. Manage Interrupted Sleep

If your sleep is interrupted, prioritize making up the lost time and ensure subsequent sleep is high-quality by avoiding stimulating activities or unhealthy foods before returning to bed.

17. Use Meditation/Relaxation for Sleep

Incorporate short meditation (10-15 minutes), gentle stretching, or a warm bath before bed to help your system wind down and improve overall sleep quality, even if it’s not formal meditation.

18. Commit to Self-Care Investment

Recognize that investing time in self-care habits is non-negotiable; choose to allocate time for them now to prevent greater costs later from accumulated stress and systemic wear and tear.

19. Start with One Small Shift

Begin your journey towards health and balance with even one small shift, as this can create positive inertia and ripple effects leading to significant transformations over time.