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How to Suffer Well – So You Can Suffer Less | Brother Pháp Dung

Mar 26, 2025 1h 5m 21 insights
<p dir="ltr">Brother Pháp Dung discusses the life and teachings of Vietnamese Zen master, peace activist, poet, and author <a href="https://plumvillage.org/about/thich-nhat-hanh/">Thich Nhat Hanh</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr">In January 2022, <a href="https://plumvillage.org/about/thich-nhat-hanh/">Thich Nhat Hanh</a>, the Vietnamese Zen master, peace activist, poet, and author passed away. He was the founder of the <a href="https://plumvillage.org/">International Plum Village Community of Engaged Buddhism</a>. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. called him "an Apostle of peace and nonviolence" when nominating him for the Nobel Peace Prize. Thousands of people came out for his funeral.   </p> <p dir="ltr">Brother Pháp Dung is making his second appearance on the show to talk about Thich Nhat Hanh. If you missed it <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/brother-phap-dung-320">last time</a> he was on, Brother Pháp Dung has an incredible personal story. He was born in Vietnam in 1969 and came to the US at the age of nine. He worked as an architect/designer for four years before becoming a monk. He was very close personally with Thich Nhat Hanh, who he refers to as "Thây," or teacher, and is now a Dharma teacher himself in Thich Nhat Hanh's Plum Village tradition.</p> <p>This episode was first published in March 2022.</p> <p dir="ltr">This episode explores:</p> <ul> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">The life of Thich Nhat Hanh: his path to Buddhism in the 1960's and his exile from Vietnam for opposing the war.</p> </li> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">The meaning of "wrong view" or wrong perception. </p> </li> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">What non-separation and inter-being is. </p> </li> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">Thich Nhat Hanh's view that birth and death are only notions.</p> </li> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">Grief, and why learning how to suffer will help you suffer less.</p> </li> </ul> <p> </p>
Actionable Insights

1. Counter Extreme Individualism

Recognize that extreme individualism, focused on individual achievement, winning, acquiring, and getting known, is not a winning strategy for deep and abiding happiness. Shift focus away from this to find more profound contentment.

2. Embrace Interbeing for Connection

Understand and practice ‘interbeing,’ the concept that when someone else suffers, it’s also your suffering, and when they are happy, you are also happy. This serves as ‘medicine for individualism’ and fosters deeper connection.

3. Identify & Correct Wrong Perceptions

Recognize that wrong perceptions or views about what constitutes a meaningful life and about other people are the root of suffering and conflict. Actively work to identify and correct these views to foster peace and contentment.

4. Cultivate Complete, Empathetic Views

Challenge incomplete or wrong perceptions by seeking to understand the full history and conditions that shape others’ behaviors and views. This practice leads to more empathy, compassion, and understanding, reducing hate and blame.

5. Practice “Are You Sure?” Mantra

Regularly question your perceptions and views by asking yourself, ‘Are you sure?’ This mantra introduces doubt, which opens the mind to further investigation and prevents being locked into rigid beliefs.

6. Self-Care Enables Interconnection

Prioritize taking care of yourself and creating inner space. When you are whole and balanced, you have more capacity to be open, listen, and allow genuine interconnection with others.

7. Integrate Contemplation & Action

Combine contemplative practices like meditation with active service to others, especially those suffering. This approach, known as engaged Buddhism, ensures sustainability and resilience, preventing burnout while helping.

8. Revive Self Through Contemplation

When engaging in service or going against difficult situations, recognize the need for contemplation and self-revival to prevent burnout and maintain resilience.

9. Release Fixed Self-Identity Attachment

Recognize that attachment to a fixed, unique self-identity is a root of suffering. Understand that you are a continuation of ancestors and environment, and that clinging to one form or identity creates suffering.

10. Recognize Constant Life-Death Cycle

Understand that birth and death are continuous cycles, not just singular events. Recognize that you are living and dying in each moment as cells yield to new ones, fostering a deeper appreciation for constant change.

11. Learn to Suffer Well

Embrace suffering fully and authentically, rather than resisting it. By learning ‘how to suffer well’ – for example, by allowing yourself to cry without shame – you will ultimately suffer less.

12. Reconcile Grief with Continuation

When grieving, reconcile with loss by seeing the continuation of the loved one’s life force in yourself, others, and the community, rather than clinging to their unique form. Allow sadness but avoid attachment to the past form.

13. Acknowledge & Honor Inner Seasons

Recognize and honor the natural cycles of emotions, understanding that not every period will be joyful or productive. Be okay with ‘winter’ periods of sadness or difficulty, rather than expecting constant ‘spring.’

14. Seek Community for Support

Actively seek and engage with a supportive community or like-minded friends. This provides accountability, reinforces interbeing, and offers crucial support for navigating life’s difficulties and suffering well.

15. Simplify Life, Reorient Priorities

Simplify your life by reorienting towards what truly matters, rather than constantly seeking more or filling every moment. Create space in your day and life to address underlying dissatisfaction and nourish your human and spiritual aspects.

16. Practice Mindfulness as Remembering

Understand mindfulness (smirti) as remembering to be present and aware, rather than forgetful. This includes remembering who you are, your continuation, and being grateful for being alive, helping to overcome being caught in negative thoughts.

17. Practice Interbeing as Concentration

Treat ‘interbeing’ not just as a concept but as a concentration practice. Actively hold and maintain this awareness in daily activities, such as drinking tea or turning on water, to cultivate deeper insight into interconnectedness.

18. Practice Compassion While Driving

When driving, especially in stressful situations, practice compassion and non-separation by acknowledging others’ hurriedness or anger without harboring hate. Understand that their actions might stem from stress or distress, fostering empathy.

19. Acknowledge Multiple Valid Perspectives

When mediating or observing arguments, recognize that multiple perspectives can be valid simultaneously. Avoid taking a side or having a fixed view, as this openness can reduce conflict.

20. Counter Materialism with Service

Actively counterbalance the cultural pull of materialism by engaging in service, offering, and helping others, especially the less fortunate. This fosters a more compassionate and less self-centered existence.

21. Support Community Centers for Connection

Advocate for and support the creation of community centers in urban environments, similar to gyms, where people can connect with themselves, with nature, and with others, fostering a sense of belonging and spiritual well-being.