When experiencing strong emotions or discomfort, mentally affirm, ‘It’s okay if this is here for the rest of my life,’ to release the grip of aversion and allow the emotion to wash through.
When thoughts arise, ask ‘What is a thought?’ phenomenologically, rather than focusing on its content. This practice reveals thoughts as ephemeral and insubstantial, reducing their dictatorial power over your mind.
Recognize emotions as impersonal mind states, not ‘I’ or ‘self,’ understanding they arise and pass due to conditions, like clouds. This helps free you from suffering caused by identification.
Focus on reducing the ‘second arrow’ of mental suffering (resistance, fear, anger) that you add to inevitable physical or emotional pain. The first arrow is unavoidable, but your reaction to it is not.
Instead of striving to ’let go’ of experiences, practice ’letting be’ with them. Allow experiences to flow and change naturally without intervention, which organically facilitates release and reduces struggle.
When encountering discomfort or challenging experiences, relax into them without holding on or pushing away. This practice, at the ’edges’ of your comfort zone, gradually expands your capacity for equanimity.
When experiencing physical pain, drop conceptual labels (e.g., ‘knee pain’) and focus on raw, elemental sensations like tightness or burning. This helps perceive their impermanent and impersonal nature, reducing personal identification.
Train yourself to accept both pleasant and unpleasant experiences with equanimity, without resistance or fear. This increases your capacity to hold difficult situations, creating greater ease in life.
Practice training your mind to remain unafflicted even when the body is afflicted. This involves working with manageable pain by sitting with it and relaxing into the experience, rather than immediately seeking to alleviate it.
When experiencing desire, examine its underlying motivation (e.g., greed, ambition, compassion). This helps you understand whether the desire is wholesome or unwholesome and its potential karmic consequences.
Allow preferences to exist without becoming attached to them. This means that if a preference is not met (e.g., a desired meal), it does not cause a ripple of suffering or dissatisfaction.
Remember that ’things are always becoming otherwise’ to foster acceptance of change and instability. Letting go of the expectation that things should be stable or stay the same reduces suffering.
Before acting, pause to examine your motivation and consider the karmic consequences. Ask yourself: ‘Where is this act coming from, where is it leading, and do I want to go where it’s leading?’
Cultivate loving-kindness and goodwill towards others, as the internal experience of these intentions is inherently more pleasant and brings greater happiness, regardless of external outcomes.
When an impulse to give arises, act on it without second-guessing or seeking specific situations. This practice, whether a small gesture or a larger act, consistently brings joy and positive karmic results.
Strive to establish a wholesome and skillful relationship with your parents, even if challenging, recognizing the karmic connection and responsibility.
Embrace the understanding that ’time is not a factor’ on the spiritual path. This fosters patience and perseverance, preventing discouragement from a perceived lack of immediate results.
When encountering teachings (like rebirth) that are beyond your current experience, adopt an ‘I don’t know’ stance rather than outright disbelief. This is considered ’not wrong view’ and maintains openness.
Consider inclining towards belief or acting as if certain teachings (e.g., karma across lifetimes) are true, even if you ‘don’t know.’ This can significantly boost motivation and practice due to perceived vast consequences.
Mindfully observe any arising desire or wanting without trying to make it go away. Witness its natural disappearance to experience the immediate release, ease, and peace of a mind free of wanting.
Ensure all aspects of your practice—mindfulness, effort, concentration, etc.—are aligned with ‘right view.’ This foundational understanding sets the correct direction for your path to awakening.
Engage in skillful acts like generosity even if your motivation isn’t perfectly pure or is ’tainted’ by some attachment. An imperfect skillful act is still considered better than no skillful act.
Approach Buddhist teachings with a skeptical but open mind, verifying them through direct personal experience and observation in ’the laboratory of your own mind,’ rather than taking them at face value.
Ground your entire spiritual journey in ethical behavior and the principle of non-harming. This foundation provides safety and gives the ‘gift of fearlessness’ to everyone you meet.
For deeply conditioned or traumatic emotional patterns, be open to using multiple modalities such as therapy and meditation, recognizing that one approach alone may not be sufficient for loosening these knots.
Download the Waking Up app via wakingup.com/10percent to access a four-part conversation on the Eightfold Path, guided meditations, and a 30-part lecture series on Buddhism by Joseph Goldstein.
If money is an issue, request a scholarship for the Waking Up app or Dan Harris’s offerings at danharris.com, as both platforms provide access if you cannot afford it.
For a community vibe, direct access to Dan Harris, and an ad-free version of the podcast, go to his Substack.