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How To Stay Open and Curious Even When You're Exhausted or Annoyed | Sarah Ruhl

Oct 29, 2025 1h 14m 31 insights
<p dir="ltr">An antidote to boredom and stuckness.</p> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.sarahruhlplaywright.com/">S</a><a href="https://www.sarahruhlplaywright.com/">arah Ruhl</a> is an award-winning American playwright, author, essayist, and professor. Her latest book is <a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Lessons-from-My-Teachers/Sarah-Ruhl/9781668034965"> Lessons from My Teachers: From Preschool to the Present</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr"> </p> <p dir="ltr">In this episode we talk about:</p> <ul> <li dir="ltr">How to orient towards the world with an eagerness to learn </li> <li dir="ltr">How to approach our lives not only as students, but also as teachers</li> <li dir="ltr">Unpacking the moment when "the student becomes the master"</li> <li dir="ltr">What does it mean to have a meditation teacher? </li> <li dir="ltr">Being open to synchronicity or signs from the universe</li> <li dir="ltr">Is everything magic? </li> <li dir="ltr">What Sarah's learned from the venerable psychiatrist Dr. Mark Epstein</li> <li dir="ltr">What it means to "leave an emotion alone"<strong><br /></strong></li> </ul> <p dir="ltr">Related Episodes: </p> <ul> <li dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.danharris.com/p/a-deeply-healthy-kind-of-perfectionism-6e8?utm_source=publication-search"> A Deeply Healthy Kind of Perfectionism | Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo</a></li> <li dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.danharris.com/p/how-to-find-joy-in-an-anxious-world?utm_source=publication-search"> How To Find Joy In an Anxious World |Sara Bareilles and Dacher Keltner</a></li> <li dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.danharris.com/p/sara-bareilles-anxiety-anger-and-567?utm_source=publication-search"> Sara Bareilles: Anxiety, Anger, and Art</a></li> </ul> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Join Dan's online community <a href="http://www.danharris.com/">here</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Follow Dan on social: <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J">TikTok</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Subscribe to our <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD">YouTube Channel</a></p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Tickets are now on sale for a special live taping of the 10% Happier Podcast with guest Pete Holmes! Join us on November 18th in NYC for this benefit show, with all proceeds supporting the New York Insight Meditation Center. Grab your tickets <a href="https://www.nyimc.org/event/great-cosmic-joke/">here</a>! <strong><br /> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr"> </p> <p dir="ltr">To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit <a href="https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris">https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris</a></p> <p dir="ltr"> </p> <p dir="ltr">Thanks to our
Actionable Insights

1. Orient as Perpetual Student

Actively orient your life as a perpetual student, approaching the world with curiosity and a willingness to learn from everything and everyone. This mindset helps avoid boredom and reconnects you with the richness of being alive.

2. Practice Wise Selfishness

Adopt the Dalai Lama’s concept of ‘wise selfishness’ by focusing on the benefit of others. Thinking about how you can be useful to others ultimately leads to greater personal happiness.

3. Teach with Intention

Recognize that you are constantly teaching through your actions, especially as a parent or boss. Be mindful and intentional about the lessons you impart, choosing to act with love rather than mindlessly.

4. Seek Flesh-and-Blood Teachers

Actively seek out other people as teachers, prioritizing flesh-and-blood interactions over purely digital or AI sources. The tangible ‘relation’ with a real person provides unique reflective energy and impact.

5. Maintain Openness as Teacher

As a teacher or mentor, remain open to learning from your students, recognizing that roles can fluidly interchange. This prevents rigidity and fosters a dynamic learning environment.

6. Reflect on Past Teachers

Take time to reflect on all the individuals who have taught you throughout your life, even for basic skills. This practice cultivates gratitude and increases your openness to future learning opportunities.

7. Learn from Anyone

Cultivate a willingness to learn from anyone who crosses your path, regardless of their formal role or your relationship with them. This expands your sources of wisdom beyond traditional mentors.

8. Learn from Annoying People

Practice gratitude even towards annoying or difficult people, viewing them as teachers who help you develop patience and work on personal growth.

9. Cultivate Clarity & Warmth

In your meditative or spiritual practice, strive to cultivate both intellectual understanding (light) and heartfelt compassion (warmth). This balance ensures a rich, connected, and not cold or detached practice.

10. Leave Emotions/Thoughts Alone

Practice acknowledging emotions or thoughts without continually ‘poking at’ or analyzing them, then allow them to naturally dissipate. This prevents getting stuck in unproductive rumination and exacerbating emotional wounds.

11. Use ‘Dead End’ for Rumination

When you find yourself caught in unhelpful or repetitive thought patterns, mentally interject with the phrase ‘dead end.’ This technique helps to stop unproductive thinking and conserve mental energy.

12. Strive for Lightness

Adopt ’lightness’ as a primary goal in your personal growth and spiritual practices. This implies a reduction of suffering and a more unburdened, less serious way of being.

13. ‘Lighten Up’ for Enlightenment

Reframe the concept of enlightenment as ’lightening up,’ which involves taking yourself less seriously and personally. This shift can make you more available and less contracted around your views.

14. Develop Inner Teacher

Engage in meditation to observe your own mind, which can help you develop an ‘inner teacher’ for self-guidance and support during challenges. This fosters an internal relationship for personal growth.

15. Self-Mentor in Extremis

Channel your capacity for mentoring others towards yourself, offering internal support and encouragement when you are in difficult or extreme situations.

16. Create Personal Reminders

Implement personal reminders, such as a specific phrase or a visual cue, to consistently adopt and maintain a desired mindset or behavior. This helps counteract forgetfulness in daily life.

17. Pause Before Reacting

In frustrating or challenging situations, create a pause before reacting to consider the lessons your behavior might be imparting to others, especially children. This allows for more intentional responses.

18. Learn from Teacher’s Presence

Seek opportunities to spend time with wise individuals or teachers, even informally, to learn implicitly by observing their presence and how they handle various situations.

19. Cultivate Positive Peer Pressure

Intentionally surround yourself with positive influences and peers who model desirable behaviors. This creates a beneficial ‘peer pressure’ that continuously reinforces personal growth.

20. Avoid Working with Assholes

Make a conscious choice to avoid working with individuals who are difficult or unpleasant. This protects your well-being and fosters a more positive and productive work environment.

21. Practice Teaching to Build Confidence

If you experience imposter syndrome about teaching or sharing your knowledge, overcome it by actively practicing and just trying to teach. Confidence often develops through doing.

22. Teach with Love

Allow your willingness to teach to be animated by a deep love for your subject, your art form, or the desire for your passion to continue beyond yourself.

23. Approach Grief Indirectly

When dealing with intense grief or overwhelming emotions, consider approaching them indirectly through creative expression or other oblique methods. This can aid processing without direct confrontation.

24. Adapt Emotional Expression

If facial expressions are limited or difficult to convey, find alternative ways to express emotions like joy and love, such as through your voice or hand gestures. This ensures your intentions are communicated effectively.

25. Use Non-Facial Listening Cues

When listening, use non-facial cues like hand gestures or verbal affirmations (e.g., murmuring) to demonstrate attentiveness. This helps others feel heard and understood, especially if facial mirroring is not possible.

26. View Everything as Magic

Adopt the perspective that ’everything is magic’ or a result of an ‘ocean of causes and conditions.’ This mindset can ‘wake you up’ to the wonder and interconnectedness of reality.

27. Cultivate Openness to New Experiences

Develop an open mind towards new experiences or things you’ve historically disliked. This openness can lead to unexpected enjoyment and learning.

28. Develop Persistence from Rejection

View rejection not as a failure, but as an opportunity to practice and develop persistence. This mindset is crucial for achieving goals in any field with frequent setbacks.

29. Analyze Rejection for Progress

When facing rejection, analyze the details and ‘gradations’ of the rejection (e.g., personalized feedback vs. form letter). This helps identify signs of progress and prevents fixation solely on the ’no.’

30. Cultivate Resilience with Bad Teachers

When encountering a ‘bad teacher’ or difficult situation, focus on cultivating your own resilience and well-being to navigate the experience. Learning self-preservation is a valuable outcome.

31. Reject Hated Assignments

Learn to identify and, if possible, reject assignments or tasks that you genuinely dislike and that go against your core inclinations. This helps preserve your enthusiasm and joy for your work.