Actively reframe your life crises and challenges as puzzles instead of problems. This mindset shift can bring huge relief, make you more creative, clearer, and persistent by focusing on solutions rather than negativity.
When engaging with someone you disagree with (politically, spousally, professionally), approach the conversation as a mutual puzzle to solve. Focus on understanding why you differ and what solutions you can explore together, which is less stressful and more productive than arguing.
Actively cultivate curiosity and gratitude as your preferred states of mind. These drives are considered powerful for improving your perspective, understanding others, and enhancing your daily interactions.
Embrace the principle that it’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting. Force yourself to perform desired behaviors (e.g., gratitude, compassion) even if you don’t feel them initially, as this can trick your mind into adopting new identities and mindsets.
Talk to yourself out loud during stressful situations to calm down, challenge negative thoughts, and reframe problems as solvable puzzles. Hearing your thoughts out loud can reveal their irrationality, helping you regain control and seek solutions.
When someone speaks, practice reflective listening by briefly repeating back the essence of what they said in your own words. This makes others feel heard and understood, prevents you from jumping to conclusions, and enables a wiser response.
Cultivate a ‘beginner’s mind’ by approaching situations without preconceived notions or the belief that you already know the answer. This helps overcome biases and allows for fresh, unconventional solutions to emerge, especially when stuck on a problem.
Dedicate 10 to 15 minutes each morning to brainstorm random ideas about anything, even if 98% are terrible. This practice creates new neural pathways, helps your mind break out of ruts, and encourages ’thinking outside the box.’
Adopt a flexible approach to meditation, finding what works best for you rather than adhering to rigid rules about how and when to meditate. Start with just ‘one minute daily-ish’ and remember that noticing distractions and restarting is correct practice.
Use brief moments of boredom or waiting (e.g., in an Uber, for an elevator) for ‘microwave meditations.’ Focus on your breathing or engage in sensory noticing (e.g., 5 sights, 5 feelings, 3 sounds) to practice mindfulness and prevent your mind from wandering negatively.
Actively counter your negative bias by listing hundreds of things that go right every day, even small ones, as opposed to focusing on the few that go wrong. This practice helps shift your perspective towards positivity.
Make an effort to notice and express gratitude for small, often overlooked details, such as a well-designed logo or a pleasant product. This not only makes others feel appreciated but also enhances your ‘awesomeness radar’ and counters negativity bias.
Make a conscious two-second effort to make eye contact and acknowledge the humanity of service workers and strangers. These ‘micro-interactions’ are good for your mental health and create a virtuous cycle of positive social connection.
Force yourself to speak only good things about people (unless they are truly harmful) and actively try to find the positive in them. This behavior can rewire your brain to perceive more goodness in others and counter the urge to gossip.
Embrace rituals, whether religious or secular (e.g., birthday parties, annual gatherings, morning routines), that are meaningful and don’t cause harm. Rituals can provide structure, connection, and bind humans together.
Prioritize a balanced approach to health that integrates strong social connections and stress management (e.g., meditation, sleep) alongside diet and exercise. An unhealthy obsession with diet or exercise at the expense of social life is counterproductive.
Be wary of apophenia (seeing patterns in random noise) and avoid falling in love with your hypotheses. Maintain intellectual humility and a flexible mind, always being open to the possibility that your ideas or interpretations could be wrong.
When facing a problem, try ’turning it on its head’ or reversing your usual approach. This creative thinking can lead to more efficient and powerful solutions, such as taking the hamper to the clothes instead of the clothes to the hamper.
To facilitate sleep, go through the alphabet (A-Z or starting elsewhere) and think of something you’re grateful for for each letter. Alternatively, simply list a bunch of things you are grateful for before bed.
Practice discipline by avoiding phone use for two hours before bedtime to prepare your mind for sleep and reduce restlessness. If you can’t sleep, get out of bed and engage in a calming activity like reading or walking meditation until you feel ready for sleep.
If you’re struggling to sleep, use self-talk to reassure yourself that you’ve survived similar situations and will be fine, reducing anxiety about sleep loss. This calming inner dialogue can help you fall asleep.
Cultivate tenacity and grit by engaging in challenging, long-term intellectual pursuits, even if they seem ‘crazy.’ Observing others’ sustained effort on difficult problems can be inspiring for developing persistence.
When tackling complex problems, especially in a group, consider specialization within the team. Dividing tasks based on individual strengths can lead to more creative and efficient problem-solving.
Engage with puzzles during crises or trying times, as they have historically provided a helpful outlet and distraction during difficult periods, such as the Great Depression and COVID-19.
Recognize that ‘forgetting’ is a major obstacle to personal growth and commit to repeated reminders and consistent practice of new habits and insights. This continuous reinforcement is necessary for integration into daily life.
Consider downloading the ‘10% with Dan Harris’ meditation app for a library of guided meditations, weekly live Zoom community sessions, and ad-free podcast episodes. A 14-day trial is available at danharris.com.