Ask yourself how you truly want to feel in your life, using your best moments as a guide (often involving love and connection). This foundational question helps design habits of thought and action to cultivate those feelings more often.
Once you’ve identified how you want to feel, design your life and daily actions around cultivating those feelings. This involves understanding what adds to or takes away from those feelings and optimizing for more of the good.
Avoid becoming overly attached to specific visions of how your life or outcomes should be, as this vision may be incorrect and leads to an “inner clench” that hinders responding well to reality. Instead, hold goals loosely, recognizing that what you perceive as “best” might not be.
Avoid using present tense labels for negative conditions (e.g., “my anxiety”) and instead refer to them in the past tense (e.g., “the anxiety I’ve had in the past”). This helps the subconscious break identification with unwanted states and prevents them from continuing.
Be willing to let go of old stories about yourself and your past that limit your potential. Relanguage your personal history to create new possibilities and expand what you believe is achievable.
Adopt four daily goals: 1) Give the best of what you have, acknowledging some days are less productive. 2) Be fully present, engaging heart, mind, and body without fear. 3) Practice gratitude, as it links to inner peace and strength. 4) Focus on your routines and only what you can control.
At the end of each day, grade yourself on a scale of one to five for each of the four daily goals (giving your best, being present, gratitude, focusing on routines). This self-assessment helps track progress and identify areas for learning and growth.
Develop the courage to face any feeling, especially uncomfortable ones, as this willingness opens up possibilities and diminishes fear. This means not running from discomfort but sitting in it, recognizing it as a teacher and an edge of growth.
Actively seek out feelings of discomfort or those you typically avoid, as these represent the edge of your beliefs and potential for growth. Sitting in this discomfort can diminish fear and expand possibilities.
To experience a deep sense of joy—defined as well-being, freedom, and gratitude independent of circumstances—cultivate a life of sacrificial love. This involves having strict boundaries while giving what is most loving, prioritizing the group, and acting fearlessly.
Adopt an “inner excellence mindset” where your ambition and competition are framed not for personal aggrandizement, but to raise your own level of excellence (learning, growing in love, wisdom, courage) with the ultimate goal of raising it in others. This service-oriented approach leads to a more fearless and fulfilling life.
Before performing or competing, use the “Expect Nothing” tool: take a long, slow, deep breath in while saying “I expect,” hold it, then exhale while saying “nothing.” This practice helps detach from specific outcomes, fostering a mindset of having no needs and being able to handle anything that arises.
Practice using phrases like “there is anger” or “there is sadness” instead of “I am angry” to create distance from emotions. This helps you not identify with negative states, making them more workable and less innate.
Dedicate 10-20 minutes daily to a prayerful meditation, using a timer and specific music to connect with your purpose and a sense of being loved and delighted in. This practice helps program your mind with self-worth, reducing the need to seek validation from external “palms” (possessions, achievements, looks, money, status).
Pre-plan the first hour of your day to avoid decision fatigue and align with your purpose. This includes having specific music, hydration, exercise, and meditation routines.
Curate a specific playlist of music that connects you to your purpose and desired feelings, playing it consistently (e.g., the same playlist in the same order) during your morning routine. This helps align your mind and program it with empowering messages.
Engage in practices like guided meditation to rewire your inner dialogue, as this is a key part of peak performance and can help manage self-criticism.