Become aware that pain is usually made of three components: physical sensations, emotional reactions, and cognitive thoughts/stories. Regularly ask yourself which component is creating the biggest suffering right now to understand and address it effectively.
Always begin by snapping out of autopilot and acknowledging ’there’s pain here right now,’ rather than identifying as ‘I am in pain.’ This creates a crucial space for observation and choice.
When caught in anxious or ruminative thoughts about pain, shift your attention to a sensory anchor like your breath or the feeling of your feet on the floor. This redirects your limited attention span away from unhelpful narratives.
When focusing on physical pain, ‘zoom in’ by describing sensations with specific, neutral qualities (e.g., pressure, heat, tearing, stabbing) instead of judging labels (e.g., ‘killing me,’ ‘monster’). This helps you engage with raw data rather than amplifying suffering with stories.
Acknowledge that your experience is hard with kindness, placing a hand on your heart or the painful area. Connect with the shared humanity of others experiencing similar pain, reminding yourself ’this is a moment of struggle’ and ’this is what it feels like for somebody in my situation.’
If words for self-compassion feel ‘corny,’ try a physical gesture like placing your hand on the painful part of your body or holding your own hand. This ‘stealth touch’ can communicate support to your nervous system, leveraging the power of touch to reduce pain levels.
Recognize anger as an energetic signal that boundaries have been crossed or something needs to change. Instead of acting out, use the impulse to say ‘stop enough’ as information to address the situation wisely, rather than causing harm to yourself or others.
When experiencing strong emotions like anger, locate the sensation in your body and ‘create space’ around it, like giving a wild horse a wide corral. Hold the emotion without engaging with its story, trusting that its energy will naturally calm down over time.
To address resentment, begin by setting the intention to forgive a situation, another person, or yourself. Repeat phrases like ‘out of my own ignorance, fear, or being stuck, I made this mistake’ daily, trusting that consistent practice will gradually foster forgiveness and freedom.
In meditation, if pain is present but not overwhelming, use it as the object of your attention to deepen concentration (samadhi). By staying with the raw, changing sensations without fear, pain can transform into an intense, non-painful experience.
When meditating with pain or other unpleasant experiences, observe if you are doing so with a subtle or overt agenda ‘in order to’ make it go away. Simply noticing this desire or resistance allows for greater freedom and letting go.
Shift from taking pain personally (‘why me?’) to seeing it as a part of the human experience (’this is what a body feels like that experiences this particular pain’). This reframing helps to disengage the nervous system from activating through personal stories of unfairness.
Recognize that while you may not control the presence of pain or emotions, you can choose how you relate to them. This act of choosing allows you to take back control and reduce suffering.
Do not allow the presence of pain to dictate your capacity for joy and a meaningful life. Even if pain doesn’t go away, commit to practices that enhance your quality of life, happiness, and engagement.