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How to Keep Your Cool in a Room Full of Chaos Gremlins | Jeff Warren

Dec 7, 2025 12m 7s 7 insights
<p dir="ltr">If you've ever found yourself immediately abandoning your adult composure the second someone around you gets upset, we've got your back.</p> <p dir="ltr">In today's episode, the inimitable Jeff Warren returns with a practice to help you stop absorbing everyone else's stress and start holding healthy boundaries without turning into a jerk. Jeff — who is both a dear friend of Dan's and one of the funniest meditation teachers alive — walks you through how to stay grounded in your own body even when the people around you are melting down.</p> <p dir="ltr">This meditation is especially helpful if you tend to:</p> <ul> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">Fix other people's problems without being asked</p> </li> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">Rush to make everything okay the instant someone frowns</p> </li> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">Get overwhelmed by other people's moods</p> </li> <li dir="ltr"> <p dir="ltr">Lose your boundaries around demanding or sensitive humans (including the tiny ones)</p> </li> </ul> <p dir="ltr">To get more meditations from Jeff and our other teachers — plus join our weekly live sessions (every Tuesday at 4pm ET) — you can sign up at DanHarris.com.</p> <p dir="ltr">Related episodes:<br /> <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/danharris/p/working-with-a-brain-that-doesnt?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&amp;utm_medium=web"> Working With a Brain That Doesn't Behave | Jeff Warren</a></p> <p><strong><br /> <br /></strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Join Dan's online community <a href="http://www.danharris.com/">here</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Follow Dan on social: <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J">TikTok</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Subscribe to our <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD">YouTube Channel</a></p> <p>Thanks to our
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Boundaries by Grounding

When feeling pulled out of yourself or pressured by others, pause, breathe, and intentionally come back to your body by rooting your attention in physical sensations like your feet, seat, or spine. This practice is the antidote to people-pleasing and emotional contagion, allowing you to make more appropriate responses from an autonomous place and grow equanimity over time.

2. Recognize Social Pressure Bodily

To understand your reactions to social pressure, imagine a real situation where you feel this pressure and get curious about what it feels like in your body (e.g., contraction, physical pressure, resentment, spacing out). Recognizing these bodily sensations is the first step in learning to feel them without acting on them, which is crucial for setting boundaries.

3. Feel Discomfort Without Reacting

After recognizing the physical experience of social pressure in your body, practice feeling those sensations without immediately acting on the impulse to react, pacify, or ‘get something over with.’ This allows you to be ‘bigger than the impulse’ and prevents you from losing yourself in others’ business, fostering healthy boundaries.

4. Use Deliberate Breathing to Settle

Begin by taking a few slow, deliberate breaths, stretching up on the inhale and settling down on the exhale, allowing everything to settle for a few beats. This helps to settle your body and mind, creating a foundation for deeper self-awareness and grounding.

5. Anchor Attention During Meditation

To maintain focus during meditation, rest your attention on your out-breath or some other soothing sound or sensation, and gently bring your mind back to this anchor whenever it wanders. This technique helps to keep your attention rooted and patient, supporting the practice of staying present in your body.

6. Visualize Skin for Containment

To enhance the feeling of being solid and contained, imagine your skin shrink-wrapping around you, creating a satisfying tautness. This visualization helps reinforce the sense of your own autonomous physicality and clarifies where you end and someone else begins, which is a key to healthy boundaries.

7. Savor Autonomous Physicality

Sit and savor the sense of your own autonomous physicality, breathing patiently as sensations rise and fall, to cultivate a feeling of sovereignty. This practice is a key to healthy boundaries, helping you know where you end and someone else begins.