Prioritize social connection in your life as it is essential for body, mind, and spirit, contributing to health, longevity, and immunity.
Approach friendships as intentionally and systematically as you do family and romantic relationships, as they are a massive contributor to mental health.
Diversify your social support network beyond a single romantic partner, as one person cannot provide everything an entire community should.
Nurture your friendships regularly by ‘watering’ them with attention and effort, as they need care to flourish and thrive.
Periodically sit down with friends to evaluate the health of your friendship by asking ‘How’s our friendship doing?’ to address imbalances or issues.
If you are haunted by suspicions about a friendship’s status, find out the truth to stop the haunting; however, if it doesn’t plague you, it’s okay to leave it be.
If a friendship is robust and you believe your friend cares, directly communicate when they let you down by expressing feelings of anger, hurt, or sadness.
When a friendship is in crisis or ends, seek or offer a chance to repair and reestablish the connection, taking responsibility for your actions to make up.
Broach issues directly with friends by saying what’s on your mind rather than harboring simmering resentments, as open communication prevents long-term damage.
Practice relational self-awareness by reflecting on your feelings, your behavior, and how you imagine the other person perceives your way of being in friendships.
When apologizing to a friend, validate their feelings and acknowledge their experience (e.g., ‘I get it’) rather than explaining or justifying your actions.
Explicitly tell friends why their presence and friendship are important to you, especially at celebrations, as it is an incredibly affirming and nourishing experience.
Make a conscious effort to ‘show up’ for friends during difficult times, such as the death of a parent, as it is crucial to be present and supportive.
Be systematic about making new friends and maintaining existing relationships by scheduling time, reaching out, and setting up gatherings.
Cultivate curiosity about friends, even those you know well, to discover new things about them, as this ‘juice’ nourishes friendships and keeps them fresh.
Engage in playful activities and games with friends to foster fun, connection, and spontaneity.
Engage in small, non-verbal gestures of affection and connection with friends, as these simple actions convey appreciation and strengthen bonds.
If you’ve been absent from friendships due to career or other commitments, apologize for past disengagement and express your desire to reconnect.
If career focus led to disengagement, explain to friends that it was about work, not their importance, and that you now seek a richer life that includes them.
When a friend is ill, go beyond texting by making an effort to call them regularly (e.g., twice a week) or send constant texts without expecting a response to show consistent support.
If a friend is struggling with suicidal thoughts, gather a group of friends to hold and support them, ensuring they don’t collapse and are watched over.
Acknowledge and discuss feelings of envy or jealousy towards friends, using humor to diffuse tension and accept these ‘irreverent emotions’ as normal parts of the experience.
Maintain solid individual friendships, especially long-standing ones, alongside couple friendships, and avoid giving them up if your partner doesn’t connect with them.
Cultivate friendships across the gender spectrum, potentially including exes, but be prepared to work through complexities and establish trust regarding their meaning in your life.
When re-engaging socially or making new friends, share your excitement and vulnerability, expressing how glad you are to be back on this track and feeling new energy.
If you are the one letting friends down (e.g., being late), acknowledge your behavior and commit to changing it to show respect for their time and maintain the friendship.