Develop love, broadly understood, as it might be the most important skill to cultivate for personal well-being and navigating challenging times.
Shift from being a ‘drill sergeant’ to a ‘coach’ with yourself, practicing self-compassion by talking to yourself as you would a good friend or mentee.
Practice meditation by focusing on one thing (e.g., breath) and, each time your mind wanders, gently notice the distraction and start again, building self-awareness.
Implement a 4-step morning mindset routine: take at least one intentional breath, practice gratitude, use imagery to visualize your ideal self, and take a moment to be present.
Develop foundational skills for high-stress conditions: self-efficacy (feeling powerful and capable), purpose (anchoring to something bigger), and psychological agility (navigating emotions flexibly).
To achieve growth and mastery, consistently work at the edge of your capacity, practicing things you’re not good at, as this is where true development occurs.
Engage in acute stressors followed by intelligent, complete recovery to avoid chronic stress and promote growth, aiming for a ‘seismograph’ pattern of big spike, big recovery.
Strengthen your psychological fitness by engaging with ideas you dislike and, even better, by building relationships and talking to actual human beings with whom you disagree, as ‘it’s hard to hate up close’.
Leverage your influence as a ’node in an interconnected society’ by modeling open-mindedness, relentless curiosity, and a willingness to reconsider and engage for your friends and family.
Engage in self-talk by addressing yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a good friend, mentee, or child, which has powerful psychological and physiological benefits.
Supercharge your self-talk by referring to yourself in the third person (e.g., ‘Dan, you’re not going to die’) to create a sense of distance and impart wisdom more effectively in stressful situations.
Enhance your self-awareness through three practices: mindfulness (meditation), journaling, and engaging in conversations with people of wisdom.
When facing fears, remind yourself you’ll be fine, anchor to a larger purpose (e.g., modeling courage for your child), and practice psychological agility by knowing when to take a break and re-attack later.
To reduce fear, face stressors head-on without retreating, either in imagination or real life, as retreating strengthens avoidance responses, while confronting builds familiarity and reduces fear.
When facing a challenge, decide on your own terms when to tackle it, and once committed, do not retreat, though strategic temporary breaks can be clever tactics.
Structure your day to include many acute stressors, recovering from them quickly, and incorporating significant recovery mechanisms like 8 hours of sleep, mobility work, and quality conversations.
Incorporate diverse stressors into your life, including physical challenges (e.g., extra reps), emotional vulnerability (difficult conversations), and activities with real consequences (e.g., public speaking).
Nurture curiosity as a core personal trait, as it is a powerful driver for learning and understanding, and essential for powering civic life.
Power your civic life with relentless curiosity and a healthy second-guessing of your own beliefs, constantly reconsidering information rather than seeking confirmation of priors.
Approach information and beliefs with an analytical mindset, questioning and examining rather than rigidly adhering to dogma, as the Buddha advised.
Implement simple rituals like shaking hands and making eye contact before and after cooperative activities to diminish polarization and tribalism, even among those who disagree.
Diminish polarization and tribalism by bringing together people who disagree to engage in cooperative, non-hierarchical activities (e.g., sports, volunteering, school boards) where everyone works together without a boss.
Ease your nervous system and reduce rage by listening to podcasts and reading writers with whom you disagree, understanding their logic and recognizing that most people believe they are doing the right thing.
Choose to engage in difficult times from a position of consistent, values-based energy, which can be understood as love, to stay clear, motivated, and avoid burnout from blind rage.
Identify your Ideal Competitive Mindset (ICM) and actively train to access it daily, not just for peak performance moments, by focusing on competing to be your personal best, not better than others.
Define your Ideal Competitive Mindset (ICM) by identifying the core feeling or state you want to embody, such as ’love,’ to serve as a clear bullseye for your mental preparation.
To embody your ideal mindset more often, label it, describe its feelings and appearance, then integrate training mechanisms like meditation, writing, and practicing in conversations.
Incorporate a quick imagery practice into your morning routine, using your imagination to visualize yourself being the person you want to be at a specific time or phase of the day.
Before engaging in important activities, develop small, personalized rituals (e.g., tapping something, tying laces a certain way) to activate your desired mindset and connect to your ideal state.
Begin your day with at least one intentional exhale to signal to your brain that it’s okay, you don’t need to rush into stress, promoting a sense of calm.
Practice gratitude by actively activating the felt sense of appreciation for simple things (e.g., having two eyes, healthy legs) rather than just checking a box, to light up positive brain areas.
Use a quick burst of imagination to visualize yourself at your very best, including how you walk, feel, and the internal state behind your eyes and in your chest, setting an intention for how you want to be.
Conclude your morning routine with a moment of simple presence, anchoring yourself in the current moment before starting your day.
Develop a suite of relational skills, or ‘social fitness,’ by actively assessing and improving how you interact with strangers, friends, family, and your romantic partner.
Consciously pay attention to and engage with the small, everyday ‘micro-interactions’ you have throughout the day to inject significant happiness into your life.
Recognize that a lack of love and unwillingness to deal with suffering are at the root of global issues, and commit to addressing your own suffering and the suffering around you with love.
Recognize your agency and the interdependence of the world by consciously choosing to be a positive ‘vector’ of behavior and emotion within your family, workplace, and community.
As an engaged citizen, allocate some time to current events, but primarily direct your energy towards making changes within your immediate ‘orbit’ where you have direct agency.
Engage in small, infinitely scalable acts of kindness, like holding a door open, recognizing that these actions bring happiness and benefit both self and others.
Cultivate harmony in your relationships with the whole world for the happiest possible life flow, taking firm action against injustice when necessary, but ensuring it is not motivated by hatred.
When sharing wisdom or ideas, strive to articulate them in a way that resonates personally with you and helps others connect to the message.
If you find yourself being self-critical during meditation, simply note the judgment (‘oh, judgment’) and include it in your awareness, rather than feeling like you’re doing it wrong.
For public speaking anxiety, consider discussing beta blockers with a doctor, as they can physiologically cap heart rate without altering the mind, helping manage physical panic symptoms.
For severe phobias like panic on planes, engage in exposure therapy with a qualified therapist to gradually confront fears in a controlled environment, even if it’s intensely challenging.
When addressing fears, carefully balance pushing your limits to avoid avoidance with not pushing too hard when unprepared, which can lead to re-traumatization.