Attend the live meditation mini-series (May 19-23, 4 PM Eastern) at danharris.com to learn practices like loving-kindness meditation and the Brahma-Viharas, which are described as the ‘Buddhist antidote to anxiety’ and have physiological, psychological, and behavioral benefits.
Actively question groupthink and work to develop your critical thinking skills to arrive at a point where you can truly trust your own mind, as this is the core message of the book ‘Trust Your Mind’.
Learn to become comfortable with holding uncertainty, as this is identified as the crucial first step in overcoming self-silencing both online and offline, because asking questions means not knowing the response.
Before engaging in a difficult conversation, identify your positive intention (e.g., wanting a good relationship) and articulate it to the other person. This lowers defenses and keeps the prefrontal cortex online, fostering more authentic and productive communication.
When sharing personal struggles or vulnerabilities, especially regarding mental health, aim to teach from ‘scars’ (lessons learned after overcoming a challenge) rather than ‘wounds’ (current, active struggles). This ensures that sharing is helpful and productive, coming from a place of resolution.
Pay attention to and honor feelings of discomfort or an ‘allergic response’ when you notice a lack of diverse viewpoints or difficulty speaking up in your social circles or online. This discomfort is a healthy sign that you are recognizing an unreal, ‘flattened’ culture and is the first step towards seeking authenticity.
Privately seek out and get informed about models for diverse conversations and viewpoints, such as emerging ‘heterodox’ spaces online. This helps you learn how to engage in healthy, productive dissent without immediately confronting your existing social circles.
After privately getting comfortable with diverse viewpoints, initiate one-on-one or small group conversations by sharing what you’ve noticed or read and asking open-ended questions like, ‘What do you think about that?’ This allows you to articulate nuances and discover that others may share similar thoughts or questions.
Actively seek out and connect with people who are comfortable with dissent and value diverse opinions. This is crucial for feeling comfortable expressing your own differing views and building real community based on authenticity.
If you are genuinely curious about diverse viewpoints and have an allergy to groupthink, explore ‘heterodox’ spaces on the internet, such as the Heterodox Academy or related podcasters and YouTubers. These communities are described as welcoming and full of curious people.
Shift your understanding of a ‘safe space’ to mean being around people with whom it is okay to disagree, rather than just those who agree with you. This allows for authentic interaction and dissent, fostering genuine connection.
Cultivate connection and a sense of belonging with others, even when you hold differing opinions. This approach builds real community based on authenticity, rather than simply repeating talking points for the sake of belonging.
Develop comfort with being a bit of a loner, as this mindset is often necessary to feel comfortable dissenting in various settings and to seek out authentic connections.
Engage in practices, such as competitive debate where you don’t know which side you’ll argue, that require you to see many sides of an issue. This develops the skill of imagining others’ perspectives, reduces black-and-white thinking, and fosters compassion and empathy.
Actively expose yourself to a ‘viewpoint diet’ by seeking out opinions from people in different social circles, not just different media. This can encourage critical thinking and increase your capacity and tolerance for uncertainty.
Cultivate friendships across racial lines and diverse backgrounds. Extensive exposure to cross-racial friendships reduces stress about cross-racial interactions and helps your nervous system feel reassured, expanding your capacity for uncertainty.
Overcome fear by asking basic questions about someone’s cultural background or how they grew up doing something. These questions used to be a source of rich conversation and can help foster connection and curiosity.
When sharing vulnerability, particularly around mental health issues, ensure you also share something that can be done about it or a solution. This makes the sharing productive, providing normalization and help rather than just ‘wallowing’.
Be open to tolerating provocative comedy, even if it seems risky or potentially offensive, because its benefits in forcing critical thinking, healing, reducing stress, and unifying people often outweigh the cons of potential offense.