Cultivate a strong sense of purpose in life, as research indicates it is the single biggest determinant for improving immune system health and overall well-being.
Implement a three-part recovery toolkit: calm your nervous system (e.g., meditation, exercise, dancing), connect with others (or nature, pets), and find a sense of purpose, as these actions collectively promote healing and resilience.
Engage in talk therapy to challenge negative self-narratives, gain external perspective, and validate your experiences, which helps counteract feelings of inadequacy and isolation.
Actively seek social connection with friends, family, or even pets to counteract loneliness and fulfill the brain’s natural wiring for bonding, which activates opioid receptors.
Actively cultivate openness as a personality trait by consciously seeking out beauty and awe, as this practice can enhance resilience, flexibility, and a sense of connection to the world.
Practice meditation to pay attention to your mind, notice thoughts, and recognize the transient nature of self-narratives and emotions, especially when dealing with heartbreak.
Embrace vulnerability after suffering, as it can break down barriers and lead to deeper, more authentic connections with others who may respond with their own vulnerability.
Transform personal struggles or ‘messes’ into a ‘message’ or project that can provide personal meaning and potentially help others.
Spend time in pleasant, non-threatening natural settings to calm the nervous system, reduce heart rate, slow respiration, and lower blood pressure.
Engage all senses when in nature (smell, touch, sight, sound, ground under feet) to activate the ‘animal brain,’ quiet the cognitive brain, and reduce rumination.
Seek out and spend time with others who have experienced similar challenges, especially those who are thriving, to foster common humanity and model resilience.
Consider EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy to process traumatic memories by using bilateral stimulation to reduce their emotional charge and lessen emotional provocation.
Explore psychedelic-assisted therapy (MDMA/psilocybin) under professional guidance to potentially gain a sense of interconnectedness, reduce ego-centric suffering, and open new perspectives on personal growth.
If undergoing psychedelic experiences, continue meditating afterwards to help prolong and integrate the insights gained into daily life, accessing states of ego loss and interconnectedness.
Write down negative aspects or behaviors of an ex-partner to counteract romanticization and aid in the healing process by providing a more balanced view of the past relationship.
Engage in narrative writing by focusing on what you’ve learned from a breakup and where you want to go next, as this approach has been shown to reduce depression and anxiety while increasing optimism.
Learn to accept a lack of total closure after devastating life events, understanding that it’s a natural part of life’s fluctuations and emotional experiences.
Consider seeking intimacy or a ‘rebound’ relationship after a breakup, as studies suggest it can improve self-confidence, self-esteem, and expedite getting over an ex.
Actively seek out and engage with available community resources such as friends, religious organizations, or local community groups to foster connection and aid in healing.
Visit or engage with similar cultural rituals like the Museum of Broken Relationships to gain perspective, find commonality, and facilitate closure by externalizing and sharing experiences.
Find a professional or personal project to give purpose and routine, as this can be therapeutic and provide a reason to engage daily, especially during difficult times.