Become conscious of your automatic thoughts and behaviors, especially those that lead to self-blame, to understand their origin and challenge them.
When a negative thought about your body or self arises, interrupt it, recognize it as a pattern, and consciously choose an alternative, more supportive thought or option.
Consistently repeat new, positive behaviors and thoughts in the face of old patterns to create new neural pathways, making positive responses your default over time.
Recognize that living in fear and shame is already uncomfortable; choose the discomfort of growth and liberation as a service to your own well-being.
Learn to differentiate between your own authentic voice and the ‘system’s voice’ (cultural conditioning) in your head, then use tools to reduce the volume of those external, negative narratives.
Acknowledge that culturally ingrained negative ideas and biases were given to you, not created by you, making it easier to examine and ‘return’ them by taking responsibility for interrogating them.
Shift your perspective to see your body as an ally working in solidarity with you, rather than an enemy to be controlled or manipulated, to foster a relationship based on partnership and shared well-being.
Internalize the belief that ‘your body is not an apology’ at a cellular level to transform how you move through the world and show up for your own safety and well-being.
Allow yourself the spaciousness to not understand certain differences (e.g., different ways of desire) without judging them, creating room for acceptance.
Cultivate peace with difference by seeing it as natural variation and part of the ecosystem, rather than a threat or a source of scarcity.
Embrace the unique differences of your own body by first making peace with difference in general, recognizing that much shame comes from comparing your body to societal norms.
Join a community to sustain your radical self-love journey, as it provides reinforcement for personal shifts and collective power to express changes on structural and systemic levels.
Offer yourself grace and accept imperfection throughout your radical self-love journey, acknowledging that it is difficult work and you will inevitably fall back into old patterns.
When encountering resistance to self-love, acknowledge its presence and get curious about its underlying fears or reasons, rather than dismissing it.
Be willing to accept the ‘cost’ of divesting from external validation and consciously choose yourself and your humanity over external prizes offered by societal systems.
Question if your ambition is solely driven by a sense of ’not enoughness,’ and instead cultivate radical self-love to fuel ambition from a place of purpose, joy, and alignment, which is more sustainable.
Consistently practice radical self-love, even if you don’t fully believe it at first, as the repetition of thinking and doing will eventually make it your natural state.
Actively reduce self-criticism and ’not kicking your own butt’ to improve your inner life, which in turn enhances relationships and creates a positive feedback loop.
Once personal self-love is established, extend your practice to challenging social structures and systems, observing how you can act differently within them and what resistance or opportunities arise.
Download and use the 10% Happier app to seamlessly transition from listening to the podcast to practicing meditation and applying the discussed skills.