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How to Break Bad Mental Habits | Carol Wilson

Jul 27, 2022 1h 3m 38 insights
<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>There are so many benefits to mindfulness with one of the biggest being the cultivation of more self-awareness. This cultivation can lead to identifying the unhelpful mental habits that can develop over the years.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Today we're going to talk to Carol Wilson who offers very clear and practical ways that Buddhist meditation can help us turn down the volume on our unproductive mental habits and be less reactive.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Wilson is a guiding teacher at the <a href="https://www.dharma.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Insight Meditation Society</a>, where for many years she has taught their annual three-month retreat. She began her insight meditation practice in 1971 in India and in the 1980s she spent a year in Thailand as a Buddhist nun. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we talk about:</p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>How to be mindful throughout the day</li> <li>The concept of 360 degree awareness</li> <li>Noticing when one experiences wanting or aversion </li> <li>Why Wilson believes that the root of suffering comes from making it all about us</li> <li>How seeing torment can help us experience freedom from the self</li> <li>The benefits of reflecting on your past acts of generosity </li> <li>Bringing awareness to your motivations</li> <li>And doing a gratitude practice regularly to change the weather pattern in your mind</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/carol-wilson-481" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/carol-wilson-481</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness

Practice mindfulness to clearly observe your thoughts, urges, and emotions, which helps identify unhelpful mental habits and reduces emotional reactivity.

2. Access Natural Awareness

Cultivate the ability to recognize the simple, receptive quality of natural awareness or ‘pure knowing’ in any moment, which brings ease and non-clinging to experience.

3. Shift from Self-Centered Reactivity

Consciously shift away from habitual reactivity that centers on personal impact (‘what does it mean to me?’), fostering a more peaceful mind and compassionate responses.

4. Observe Torment Impersonally

Recognize that suffering often stems from making everything about oneself; observing your own ’torment’ (greed, hatred, confusion) impersonally can lead to freedom from self-referential views.

5. Notice Wanting and Aversion

Pay attention to the arising of wanting and aversion in your mind, as recognizing these states frees you from their influence and allows for clearer perception.

6. Suffering Signals Unmindfulness

When you find yourself struggling or suffering, recognize this as a sign that you are not being mindful of some form of holding, denial, aversion, or delusion.

7. Distrust Clouded Assessments

If wanting, aversion, or confusion is driving your thoughts, distrust any assessments made by your thinking mind in that moment, as they are likely clouded and unreliable.

8. Cultivate Inner Peace

Strive to find peace within your own mind and heart, particularly by welcoming difficult emotions into awareness, as this enables you to bring peace to others.

9. Cultivate Wholesome States

Understand that mental states have inertia; actively cultivate wholesome states like generosity, as awareness helps break unwholesome habits and promotes positive mental patterns.

10. Practice Joyful Generosity

Engage in acts of generosity, tuning into the open-hearted joy and wholesome motivation that arises from sharing, which cultivates genuine happiness and encourages further generosity.

11. Reflect on Past Generosity

When your mind is clouded, reflect on past acts of generosity, focusing on the happiness they brought, which clears the mind of passion, aversion, or fear.

12. Cultivate Gratitude

Regularly practice gratitude by reflecting on things you are thankful for, which shifts your inner mental atmosphere towards joy and contentment.

13. Cultivate Non-Preference

Strive to cultivate a mind without preferences, accepting ‘it’s all this right now,’ which leads to total presence and avoids creating suffering through distinctions.

14. Continuously Reset Awareness

Recognize the powerful pull of habitual mental patterns and commit to continuously ‘resetting’ and reminding yourself of awareness and freedom to sustain practice over time.

15. Renew Moment-to-Moment Commitment

Embrace the understanding that every moment is new and requires renewed commitment to practice, fostering persistence in cultivating awareness.

16. Practice Simple Awareness

Set aside 20 minutes daily to sit quietly and gently notice simple, obvious sensations like those in your hands or sounds, allowing them to be known without intense focus.

17. Observe Sensory Processes

Practice recognizing sensory experiences, like hearing or seeing, as processes themselves rather than immediately getting absorbed in the object or story, which fosters receptive awareness.

18. Release Clinging to Experience

When unpleasant experiences or aversion arise, recognize them within awareness without clinging, which reduces their hold and brings a sense of ease.

19. Feel Emotions Directly

Practice recognizing moods and emotions by directly feeling their physical and mental sensations, which increases daily awareness and reduces reflexive reactions.

20. Observe Anger’s Body Sensations

When experiencing anger, shift your attention from cognitive narratives to its physical sensations in your body, which can prevent reflexive, habitual reactions.

21. Pause on Aversive Impulses

When you detect aversion or wanting influencing your immediate response, especially in communication, pause before acting to gain clearer perspective and avoid tunnel vision.

22. Observe Narratives Without Trigger

When difficult feelings arise, observe the accompanying personal narratives and stories without getting triggered, allowing for equanimity, clear seeing, or compassion to emerge.

23. Respond Consciously, Not Reactively

In triggering situations, use awareness to understand your emotional reactions and pause before responding, allowing for a more connecting or less angry interaction.

24. Examine Motivations

Bring awareness to your motivations for action, especially regarding ethical conduct, to foster non-harming behavior and a sense of lightness.

25. Cultivate Non-Harming Awareness

Pay attention to the subtle positive feelings that arise from acts of non-harming, even small ones, without judgment or creating a story, reinforcing wholesome conduct.

26. Stop Gossip, Feel Lightness

When you catch yourself gossiping, simply stop and notice the feeling of refraining from causing harm, which brings a sense of lightness and happiness.

27. Daily Wholesome Action Reflection

At the end of each day, reflect on all the small, positive actions you performed, focusing on the wholesome motivations and feelings to reinforce positive habits.

28. Start Day with Gratitude

Upon waking, consciously find small things to be grateful for, such as warm feet, to positively shift your mental atmosphere and promote wholesome states throughout the day.

29. Morning Walking Meditation

Practice walking meditation for 20-30 minutes in the morning, focusing on the sensations in your feet to settle a scattered mind and recognize simple awareness.

30. Cultivate Wholesome in Neutrality

Actively cultivate wholesome states like gratitude or loving kindness even during neutral or dull moments, making them more available during challenging times.

31. Intensive Wholesome Practice

Engage in intensive practice of wholesome states like loving kindness, not just reactively, to strengthen these mental ‘muscles’ and make them more readily available.

32. Open to Sorrow with Awareness

When overwhelmed by suffering, consciously open into the sorrow with awareness rather than pushing it away, which can bring a sense of freedom.

33. Seek Moments of Awe

Actively seek and recognize moments of non-conceptual awe or peace in daily life, without attaching stories or self-reference, to experience freedom from self-centeredness.

34. Surrender to the Dharma

Instead of actively chasing spiritual progress, surrender and trust the process, allowing the Dharma to unfold naturally without forceful striving.

35. Recognize Causes of Suffering

Become aware of your tendency to love or cling to the causes of suffering, even while disliking the suffering itself, to break the cycle.

36. Recognize Being Caught Up

When you realize you are ‘caught up’ in a mental state, appreciate this recognition as it is a crucial step out of identification and into awareness.

37. Reduce Unproductive Mental Habits

Engage in Buddhist meditation to decrease the influence of unproductive mental habits and foster a less reactive state of mind.

38. Practice 360-Degree Awareness

Cultivate a relaxed and receptive awareness throughout your day, not trying to focus on one thing but noticing all experiences as they arise.