← 10% Happier with Dan Harris

How to Benefit From Religion, Even as a Nonbeliever | David DeSteno

Nov 15, 2021 55m 24s 19 insights
<p>Dr. David DeSteno has embarked on a project he calls "religio-prospecting." In other words, he has been looking at the scientific evidence that many ancient religious traditions can confer all sorts of benefits, whether you're a believer or not. He points out that many secular people practice mindfulness, even if they're not Buddhists. His question is - what's the next mindfulness?</p> <p><br /></p> <p>David DeSteno is a professor of psychology at <a href="https://www.northeastern.edu/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Northeastern University</a>, where he directs the <a href="https://davedesteno.com/lab" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Social Emotions Group</a>, and the author of a new book called <a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/How-God-Works/David-DeSteno/9781982142315" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">How God Works: The Science Behind the Benefits of Religion</a>, and is the host of a new podcast on PRX, also called "<a href="https://davedesteno.com/podcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">How God Works</a>." This episode explores David's desire to study the benefits of religious practice in a scientific way and the evidence behind such practices as: sitting shiva, gratitude, the Apache sunrise ceremony, and Japanese Shinto rituals around childbirth.</p> <p> </p> <p>Subscribe by December 1 to get 40% off a Ten Percent Happier subscription! Click <a href="http://www.tenpercent.com/40" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a> for your discount.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/david-desteno-397" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/david-desteno-397</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Daily Gratitude

Practice daily gratitude, such as giving thanks before meals, upon waking, or using a gratitude journal. This acts as a daily boost, dramatically increasing honesty, generosity, and kindness in your behavior.

2. Invest in Relationships Actively

Systematically invest time, effort, and resources into relationships you wish to strengthen, treating the act of caring as a way to deepen affection. The act of caring and investing reinforces the value you place on the relationship, fostering deeper affection and connection.

3. Reduce Decision Anxiety

Cultivate a belief in a higher power or a mindset that things will generally work out, accepting that you don’t need to optimize every decision. This approach reduces decision fatigue and anxiety associated with making choices in various life areas, leading to overall reduced daily anxiety.

4. Practice Compassionate Meditation

Engage in meditation with the explicit intention of cultivating compassion and kindness towards yourself and others. The core purpose of meditation is to reduce suffering and has been shown to make people more compassionate and kinder.

5. Seek Instrumental Grief Support

During mourning, actively seek out and accept instrumental support from people who are physically present and offer practical help. Instrumental support, characterized by in-person presence and practical assistance, is a major predictor of resilience in the face of grief.

6. Consolidate Positive Grief Memories

Actively recall, share, and consolidate positive memories of a deceased person during mourning. This practice is a major predictor of resilience and helps individuals move through grief more effectively.

7. Engage in Synchronous Movement

Participate in synchronous movements with others, such as swaying, tapping in unison, or taking deep breaths together. This simple act fosters feelings of closeness, increases compassion, and enhances willingness to help one another.

8. Create Parent-Child Bonding Rituals

Establish daily, secular rituals with your children, such as giving massages, reading aloud, or snuggling together. These consistent acts of care reinforce the child’s importance and value, strengthening the parent-child bond, especially when bonding is challenging.

9. Lessen Self-Focus in Distress

During times of intense negative emotion, consciously reduce self-focus and avoid activities that intensify self-awareness, such as looking in mirrors. Self-focus tends to intensify emotions, particularly grief and anxiety, so reducing it can help manage these feelings.

10. Introduce Mild Discomfort for Rumination

When experiencing rumination or depression, introduce mild physical discomfort, such as sitting in an unergonomic or low position. Research suggests that mild onsets and offsets of pain or discomfort can help reduce rumination and depression.

11. Signal Mourning to Others

Wear an external sign of mourning, such as a black ribbon, to indicate your emotional state to those you encounter. This helps others understand your emotional state, allowing them to approach you with appropriate sensitivity and respect.

12. Let Mourners Guide Interactions

When visiting mourners, wait for them to initiate conversation and allow them to set the emotional tone of the interaction. This approach respects their emotional state, eases the interaction, and avoids putting pressure on them to conform to expectations.

13. Consider Iterative Rites of Passage

For societal or family contexts, consider creating multiple, iterative rites of passage for significant accomplishments (e.g., college entry, first job). These ceremonies, which require demonstrations of self-control and competence, can encourage individuals to take on adult responsibilities and help the community recognize their evolving roles.

14. Use METTA for Self-Compassion

During loving-kindness (Metta) meditation, when directing wishes of happiness to yourself, generate the felt sense of profound joy or affection, such as from hugging a loved one. This technique can intensify the experience of happiness and self-compassion within the practice.

15. Approach Psychedelics with Scaffolding

If considering psychedelic experiences, ensure they are undertaken with trained individuals who provide ritualistic scaffolding, such as chanting and prayers. Rituals and guidance help create a safe and blissful transcendental experience, mitigating the risks of a terrifying trip.

16. Consider Belief in Afterlife

Reflect on and potentially adopt a belief in an afterlife. This belief can significantly reduce anxiety about death, especially as one ages, without any apparent downside.

17. Adopt Religio-Prospecting Mindset

Approach traditional spiritual practices with a scientific, non-theological lens to identify beneficial practices. This method allows for the discovery and adaptation of ancient wisdom that can improve life, similar to how meditation has been adopted secularly.

18. Utilize App Discounts

Take advantage of the 40% discount on 10% Happier subscriptions before December 1st by visiting 10percent.com/40. This allows you to try out the app’s meditation community and features at a reduced cost.

19. Try New Meditation App

Sign up for the 14-day free trial of the new ‘10% with Dan Harris’ meditation app at DanHarris.com. This grants access to a library of guided meditations, live community sessions, and ad-free podcast episodes.