Practice mindfulness through meditation to know your mind and refrain from acting out unwholesome states, and cultivate ‘sila’ by refraining from harmful actions while nurturing qualities that cause harmony and goodwill.
Start your day by internally stating intentions, such as ‘May I be helpful today?’ or ‘May I try to be as kind and calm as possible,’ as these intentions are powerful and become more accessible in your mind stream.
Practice mindfulness during daily activities like washing dishes (noticing sensations like warmth, thoughts like worrying) and walking (noticing steps in a hallway) to build continuity of awareness, especially when sustained sitting meditation is not possible.
Begin with Metta (loving-kindness) practice for yourself and others, then move to equanimity by focusing on a neutral person and using wisdom-oriented phrases like ‘Pleasure and pain arise and pass away; this is how it is’ or ‘All beings have their own journey’ to cultivate acceptance and non-reactivity.
When practicing Metta (loving-kindness) for a difficult person, start by sending Metta to yourself and then to an easy person before moving to the difficult person, or visualize them surrounded by people you care for or by your own benefactors.
Before entering difficult conversations or meetings, prepare your own mind by internally stating intentions like, ‘May I use words that are clear, beneficial, and useful?’ to guide your speech and actions.
During reactive moments in conversations or meetings, give yourself short, internal reminders such as ‘Stay stable, stay spacious, stay clear’ to maintain balance and prevent blind reactions.
When your words or actions have caused unintended harm, sincerely apologize for the impact on the other person, even if your intention was different, recognizing that both intention and impact are important aspects of karma.
In fast-paced, potentially reactive situations, consider using ‘Dharma duct tape’ (i.e., refraining from speaking) if you don’t have time to think about the potential impact of your words.
When witnessing harm, take decisive action by speaking up loudly and calling for help, even if it means retreating to safety afterward, demonstrating that equanimity is not passivity but can be a wise, forceful response.
Participate in the free 7-day ‘Do Life Better’ meditation challenge at danharris.com starting January 6th, receiving daily guided meditations and access to live check-ins to use meditation as a foundational habit for behavior change.
Explore the ‘10% with Dan Harris’ meditation app with a 14-day free trial to access a library of guided meditations for various issues, weekly live Zoom community sessions, and ad-free podcast episodes.